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Report: Nintendo execs worried Switch online might not be the worst in industry


Over the last week, Nintendo executives have found themselves scrambling upon the realization that opening up its system to cross-play might actually be a good decision.

“We’ve worked so hard over the last ten years to ensure that our online system would always be the most vintage of the top-three,” said one well-placed source. “Now, all of a sudden Sony chooses not to allow cross-play with the other platform holders and we look like the good guy for working with Microsoft?! We always believed our online appeal was that it was still stuck in the 20th century, like a museum. We might lose that magical image!”

Another source said he hoped this positive reception would blow over, noting that Nintendo Switch’s online features were still archaic.

“Listen, Switch is still the place to be if you’re looking for the classic online experience you all know and love,” said the source. “Our voice chat makes no sense, we still don’t have achievements, and our My Nintendo rewards system is literally the furthest thing away from user-friendly.”

Our sources told us that the decision for cross-play was originally made in an attempt to show that Nintendo’s online was so horrendous that another company needed to manage it. That plan backfired, however.

“We thought that if cross-play was done through Xbox Live, then it would look like we weren’t competent enough to run it ourselves,” said one developer familiar with Nintendo’s online infrastructure. “The whole plan backfired! Now Sony looks like the bad guy for not allowing cross-play and we look like the progressive ones.”

Reportedly, Nintendo of America President Reggie Fils-Aime had warned the Japanese executives that the decision to open cross-play would actually bring Nintendo into the spotlight. However, the company’s board members laughed him out of the room, saying that his silly American perspective had no idea how people would actually react to such an important decision.

Rocket League and Minecraft will both be launching this fall with cross-play on the Nintendo Switch. Reportedly, Nintendo is still exploring options on what it can do to take back the image as the vintage 20th-century online infrastructure system.

*obviously a satire* Originally posted on Nintendo Enthusiast.

- Keep gaming real.

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About Elia Palesone of us since 9:45 AM on 10.04.2014

Eli Pales owns pretty much every single product Nintendo puts out, and due to his impulsive tendencies, he also tends to purchase every gaming product put out in general. When not gaming, he’s probably running cross country or writing. He makes sure to take regular gaming breaks, though.
You can follow Elia on Twitter: @Paleselan