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LONG BLOG

Hey, Dtoid! Here's 5 (More) Things about me! (NSFW)

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Hi there, it's your ol' pal Dreamweaver here to do a "5 (More) Things About Me!" blog! Because hey, that's what everyone else is doing, right? Following the hip new trend?

...Why are you looking at me like that? Oh, I get it: it's because I only have 5 things instead of 10, isn't it? Well, truth be told, it was originally supposed to be 10 things, but I got a little carried away with some subjects more than others, so I figured that I would just cut out five and give me more room present my favorites ones. And yes, more than half of them are sexual. So, let's get started!

Well, I mean, I'll be getting started, since all you'll be doing is reading. It's not like you have any questions to ask me or anything!

1 - I love the way cities look at night

I see Occams asking this question to everyone (on random blogs), so I just want to mention what my favorite time of the day is: the night. For some reason, it's like the evening has a certain kind of charm to it. It's both quiet and serene, yet somehow still the perfect atmosphere for partying. And the darkness helps bring out a city's beauty: there's hardly anything more I like to do when I want to relax or get inspired than to look pictures of urban environments at night when all the neon lights are on, especially plazas and malls. Seriously, I wish I lived in a city with a view so I could just sit somewhere and watch cars drive by like fish in a river stream.

In videogames, if there's a controllable day-night system, then I always go out of my way to change it to nighttime. In fact, every chance I could, I always sleep when it's daytime in Grand Theft Auto V so I could tackle the missions at night. This actually helps make some missions feel even better, like the one where Franklin and Lamar escape from the police raiding a warehouse, or when they go into Grove Street to do a drug deal. I especially do the same for Sleeping Dogs since it's very clad in neon. It's a pretty annoying ritual to do though, and I just wish there was an "always nighttime" cheat code I could do instead. This is actually why I really like Saints Row IV's virtual recreation of Steelport: as much as people complained about it only taking place at night, I thought it was awesome to always see it set to my favorite time of day.

I always wished to make videogames. Although I don't see that ever happening, there's one title I wanted to make if I ever got the chance. It was basically an "anime open world", kind of like Yakuza (I never played it though) with a mix of Jet Set Radio Future. It basically stars a character with amensia (I know, so original, right?) who joins a rebellion fighting against a band of government contracted mercenaries placing the city on lockdown. While I won't bore you with details, the entire game takes place on an eternal night, and the character would travel around with these neon-lit roller blades that streaks light when they grind by. I wanted to combine the addicting method of travel from JSRF with an open city to explore, and the reason they use neon roller skates is because it supposed to be kind of like a "look coppers, I'm having fun, COME AND CATCH ME" type of attitude these characters possess. There's also more details I would love to talk about one day, but that deserves its own blog.

2 - Pixie and Luna

To either Pixie the Fairy or Luna Sy: if you stopped by this blog, you should probably skip over this section right now before you read anything you may regret... like how I had an AWESOME THREESOME SEX DREAM WITH YOU TWO.

I'm sorry, caps lock was on and I forgot to untoggle that. And I somehow turned the bold text on even though you kinda can't do it on accident. Oh well, what's done is done, and it's not like I can delete text. Trust me, I tried.

But it's kinda true, I did have a sex dream with these girls (well, actually, I'm not even sure Luna is a girl, but that doesn't matter). I mean, technically, I had sex with their avatars, so really I had slept wth Pixie's Pixie from Shin Megami Tensei games, and that one girl from Pokemon that Luna rocks whose name I can't ever seem to remember despite looking at tons and tons of porn starring her. I called them by their Dtoid handles though, so it totally counts. You're probably wondering how it went. Well, "DEMANDING" more like (maybe except Luna and Pixie... but sorry, majority rules). So, the next part is completely true, save for the minor details that I can't remember because dreams.

Okay, so me and Luna was sitting on a bed in her room, and we were just hanging around like buds. Judging from the dialogue, I think we were dating, but whatever the reason, she got all horny (I like to think it's because of my swagger) and decided to get all up on me. She started kissing me on the lips and taking off my pants, but then she noticed that I stopped her. For some reason, I felt insecure about being a virgin, and I felt like I was totally gonna disappoint her. Gosh darn it, dream, DON'T BRING THAT STUFF HERE!

But then, out of frickin' nowhere, Pixie the Fairy came into the room. She tried to cheer me up by saying that I could do it, like the nice little Pixie she is. She kept encouraging me, and telling me that there's nothing to fear. However, "dream me" is a total cop-out, and kept being shy about it. Eventually, she told me the truth, that she apparently needed me lose my virginity because she needed to do something with it. I don't recall exactly what it was, but considering Pixie the Fairy's obsession with SMT games, I'm going to assume not very good.

So, anyway, Pixie was very adamant about me going through with it, and was willing to help me... by growing a big penis to take Luna from behind with. I can't remember HOW that was supposed to assist me, and believe me, I'm still trying (why didn't she just give ME the big penis?)... but we ended up sandwiching Luna. One part I DID remember was that I kept staring at Pixie's face for some reason, then Luna gave me that "bitch, who the hell you looking at?" look her old avatar used to have because it was an exact replica of their images.

Anyway, like every other part of the dream, the ending was foggy, but what did happen was we came inside Luna and then we all laughed about it as we sat on the bed together. Not in a "haha, Dreamweaver was so sucky in bed" kind of way (I want to believe at least "dream me" was a stud), but more like a "we had a hell of a good time" giggle. That's more or less where the dream ended, which I'm kinda glad, because I'm sure Pixie would've summoned, like, a giant demon to eat my penis or something. I can never tell what goes on in that head of hers. Luna also kinda scares me, but it might be the aggressive looking avatar.

3 - Pegging, not to be confused with PEGI

You know, if Pixie the Fairy had given LUNA the giant penis, I'd actually be okay with it. Not because I think Luna would totally rock the dick (I'm not sure if that's, like, an insult to chicks), but because I would kinda like to pegged.

Pegging is the sexual act of a woman wearing a strap-on having anal intercourse with a man. In order words, she makes him her bitch. I mean, I really don't understand my fascination with it, but for some reason, I really, really want that. I want for a woman to make me lick the strap-on, telling me I better do a good job getting it wet, before pushing me over and ramming it into me. Hard. I also want to cry out in pain, and that she keeps telling me I better learn to take it because she's going to do this all night.

I don't know why but I get, like, the butterflies in my stomach thinking about it. If this was an anime, my heart be thumping and a blush be spread across my face. I don't know why, but I feel oddly interested in getting something shoved inside him. Though even if she's the one with the penis, I also want it to be missionary sex so I can see her face when she penetrates me, maybe she'll even lean over to reward me with a kiss on the lips. Or punish me by strangling my neck. Either or works.

4 - I need the romance

Don't get me wrong, it's not like I can't be aggressive or take charge myself. It's just... there's kind of the duality to me, like sometimes I get really hyper and need to see people fucking like horny sluts. I even have a select collection of images just for that, like this one of Palutena where she's spreading a gaping orifice big enough for someone to coat the inside her rear with cum without actually touching her anal rectum (we'll get to my gallery of Palutena tips one day). But then sometimes, I like to feel the romance. For example, if you recall from my last Cblog Recaps, I mentioned that I have a crush on Ravager from Teen Titans Go! However, I can't JUST tug it to her... I need a romantic setup. So, peep this:

Before I can... you know, I like to imagine we went on a date. So one night, she'd knock against my window and I'd open it for her. Instead of coming in, she sits on the window sill (she seems like the type) and asks me if I wanna hang. I tell her that it's late out, but she's all like "it's NEVER too late", then calls me a pussy if I don't. I don't want to be a pussy (which is funny considering what I said in section 3) so, giving into peer pressure, I decide to go with her. Since it's late, I don't know what there is to do, so I ask her what she has in mind, and she says she wants to play some videogames. I said we could've done that at home, but she wants to head to the mall's arcade. I tell her that it's gonna be closed, but she insists on going.

So we go there and we see that I was right: it was locked. She then takes out a sword, slash down the door, then answers back with "tch, seems open to me". Then when we head inside, she turns on the power and busts the coin machine for all the monies to come out. I say that this feels wrong, but she says if I'm so scared, that I can just sit back and watch her play. Peer pressured again, I figured since I've come this far anyway, we might as well take the quarters and play some games. We have a good time, joking about high scores and how her missing eye gives me the advantage.

Of course, playing loud videogames at an arcade in the mall is bound to attract mall security. So after someone comes in and see the busted coin machines, we escape on foot. I think Ravager's either the type to ditch you or the type to not hang with you in the first place if you can't escape a simple guard... but whatever the case, my artistic intrepretation here is that she's a cool enough gal to help me out. So, we run through the mall (which is my favorite urban setting if you remember) and after we elude the guard, we kick back and laugh.

Then I be all excited because, being the goody two-shoes that I am, this was my first time breaking the law. Then Ravager turns to me and says "you wanna try something else for the first time?" (because let's be honest, she could totally tell I'm a virgin). Then she leans all up on me, and that's when we finally have sex. I'll be honest, I kinda, sorta really do need that long setup in order to really get into it. I mean, like I said back in the recap, I really like Ravager because she has an awesome personality, and I don't want to think of her as just some random lay.

5 - Porn spurs my creativity

Funny enough, this isn't the first time I've done that, which brings me to my next point: porn seems to fuel my creative passions. I don't remember if it really happened or not, but I could swear Barney from How I Met Your Mother had this idea to combine porn with motivational posters, and I have to say I agree. I mean, just take any of the typical ones, change the wording or give it a sexual allusion, and it works. Like just post a picture of an erection and say "keep it up!" Or have a nerd standing next to a porn star and say "you can do her!" You can even have a woman being gangbanged and have a line forming in the back with the words "never give up". I'd buy that!

I actually even have trouble sleeping at night unless I imagine some kind of wild porn scenario. Remember that awesome story about how a mom let her daughter throw a naked Twister party, had sex with someone in the bathroom, and then went to the living room to double penetrate herself with two dildos? I'm not even kidding when I say that (hopefully) true news article became my bedtime story for a week.

It's the reason why I like to look at adult entertainment while I'm on the computer: it help make things more fun to me and helps gets some creative juices flowing. I just... gotta be sure I don't actually get them "flowing", because then I get all sleepy and don't want to do anything.

Anyone else feeling really tired all of a sudden?

Anyway, that's it for this little personal blog about me. I hope you enjoy reading and I hope I didn't disturb you guys too much! For anyone wondering the return of my more porn-y posts, let that last image be a hint as to what's to come. Me penis. :D

- "Petals dance for our valediction and synchronize to your frozen pulsation... Swirling wind sings for our reunion and 9.8 is my acceleration." - Mili


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About Dreamweaverone of us since 12:51 AM on 08.07.2009



Destructoid Trading Card courtesy of StriderHoang!

If you want to know more about me, you can check out my contribution to the "10 things about ourselves" blog, that Mr. Andy Dixon asked us all to write as well as any other personal blogs here:

"10 Thing about Me!"

"Top 10 Favorite Videogames!

"Most Life-Changing Game"

"Top 10 Fetishes"

I also used to write blogs about videogame themed doujinshi (yes, really). There aren't many written yet, but the few that are written can be seen here. If you enjoy these, feel free to message me on any recommendations, suggestions, or if one of the images I've chosen is too naughty. :P


Part 1: Monster Hunter and Kid Icarus: Uprising

Part 2: Demons Souls and Darkstalker

Part 3: Blazblue

Part 4: Super Mario Brothers

Part 5: [email protected]

Part 6: Persona 4

Splatoon (no doujinshi)

I don't just restrict myself to videogames though!

Two Siblings - Fela Pure

The Amazing World of Gumball porn (ya, really)

The Amazing World of Gumball porn part 2: Nicole Watterson edition!

Let's get a little (gay) hentai in here (NSFW!)

I'm not horsing around, but she is! (Oh, this is totally NSFW)

Another one of Dreamweaver's fetish blogs! You know you want some! (NSFW)

I also have done a couple of Comments of the Week! Check out some of the articles here!

Comments of the Week 1 - Prototype

Comments of the Week 2 - Ready for Round 2?

Comments of the Week 3 - Rhyme for Reasons

Comments of the Week 4 - Oh, dream-maker, you heart breaker...

Comments of the Week 5 - Number 5 has arrived!

Comments of the Week 6 - Better check the clock...

Comments of the Week 7 - From out of the blue!

Comments of the Week 8 - Alive once again!

Comments of the Week 9 - Robo Revolution!

Comments of the Week 10 - Don't need no Facebook

Comments of the Week 11 - Just can't live with you

Comments of the Week 12 - Crazy creations

Comments of the Week 13 - Just another day

Comments of the Week 14 - Prototype Pt.2

Comments of the Week 15 - It was just a Tuesday edition

Comments of the Week 16 - What you've been waiting for

Comments of the Week 17 - Monday surprise

Comments of the Week 18 - Kick that candy bar, I got a bounty for y'all

Comments of the Week 19 - The "Why am I not playing Splatoon right now?" edition

Comments of the Week 20 - "What the what!?" edition

Comments of the Week 21 - This tastes funny

Comments of the Week 22 - E3 2015 Edition

Comments of the Week 23 - A little too happy

Comments of the Week 24 - Am I doing it right?

Comments of the Week 25 - Doing things in the dark

Comments of the Week 26 - What's going on over there?

Comments of the Week 27 - Go ahead. Swallow.

Comments of the Week 28 - Let's all gather 'round!

Comments of the Week 29 - Can't get it up edition

Comments of the Week 30 - Keep crushing my weiners

Comments of the Week 31 - Don't open that door!

Comments of the Week 32 - Don't be scared, come inside

Comments of the Week 33 - Don't try this at home

Comments of the Week 34 - That kid's kawaii

Comments of the Week 35 - Major... I'M BURNING UP!

Comments of the Week 36 - You have eyes. What do your eyes see?

Comments of the Week 37 - In a place they'd never look.

Comments of the Week 38 - So our country could win.

Comments of the Week 39 - It makes a man hideous.

Comments of the Week 40 - Time for a taste test.

Comments of the Week 41 - Trick or Treat edition

Comments of the Week 42 - iDroid edition

Comments of the Week 43 - Atom bomb baby, little atom bomb

Comments of the Week 44 - Shadow of the Night

Comments of the Week 45 - バーガーベスト, ですよね?

Comments of the Week 46 - The Gift of Family

Comments of the Week 47 - My Gift to You

Comments of the Week 48 - Praise the Goddess, SANTA'S COMING!

Comments of the Week 49 - CHRISTMAS is OVER? Goddess damn it!

Comments of the Week 50 - We made it!

Comments of the Week 51 - The one after the blackout

Comments of the Week 52 - MY CANDY BAR! (featuring Mike Martin)

Comments of the Week 53 - Who in the world wished for snow?

Comments of the Week 54 - You're creeping me out

Comments of the Week 55 - Love Love Love

Comments of the Week 56 - Lots of Love

Comments of the Week 57 - New look, same great taste!

Comments of the Week 58 - Better late than never

Comments of the Week 59 - The 'still a week behind' edition!

Comments of the Week 60 - Don't reach for the remote, this is not a rerun!

Comments of the Week 61 - Still trying to catch up

Comments of the Week 62 - Working overtime

Comments of the Weel 63 - You're not seeing double!

Comments of the Week 64 - The reason why I'm not playing Quantum Break right now

Comments of the Week 65 - Take a break from Dark Souls III, you earned it.

Comments of the Week 66 - Take a load off!

Comments of the Week 67 - I needs it!

Comments of the Week 68 - Now we wait for Overwatch to come out.

Comments of the Week 69 - I see what you did there.

Comments of the Week 70 - We're all soldiers now.

Comments of the Week 71 - I will be watching over you.

Comments of the Week 72 - Die... Die... DIE...

Comments of the Week 73 - Ready to go primal

Comments of the Week 74 - E3 2016 Edition

Comments of the Week 75 - Activating self-destruct sequence!

Comments of the Week 76 - The 99.537% Reality

Behind the scenes look at Comments of the Week (Also, fuck it, totally NSFW!)

And just for giggles, here's a couple of blogs that I've personally enjoyed writing myself!

Videogame references in The Amazing World of Gumball (not porn edition)!

Pokemon Rap - Dibs on Miltank

Band of Bloggers: Stories from the Capital Wasteland

A Fantasy Fulfilled: Adventuring Akihabara

Short Story: Love Over Time (videogame related)

Ice Climbers fan fiction part 1: Siblings of the Summit

Ice Climbers fan fiction part 2: Siblings of the Stadium

Ice Climber fan fiction part 3: Siblings of the Subspace
Xbox LIVE:TraitortoHeaven
PSN ID:TraitortoHeaven


 

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