To all who may concern: this site has been taken over by ROBOTS.
It's horrible: it's like, all of a sudden, the people we love the most are the ones with all the power.
Occams is a robot with a beard of cats!
The Great Fairy Pixielated is a robot with wings!
I say, I repeat, I say Isay Isay is a robo-rooster!
Mike Martin is a metal mech menance!
Even old granny Elsa is a robot!
Sephzilla is... exactly the same.
Anyway, as one of the survivors of the community, not enslaved by their tyrannical rule, and I'm going to chronicle what life is like in Destructoid by taking entries from people's daily lives and recording them down. As always, their testimonies will be separated into three categories...
TRUTH: TRUST NO ONE!
LOL: ROBOTS DON'T LAUGH!
WUT?: WILL WE DO NOW?
How did things come to this? I remember when things were so peaceful last week with tater tot rain and an awesome rap battle against Kim Jong Il... two miracles I never thought would happen in the same week.
Dreamweaver: At least it appeals to Destructoid just by having balls!
Dreamweaver: I didn't expect that: why would you ever want to STOP?
Dreamweaver: I don't blame you: it's TOO TEMPTING!
Dreamweaver: You could, but it's gonna be much more expensive to replace.
Dreamweaver: I prefer fake breasts to a flat chest!
Dreamweaver: ...Nah, man, too easy for me.
Dreamweaver: Never gets old!
Dreamweaver: Better late than never!
Dreamweaver: She'll give in - who could resist someone as sexy as you?
Dreamweaver: But squares like those would put companies in Jeopardy!
Dreamweaver: That's a burn.
Dreamweaver: I can't remember what I did last summer.
Dreamweaver: Believe in the dicks: they only point to the future.
Dreamweaver: That's pretty fucked up in my opinion.
Dreamweaver: Girls dig a guy who's honest! ...Or was it "hung?"
Dreamweaver: So this is what "puking your guts out" looks like!
Dreamweaver: Guess he couldn't stomach it. Also, your avatar is just perfect.
Dreamweaver: Meaning's entirely different when you're a robot!
Dreamweaver: Open your mouth wide, let me see how big your mouth is!... Yes, I did just quote a Big Sean/ Calvin Harris song.
Dreamweaver: The reason why this is in "LOL" and not "Truth" is because it's laughable how simply not true that statement is. French fries for life! Only a robot without one would say otherwise!
Dreamweaver: Here's looking at you, kid!
Dreamweaver: The money or the well?
Dreamweaver: That's what you get for "dragon" it on for that long!
Dreamweaver: No joke, I actually know a hentai by that same name! ...Yes, it has brother-sister incest!
Dreamweaver: Only a robot could make a pun like that!
Dreamweaver: At least you didn't lose your head!
Dreamweaver: You think he made all those by hand?
Dreamweaver: I think I know what a backstab in this scenario would be!
Dreamweaver: I can't top that.
Dreamweaver: That's what we thought. But then...
Dreamweaver: Implying bears wears clothes in the first place.
Dreamweaver: I don't want to think when I watch porn: the blood's in a DIFFERENT head!
Dreamweaver: Man, if I was alive before I was conceived, I'd totally impregnant my mom. If I do it now, it'd just be weird.
Dreamweaver: And I thought I saw everything.
From Best $5 ever spent!!
Dreamweaver: Lube? As in for MACHINES? Now I know how to stop one of the metal bastards...
Dreamweaver: ...Do I want you to clarfiy what you meant by "worked fast"?
Dreamweaver: #WetDreamweaver a.k.a. best Dreamweaver!
Dreamweaver: The last three minutes of my porn videos usually ends with the girl telling me how bad I should feel for cumming in the first 10 seconds.
Dreamweaver: ...That just happened.
Shoot, I transmitted for too long: they're on to me! I must escape today, but hopefully I can stay alive long enough to bring you another edition! Remember: it's up to YOU to keep this community alive by being your wacky-ass selves!