I know we're all going to have mixed opinions about this, but I felt that Nintendo won E3 of 2014: they not only showed a slew of games we were expecting to see like Hyrule Warriors
and Super Smash Brothers
, but even games like Bayonetta 2
and the new IP Splatoon
made me salivate over a Wii U, so much that I've been thinking about getting the Mario Kart 8
bundle (but that's another topic). So, since I'm on that Nintendo hype train, Nintendo is all that's on my brain right now. Unforunately, sex is also on my brain (then again, it usually is anyway), so, naturally, the two are going to mix together (heck, all I needed to hear was "train" before I imagine the innuendo of a train entering a tunnel). Now, there are many franchises that we come to know from the big N, and I'm assuming that there's probably a good amount of doujinshi of them as well.
So which one am I going to choose? Well, why not just pick the one that is the most well-known to everyone, to gamers and non-gamers alike, to anyone whose mind immediately jumps to when they hear you playing Nintendo? Yep, that's right: Super Mario Brothers
. Now, this franchise has been all over the place, to almost everything imaginable, ranging from TV shows and movies, to McDonald's toys and Kraft's macaroni and cheese shapes. In Japan, there's a Mario manga that gets published every month in CoroCoro Comic
that's supposefully still ongoing to this day (this is the first I heard of it, and only because I read about it on the Mario wiki site, so it's not like I know that myself) that supposefully has content from the games Mario has been in, from main games like Super Mario Word
, to spin-offs like Mario Party
I'm not sure whether there's Super Mario
doujinshi still being made (since I live in North America, my doujinshi database is pretty much limited to hentai sites, and though English-translated hentai manga are for sale though Amazon, these are original works whereas most doujinshi unofficially features licensed characters)... but I'm inclined to think so just because it's popular, like how we're still getting works of Metroid's
Samus Aran (we might talk about that another time). However, the doujinshi that I'm going to talk about today is a blast from the past because it's at least over two decades old, and one that's actually pretty lengthy in content (hence the solo spotlight). It amused me enough that I actually read through the whole series (though that's not saying much considering how many words are just sexually charged panting... which is a lot
by the way), so I think you might be interested in it.
"It was a dark and stormy night..." such a clich'e. Super Mario
games don't really have a continuity to them, but this particular doujinshi at least attempts to link some of the games together in one sex-filled exploit of Princess Peach (or Princess Toadstool, if you wanna be that
guy... I'm not that guy). As some of us might know, the plot of the original Super Mario Brothers
is that Bowser (or King Koopa) wants to take over the Mushroom Kingdom, and thus plots an invasion with his henchmen. However, while this doujinshi references the same backstory, what's interesting is that the manga notes that the prologue of the game (when the Princess is taken) is actually happening during the original Donkey Kong
arcade game when Mario is trying to rescue Pauline. In other words, immediately after saving Pauline, Mario hears news of the kidnapping, and sets out to rescue Peach (like how you immediately start running towards the goal after pressing Start). Because, hey, once you defeat a giant ape, a turtle king is easier, right?
Now, I'm sure we all
"know" what Bowser is really
doing with Princess Peach back in his castle (and if you have the mind to assume anything else, you're presumably a way better person than I), so the doujinshi doesn't waste any time getting into it: Bowser starts having his way with the Princess Peach, while Mario's running through obstacles, by subjecting her to his underlings, or even the good old fashion tentacle rape. Funny enough, the manga actually cuts in what Mario is doing during these dirty deeds (like beating up Goombas, dodging squids, and facing Piranha Plants) as he makes his way to the castle, and it's kind of in a way that looks like an action comic and an adult magazine at the same time (seriously, one panel he's jumping out of pipes, and the next has Peach jumping on pipes of her own). Humorously, Mario doesn't make it past Stage 8 (World, I assume) to mirror the writer's gaming inability to clear that level.
"Supposefully" skipping over the next two games (which is either Lost Levels
, or Super Mario USA
, and Super Mario Brothers 3
), the next plot point "supposefully" takes place during Super Mario World
, judging by the logo that is shown before the steamy sex: Princess Peach is still captive, and is now more compliant with the sexual abuse when Bowser threatens to kill the many Toads of the Kingdom should she refuse. Oddly enough, though the manga clearly marks that these scenes are happening during the events of Super Mario World
, it feels like it belongs in the Super Mario Brothers 3
storyline: Bowser "sics" (in more ways than one) the King of Grassland, who, if you recall, has been turned into a dog in the original NES version, on Princess Peach; meanwhile, in Mario's perspective, Mario has defeated the Koopaling Wendy, then proceeds to take her staff, turn her human, and sex her up. And, like everyone who makes the joke, Mario finds a mushroom that doubles as Viagra for extra penis power.
Interestingly enough, the scene ends with an explanation of the writer admitting that he doesn't have a Super Famicom (SNES to everyone else). However, when he actually gets one, he adds an epilogue to this plot point by having Mario actually
rescuing Princess Peach... only to not only have sex with her himself, but double-teams her with Yoshi (because, let's be honest: Mario owes Yoshi for all the stuff he puts Yoshi through).
Never underestimate the little guy...
Once again trying to establish a narrative, after Mario rescues Princess Peach, the events of Super Mario Brothers 2
(or Super Mario USA
) takes place: Mario, Luigi, Princess Peach, and Toad all go on an adventure to defeat the frog king Wart. As anyone who played the game knows, you can select which character to play as, and instead of travelling in a group together like an RPG, that person goes solo. Most of us probably stuck to the iconic heroes such as Mario and Luigi since we played as them already, but I can see the appeal of picking as Peach whether you're a girl, or simply just curious. Naturally, the story has the "player" selecting Princess Peach to go alone, and as if it's her usual M.O., she gets kidnapped within the next couple of panels: the story even jokes how she "dies" on the very first stage of the game and has horrible stats to boot.
Taken by the Shy Guys (I guess I should've mentioned earlier how certain enemies are anthropomophized into more human-like characters, like Goombas as totally ripped dudes with Goomba-shaped heads), Princess Peach is taken to King Wart for him to enjoy... because [/i]of course[/i] he will. After some short sex scenes (which is an odd thing to criticize in a hentai manga since it's not in motion like amateur porn videos), King Wart leaves her for the Shy Guys to play with... but shortly after they had their fun, someone beats them up to save the day! From the outfit and the girth, as well as being her previous hero, Princess Peach assumes that Mario has come for her... only to be mortified that Wario has appeared instead, and will now be taking her as his property. As for Mario: he has stolen another wand to transform Birdo into a human girl to have sex with (let's not dive into gender debates: it's magic).
Now taking place during Wario Land: Super Mario Brothers 3
, Princess Peach is, once again
subjected to more and more sex... but this time it starts off, weirdly enough, with Peach naked and covered with slug-like bugs, and I'm not quite sure how to feel about that. Speaking of unsure feelings, while I'm not entirely sure if Princess Peach has been enjoying the sex so far (I don't think I heard anything before), she compliments on Wario's "package", which makes Wario think that that's the start of the eventual downward spiral into debauchery: apparently Princess Peach isn't the first princess Wario has captured for himself as we are introduced to Wario's other
sex slave Princess Daisy, who is essentially broken beyond all repair. She does whatever Wario wants her to, so when Wario tells her to strap up and start plunging Peach, she not only does so, but she wants Wario to join in the fun.
He's saying what we're all thinking...
As for what Mario is doing, since this seems to be the recurring gag throughout the book, we see Mario trying to buy something with 6 coins: if you don't get the reference, there was a Gameboy game called Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins
where Mario must gather these special Golden Coins to defeat Wario. However, if you don't get the next reference, I wouldn't blame you: for the next mini side story, it's about a game not released overseas called "Mario and Wario" where, after being defeated by Mario, Wario gets bitter and blinds Mario by shoving his head into a magic bucket (you may have seen the trophy in Super Smash Brothers Melee
). However, a fairy named Wanda sees this, and guides Mario to defeat Wario by rearranging the level, like the newer Mario vs. Donkey Kong
games wheere you try to guide the wind-up toys. As you can guess, Mario "winds up" having sex with Wanda after she accidently gets close to him (since his horny self starts blindly ravaging her as soon as he touches a female).
So far, the book has just been one sex scene after another, and if the word that comes to mind is "repetitive", then you're not the only one: as Princess Peach is capture yet again
(they didn't say whether she was rescued from Wario and then taken, or if she was taken while Wario has her), she somehow manages writes a letter to Mario telling her how depressed she feels about being kidnapped so many times, and subsequently raped, and how she's starting to get used to this cycle of events. As she somberly asks for Mario to come save her once more (to which he rolls his eyes and mutters "give me a break" to himself, either because he frickin' tired
of rescuing her... or is a true man who dislikes sappy melodrama), she then gives into her desires and willingly allows Bowser to have his way with her. Now inhibited, she lets out loud moanings to express her pleasure, to which the other Koopalings overhears and call her a slut (like every other hentai).
However, in a bit of a surprise, this doujinshi harkens back to Princess Peach's backstory from the original Super Mario Brothers
: as some of you may know, Bowser uses a spell to turn the inhabitants of the Mushroom Kingdom into stones, bricks, and plants, and he kidnaps Princess Peach because she has the power to change them back. However, in the manual, it is said that she can do this because she has the power to lift the spell; in the doujinshi, the writer has a Magikoopa explain that Princess Peach has the ability to undo things and return them to its original state because she has a regenerating ability... which can then be promptly used to restore her injuries, including her virginity. All I can say is wow: I didn't expect another bit of the lore to sneak its way on here all of a sudden. I mean, the part of her being broken because she's been kidnapped and raped so many times is one thing I've seen before (tag: mind break), but to tie in her "magical" abilities back into the porn story? Now that's attention to detail!
I never realized how scary Mario coming out a pipe could actually be...
As you could probably surmise, once Bowser is finished, he lets his Koopalings partake the princess for themselves (because, hey, what's one more group scene at this point in the story?). As they start enjoying her body, they see that one of the Toad they've been keeping hostage (isn't he supposed to be in another castle somewhere, ruining Mario's day?) is starting to get excited seeing Peach in this way, so they decide to include him in the fun as well before tossing Peach into the dungeon... to have more sex. At this point, they start to treat her like a dog, even putting a leash on her neck for good measure... If you seen humiliation porn before, you can kind of already guess what happened, so I won't describe it (it's actually rather tame)... but honestly, I kind of figured Bowser would do something like this (if it wasn't for his later, goofier appearances), so I'm not surprised it took a turn this way. However, good always defeats evil, so, out of nowhere, Mario comes out of a pipe and rescues the princess... only for her to excitedly wonder when the next issue of this doujinshi to be released so she can get kidnapped again.
I'm not sure if the series continued or not, but as far as I know, and as far as this particular blog is concerned, it stops here (I'll see if there's a sequel or something, and get back to you). Now, this isn't the only
Nintendo-based doujinshi I want to talk about (and certainly not the only one based in the Super Mario Brothers
franchise), but as you can see, this was a pretty long read, and I feel like too much of a good thing (porn) isn't all that it's cracked up to be. I have to say, for at least trying to tie the games together, and for the references all around, this is actually one of the more interesting doujinshi out there: I actually had to look up some of the games I've never, or barely, played just so I knew what the author was trying to reference (so, yes, I actually did some
research in the making of this blog)!
Anyways, as always, thank you for reading. I hope you were fascinated as I was, and if you have any suggestions on series, reading recommendations, or questions and queries, be sure to leave them in the comments and I'll check them out!
- "Petals dance for our valediction and synchronize to your frozen pulsation...
Swirling wind sings for our reunion and 9.8 is my acceleration." - Mili
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