Welcome back to Comments of the Week! As you're all probably aware by now, this is a community showcase where I scour articles to find the best comments said by members of the site such as yourself. So, whether you've been down and out, too busy, or simply want to catch up on what was said while you weren't here, then this is for you. As always, comments will be placed into three categories:
TRUTH: In some places, it is illegal to carry an ice cream come in your back pocket.
LOL: Why is that even a rule?
WUT?: Everyone keeps ice cream cones in their front pockets, duh.
If you missed last week's E3 edition, it's not to late to check it out! However, like penises, this edition will seem a LOT shorter in comparison, so unless size doesn't matter (bwahahahahaha!), maybe go visit the link after reading through this one.
Dreamweaver: Ya damn right, he is!
Dreamweaver: The dragon's actually a penis.
Dreamweaver: Well, that escalated quickly.
Dreamweaver: That's what he calls his legs.
Dreamweaver: These are dark times indeed.
Dreamweaver: I know, right? The heck's wrong with y'all, playing with microphones like that?
Dreamweaver: When will it end!?
Dreamweaver: Another reason to emphasis "bring your own controller" nights.
Dreamweaver: I can't even front, I would literally cheer in a theatre if I saw that.
Dreamweaver: To be fair, 97.69% of the people in that position would probably doom us all anyway.
Dreamweaver: Nailed it. With my meaty oar.
Dreamweaver: The night isn't silent. The night is when people have sex, and porn taught me that if sex is quiet, someone is doing something wrong.
Dreamweaver: Porn is the necessity of life. That's how we can put up having sex with ugly people.
Dreamweaver: In related news, Mothra was seen returning to the home of crazed amiibo fanatic ChillyBilly, who was quoted whilst petting the monster's head "if I can't have the amiibos right now, NO ONE can!"
Dreamweaver: Brazzers? Mo like bro-zzers!
Dreamweaver: I don't know what the heck happened here, but I quite possibly like it.
Dreamweaver: I'd take a bite outta that crime!
Dreamweaver: That's what I tried telling my parents about my report card with all F's.
Dreamweaver: He wasn't asking.
Dreamweaver: This carp is angry, y'all!
Dreamweaver: You can't top that.
Dreamweaver: Well, lefty loosey, right tighty.
Dreamweaver: How did we not see this before!?
Dreamweaver: Have you tried Sudoku? It's a lot like killing yourself.
Dreamweaver: "The fuck it isn't." - Andy Dixon.
Dreamweaver: But who's the father!? This is SO going to be on Jerry Springer.
Dreamweaver: "guitar gently strumming..." That's a penis joke, isn't it?
Dreamweaver: I like to think every time I masturbate, there's a hot chick in the world masturbating at the same time, so we're having some cosmic sex.
Then I'd finish first and she'll feel inexplicitly disappointed for some reason.
Dreamweaver: I'm still trying to figure out if he's tilting his head to the left or the right... or not at all.
Dreamweaver: That's creepy on 27 levels, yet arousing on 32 levels.
Dreamweaver: You didn't want to anyway.
Dreamweaver: Well, what else is a Vita good for? :3
Dreamweaver: I can't even come up with a joke to top that.
So I guess Occams wins this round! Tune in next time, maybe I will succeed where others have failed!