It's that time again! Everyone gather around, as Dreamweaver spins you a tale of war and peace, sins and redemption, and love and lost.
Nah, I'm just kidding. It's time for Comments of the Week! Wait, you don't know what it is? This is the hottest community showcase where fellow commenters, maybe even you, get their moment to shine. Throughout the week, yours truly has been scouting out the best comments the community has to spit out, all collected right here in this nasty jar! So whether you've been on the go and couldn't slow down to read them when they appeared, or you just want to relive all of the wacky happenings again, then this is for you. As always, comments are placed into three categories for easy organization:
TRUTH: assuming you keep them in a normal environment, condoms can last up to four years.
LOL: we got a word for someone who has a condom but never used it for four years.
If you haven't read last week's edition of Comments of the Week, then you were too busy playing Dark Souls III, am I right? Well, if you still haven't beaten that jerk Pontiff, then why not take a breather and laugh before getting killed over and over again?
Dreamweaver: What's next, we need to teach fish how to swim?
Dreamweaver: Funny, this is exactly how I feel about GameStop employees in general.
But less kawaii.
Dreamweaver: Chris Carter's into some kinky stuff.
Dreamweaver: Hey, Nintendo is family friendly company! That includes the perverted ones as well.
Dreamweaver: For $100, I can get someone to play with my Little Caesar.
He likes to Rome.
Dreamweaver: Scarlett and Chase Dangerfield? That's TOO fucking awesome!
Dammit, I DEMAND you go back and make them kiss!
Dreamweaver: Just like this hooker I keep seeing.
Dreamweaver: That's how we make more amateur porn.
Dreamweaver: Orange you glad she did that?
Dreamweaver: Now let's team up and make fun of Donald Trump!
Dreamweaver: I mean, come on, learn your English!
Dreamweaver: Do we know for sure she's a woman?
Dreamweaver: This is what we call a "Gaj-good-knight!"
Dreamweaver: Cliffy B? Mo' like Edgy C!
Dreamweaver: Should've been a sunny side up detective instead.
Dreamweaver: Should've applied penis pressure instead.
Dreamweaver: It's funny because it's true!
Dreamweaver: I wouldn't be surprised if that's actually the name of another JRPG.
Dreamweaver: Unless they say "another settlement needs your help."
Then we judge them HARD.
Dreamweaver: Chris walked right into that one.
Dreamweaver: We're never letting #darksiders2 go, will we?
Dreamweaver: Tracer's got length, but Chun-Li has girth.
Dreamweaver: The crickets are possessed by ghosts!
Dreamweaver: Dang it, Dangus! Speak the president's English!
Dreamweaver: Should've walked like you were a meat suit instead.
Dreamweaver: Sounds like a low budget documentary.
Dreamweaver: Where'd the other half go?
Dreamweaver: Looks like Street Fighter V needs to take Halo 3's tagline and "Finish the Fight."
Dreamweaver: But I beat my dick constantly...
Dreamweaver: ...Then what have I've been doing for 65 weeks?
And that's it for this edition! I'd wish you the best of luck, but no one knows how to read, so I guess... Well, there's no point saying anything else, now, is there?