Comments of the Week - A little too happy

Welcome back to Comments of the Week! As you're all probably aware by now, this is a community showcase where I scour articles to find the best comments said by members of the site such as yourself. So, whether you've been down and out, too busy, or simply want to catch up on what was said while you weren't here, then this is for you. As always, comments will be placed into three categories:

TRUTH: In some places, it is illegal to carry an ice cream come in your back pocket.

LOL: Why is that even a rule?

WUT?: Everyone keeps ice cream cones in their front pockets, duh.

If you missed last week's E3 edition, it's not to late to check it out! However, like penises, this edition will seem a LOT shorter in comparison, so unless size doesn't matter (bwahahahahaha!), maybe go visit the link after reading through this one.

From Half-Life and Hotline Miami mashup Half-Line Miami coming soon

Dreamweaver: Ya damn right, he is!

From Eurocage: Heavy Rain, Beyond: Two Souls coming to PS4

Dreamweaver: The dragon's actually a penis.

From Fallout 4 'dialing back' graphics, runs at 1080p/30fps

Dreamweaver: Well, that escalated quickly.

From Shenmue 3 needs $10 million for a true open world

Dreamweaver: That's what he calls his legs.

From You can easily cut off content in Deus Ex: Mankind Divided

Dreamweaver: These are dark times indeed.

From Bungie gets salty defending Destiny's expansion price

Dreamweaver: I know, right? The heck's wrong with y'all, playing with microphones like that?

From Standalone PS1-style DualShock 4 out this September

Dreamweaver: When will it end!?

Dreamweaver: Another reason to emphasis "bring your own controller" nights.

From Dwayne Johnson is doing a Rampage movie

Dreamweaver: I can't even front, I would literally cheer in a theatre if I saw that.

From 999 and Zero Escape writer's new game coming to PS4, Vita

Dreamweaver: To be fair, 97.69% of the people in that position would probably doom us all anyway.

Dreamweaver: Nailed it. With my meaty oar.

From Arkham Knght's gude mght have made a spellng mstake

Dreamweaver: The night isn't silent. The night is when people have sex, and porn taught me that if sex is quiet, someone is doing something wrong.

From Nintendo is making it harder to get around Miiverse account restrictions

Dreamweaver: Porn is the necessity of life. That's how we can put up having sex with ugly people.

From Yoshi's Woolly World amiibo allocation hits a bump in France

Dreamweaver: In related news, Mothra was seen returning to the home of crazed amiibo fanatic ChillyBilly, who was quoted whilst petting the monster's head "if I can't have the amiibos right now, NO ONE can!"

From Nintendo announced a new Metroid so we gave Zack a haircut

Dreamweaver: Brazzers? Mo like bro-zzers!

Dreamweaver: I don't know what the heck happened here, but I quite possibly like it.

From This will be a nice eulogy for Batman if he dies in Arkham Knight

Dreamweaver: I'd take a bite outta that crime!

From Warner Bros. strikes again: Batman: Arkham Knight having issues on PC

Dreamweaver: That's what I tried telling my parents about my report card with all F's.

From GameStop opens up sales for 'retro classics'

Dreamweaver: He wasn't asking.

From More Fallout 4 Pip-Boy editions are on sale at Amazon!

Dreamweaver: This carp is angry, y'all!

From Batman: Arkham Knight sales stopped on Steam

Dreamweaver: You can't top that.

From XCOM 2's mission gameplay looks gooooood

Dreamweaver: Well, lefty loosey, right tighty.

From Review: Batman: Arkham Knight

Dreamweaver: How did we not see this before!?

From Surprise! Nomura didn't know he was directing Final Fantasy VII remake

Dreamweaver: Have you tried Sudoku? It's a lot like killing yourself.

From Friday Night Fights - Today is Awesome

Dreamweaver: "The fuck it isn't." - Andy Dixon.

From Everything is your dad in the new Dad by the Sword trailer

Dreamweaver: But who's the father!? This is SO going to be on Jerry Springer.

From The most unrealistic thing that has ever happened in a video game

Dreamweaver: "guitar gently strumming..." That's a penis joke, isn't it?

From NIS gets creepy with new teaser

Dreamweaver: I like to think every time I masturbate, there's a hot chick in the world masturbating at the same time, so we're having some cosmic sex.

Then I'd finish first and she'll feel inexplicitly disappointed for some reason.

From You drank our milkshake: Dtoid.com E3 stats

Dreamweaver: I'm still trying to figure out if he's tilting his head to the left or the right... or not at all.

From Sticking a Morpheus on my face was pretty cool

Dreamweaver: That's creepy on 27 levels, yet arousing on 32 levels.

From Which VR headset will win? Porn has already decided

Dreamweaver: Occums.

From Review: The Controller Shop custom DualShock 4

Dreamweaver: You didn't want to anyway.

Dreamweaver: Well, what else is a Vita good for? :3

From Introducing the Xbox One for women

Dreamweaver: I can't even come up with a joke to top that.

So I guess Occams wins this round! Tune in next time, maybe I will succeed where others have failed!

- "Petals dance for our valediction and synchronize to your frozen pulsation... Swirling wind sings for our reunion and 9.8 is my acceleration." - Mili

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