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LONG BLOG

Comments of the Week - My Gift to You

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Don't you just love December? This month is so chockful of holiday cheer that any negativity will be considered a threat to Santa Claus. So, you there, with the frowny face! You better get into the spirit of the season or I'm going to shove magic down your mouth hole so hard that you'd feel it in your stomach like a sinking stone on a babbling brook!

Oh, threats won't work on you? Well, that's fine. I also know how to play "good cop." So maybe you're glum because someone took the last Bostom Creme donut at Krispy Kremes. That's okay, because I brought something to cheer you up! Voila! This week's Comments of the Week! You look like you need a laugh (you frowny-faced bastard) so why not catch up on some of the funniest things that happened this week?

TRUTH: Comments of the Week are scientifically proven to bring joy to the holiday season.

LOL: Its funny, because it's true!

WUT?: I'm a totally legit scientist!

If you missed out last week's edition, then you'll gonna want to check it out. It has the second greatest gift of all: The Gift of Family. What's the first? Well, ME, of course! Thank Goddess for Dreamweaver.

From PSA: That clear liquid at PlayStation Experience is not breath spray

Dreamweaver: Well, that's all you need.

Dreamweaver: I don't think that applies to hydrochrolic acid, but what do I know?

From EA admits Battlefront 'may not have the depth' you want in the game

Dreamweaver: Just like me! (virgin joke T^T)

From Check out all 16 launch characters in this massive Street Fighter V trailer

Dreamweaver: Truer words have never been spoken.

From The PS4's emulated PS2 games run worse in Europe

Dreamweaver: Why do we let them help us with wars again?

From Street Fighter V has a 'Hot Package' in Japan

Dreamweaver: Street Fuckers is probably best name ever for a Street Fighters porn parody.

Dreamweaver: I can already hear the laugh track!

Dreamweaver: That's actually a picture of his mom.

From Hearthstone's 'Winter Veil' event is now underway

Dreamweaver: Amateurs. Everyone knows you snort Arcade Dust while sitting on a racing game cabinet so you have a place to lean back.

From Xbox boss is '100% committed' to keeping you engaged with Xbox consoles

Dreamweaver: That's what hookers say about me.

Dreamweaver: The same thing also applies between me and hookers.

From Hyrule Warriors Legends will have a Tamagotchi-like 'My Fairy' mechanic

Dreamweaver: If two gay men get together, does it cancel the gay or amplifies it?

Dreamweaver: Always have Boston Cream donuts. Always.

From Lots of games may have just had their Steam releases leaked

Dreamweaver: Praise the Goddess.

From Cyberpunk 2077 may be launching by the end of 2016

Dreamweaver: That's the date of the reboot.

From Review: Earth Defense Force 4.1: The Shadow of New Despair

Dreamweaver: I'd light her grill. With my penis.

From Are you okay with the Final Fantasy VII remake taking a 'multi-part' approach?

Dreamweaver: He's clearly a rooster.

From Street Fighter V's next beta period will begin next week

Dreamweaver: Cheez Whiz on burgers is nature's perfect food.

From You'll need friends to earn this cool Heroes of the Storm mount

Dreamweaver: I hear that hobo on seventh street is a level 20 paladin though.

From Windows 7 now supports the Xbox One wireless controller adapter

Dreamweaver: Clearly, we are mere mortals in his presence.

From Cave is working on a free-to-play shooter

Dreamweaver: He clearly said it slowly.

From Plants vs. Zombies: Garden Warfare 2 is still looking pretty rad

Dreamweaver: We must listen to the cock. It knows what's good for us.

From 3DS is here to stay,' says Nintendo

Dreamweaver: On one hand, at least it's a unique collection.

From Halo 5 is getting advanced control options

Dreamweaver: Don't press Doug's button, dammit!

From Final Fantasy VII Remake will be broken up into episodes

Dreamweaver: Fanta Z sounds like a line of soft drinks.

Dreamweaver: ...Coffee no nice now?

Dreamweaver: Palms.... Pixie's greatest nemesis.

From Dying Light: Enhanced Edition and The Following DLC out in February

Dreamweaver: YOU BLEW IT!

I was talking about the penis in Mike's mouth.

But yeah, he also ruined the song.

From Max Payne rated for PS4, likely a PS2 emulation

Dreamweaver: OrochiLeona thought he had it all figured out. He was always thinking about revisiting the past, looking back on the adventures that he had. He hoped that he could see the glory days once more. But he'll learn that sometimes, you only get to live through something once. 

Sure, it may support Trophies for your acccomplishments, and maybe it'll run at a full 1080p, but you don't get to see it again the same way you did before. You don't get to feel the same rush you got chasing the criminal through the snowy streets of New York City like when you did it the first time. It's like shooting up the second shot of heroin. You don't feel like it's greatest thing on earth.

Instead, you feel like it's the worst thing ever. Not because of the crash, the puking of blood, or even the infection from the dirty ass syringe you found in a dumpster. No, the worst part of spiraling into drug abuse is knowing that you will never get the same high as your first round, and yet you'll still chase after it like fools who chase the end of a rainbow.

Don't do it, OrochiLeona. You'll never find that pot of gold.

Or whatever. "I'm not your mom," I'd say, as I down another shot of strawberry milk.

From Fallout 4 looks right at home with an isometric camera

Dreamweaver: ...Uh, y-yeah, man, EVERYONE who had sex knows that!

From The Witcher 3's second expansion looks lovely

Dreamweaver: That's, like, the start of an awesome story right there.

Dreamweaver: He saw a lot of things, but nothing will prepare him for that.

From Review: SteamWorld Heist

Dreamweaver: He calls his friend, Harry Potter, to make it for him.

From Nominees for Destructoid's Best Vita Game of 2015

Dreamweaver: Or maybe... Occams WAS the one who cancelled Constantine!

From Nominees for Destructoid's Best Mobile Game of 2015

Dreamweaver: ...Did you drink any?

Dreamweaver: I never get the high score.

From LucasFilms president: 'We're spending a lot of time looking at' Star Wars 1313

Dreamweaver: Huh, I always thought God would be Matt Damon. Now I know nothing about life.

Well, that's it for this edition! As always, I hope you enjoyed your stay here!

At least more than that other guy. Nothing ever impresses that bastard.

- "Petals dance for our valediction and synchronize to your frozen pulsation... Swirling wind sings for our reunion and 9.8 is my acceleration." - Mili


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About Dreamweaverone of us since 12:51 AM on 08.07.2009



Destructoid Trading Card courtesy of StriderHoang!

If you want to know more about me, you can check out my contribution to the "10 things about ourselves" blog, that Mr. Andy Dixon asked us all to write as well as any other personal blogs here:

"10 Thing about Me!"

"Top 10 Favorite Videogames!

"Most Life-Changing Game"

"Top 10 Fetishes"

I also used to write blogs about videogame themed doujinshi (yes, really). There aren't many written yet, but the few that are written can be seen here. If you enjoy these, feel free to message me on any recommendations, suggestions, or if one of the images I've chosen is too naughty. :P


Part 1: Monster Hunter and Kid Icarus: Uprising

Part 2: Demons Souls and Darkstalker

Part 3: Blazblue

Part 4: Super Mario Brothers

Part 5: [email protected]

Part 6: Persona 4

Splatoon (no doujinshi)

I don't just restrict myself to videogames though!

Two Siblings - Fela Pure

The Amazing World of Gumball porn (ya, really)

The Amazing World of Gumball porn part 2: Nicole Watterson edition!

Let's get a little (gay) hentai in here (NSFW!)

I'm not horsing around, but she is! (Oh, this is totally NSFW)

Another one of Dreamweaver's fetish blogs! You know you want some! (NSFW)

I also have done a couple of Comments of the Week! Check out some of the articles here!

Comments of the Week 1 - Prototype

Comments of the Week 2 - Ready for Round 2?

Comments of the Week 3 - Rhyme for Reasons

Comments of the Week 4 - Oh, dream-maker, you heart breaker...

Comments of the Week 5 - Number 5 has arrived!

Comments of the Week 6 - Better check the clock...

Comments of the Week 7 - From out of the blue!

Comments of the Week 8 - Alive once again!

Comments of the Week 9 - Robo Revolution!

Comments of the Week 10 - Don't need no Facebook

Comments of the Week 11 - Just can't live with you

Comments of the Week 12 - Crazy creations

Comments of the Week 13 - Just another day

Comments of the Week 14 - Prototype Pt.2

Comments of the Week 15 - It was just a Tuesday edition

Comments of the Week 16 - What you've been waiting for

Comments of the Week 17 - Monday surprise

Comments of the Week 18 - Kick that candy bar, I got a bounty for y'all

Comments of the Week 19 - The "Why am I not playing Splatoon right now?" edition

Comments of the Week 20 - "What the what!?" edition

Comments of the Week 21 - This tastes funny

Comments of the Week 22 - E3 2015 Edition

Comments of the Week 23 - A little too happy

Comments of the Week 24 - Am I doing it right?

Comments of the Week 25 - Doing things in the dark

Comments of the Week 26 - What's going on over there?

Comments of the Week 27 - Go ahead. Swallow.

Comments of the Week 28 - Let's all gather 'round!

Comments of the Week 29 - Can't get it up edition

Comments of the Week 30 - Keep crushing my weiners

Comments of the Week 31 - Don't open that door!

Comments of the Week 32 - Don't be scared, come inside

Comments of the Week 33 - Don't try this at home

Comments of the Week 34 - That kid's kawaii

Comments of the Week 35 - Major... I'M BURNING UP!

Comments of the Week 36 - You have eyes. What do your eyes see?

Comments of the Week 37 - In a place they'd never look.

Comments of the Week 38 - So our country could win.

Comments of the Week 39 - It makes a man hideous.

Comments of the Week 40 - Time for a taste test.

Comments of the Week 41 - Trick or Treat edition

Comments of the Week 42 - iDroid edition

Comments of the Week 43 - Atom bomb baby, little atom bomb

Comments of the Week 44 - Shadow of the Night

Comments of the Week 45 - バーガーベスト, ですよね?

Comments of the Week 46 - The Gift of Family

Comments of the Week 47 - My Gift to You

Comments of the Week 48 - Praise the Goddess, SANTA'S COMING!

Comments of the Week 49 - CHRISTMAS is OVER? Goddess damn it!

Comments of the Week 50 - We made it!

Comments of the Week 51 - The one after the blackout

Comments of the Week 52 - MY CANDY BAR! (featuring Mike Martin)

Comments of the Week 53 - Who in the world wished for snow?

Comments of the Week 54 - You're creeping me out

Comments of the Week 55 - Love Love Love

Comments of the Week 56 - Lots of Love

Comments of the Week 57 - New look, same great taste!

Comments of the Week 58 - Better late than never

Comments of the Week 59 - The 'still a week behind' edition!

Comments of the Week 60 - Don't reach for the remote, this is not a rerun!

Comments of the Week 61 - Still trying to catch up

Comments of the Week 62 - Working overtime

Comments of the Weel 63 - You're not seeing double!

Comments of the Week 64 - The reason why I'm not playing Quantum Break right now

Comments of the Week 65 - Take a break from Dark Souls III, you earned it.

Comments of the Week 66 - Take a load off!

Comments of the Week 67 - I needs it!

Comments of the Week 68 - Now we wait for Overwatch to come out.

Comments of the Week 69 - I see what you did there.

Comments of the Week 70 - We're all soldiers now.

Comments of the Week 71 - I will be watching over you.

Comments of the Week 72 - Die... Die... DIE...

Comments of the Week 73 - Ready to go primal

Comments of the Week 74 - E3 2016 Edition

Comments of the Week 75 - Activating self-destruct sequence!

Comments of the Week 76 - The 99.537% Reality

Behind the scenes look at Comments of the Week (Also, fuck it, totally NSFW!)

And just for giggles, here's a couple of blogs that I've personally enjoyed writing myself!

Videogame references in The Amazing World of Gumball (not porn edition)!

Pokemon Rap - Dibs on Miltank

Band of Bloggers: Stories from the Capital Wasteland

A Fantasy Fulfilled: Adventuring Akihabara

Short Story: Love Over Time (videogame related)

Ice Climbers fan fiction part 1: Siblings of the Summit

Ice Climbers fan fiction part 2: Siblings of the Stadium

Ice Climber fan fiction part 3: Siblings of the Subspace
Xbox LIVE:TraitortoHeaven
PSN ID:TraitortoHeaven


 

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