Comments of the Week 71 - I will be watching over you.

Welcome back to Comments of the Week, I'm your host, Dreamweaver, here with the latest and greatest comments of last week. If you're new in town and you want to get down with some of the community members here, but you don't know who gets your panties wet, then this is the perfect showcase of all of the crazy personalities that you can find around here. Seriously, we're not ALL bad-looking (you know which ones you are). As always, comments are categories into three special little groups:

TRUTH: the word "jerky" originated from the Native American food "charqui", which means "to burn meat."

LOL: and here I thought it was from "jerking your penis until it's dried up."

WUT?: that... that's not actually possible, is it?

If you haven't met the fine folks who were featured before, then why not check out last week's edition to see if they look familiar? Who knows, maybe you had a drunken one-night-stand and the sex was so horrible that your brain has to block out what happened.

I swear, it only happened three times. 

From Please sign my petition instead

Dreamweaver: Isn't that what we call Destructoid?

From Blizzard made fan art of a kid's Overwatch original character

Dreamweaver: Logic checks out. I get sex ed from flash porn games.

From Playtonic confirms playable Yooka-Laylee demo, but no release date yet

Dreamweaver: Are the pigs actual pigs, or slutty daughters? Because either way, I'm porking them.

From Overwatch's microtransaction prices have been revealed

Dreamweaver: "Live life like lightning and crash like thunder."

So... like how I perform in bed?

From Here's what happened in the community for April!

Dreamweaver: Yeah, but that what makes us kawaii, bitches.

From Review: Kirby: Planet Robobot

Dreamweaver: Every bedroom should have a robot for this very purpose.

From Horizon Zero Dawn looms as E3 posters unfurl across LA

Dreamweaver: You don't have to convince me, I already want to sleep with her.

From Review: The Witcher 3: Wild Hunt - Blood and Wine

Dreamweaver: Well, now you sound like my ex-wife.

From The Crew hits five million players

Dreamweaver: So that's why the cops are always chasing them.

From No Man's Sky has reportedly been delayed

Dreamweaver: Can you at least get naked under the blanket? That's how I prefer to wander the galaxy.

Showing my gala-assy.

From Imagine being the first guy in the hole

Dreamweaver: The name of the sequel to an ebony gangbang porno?

Dreamweaver: False advertising: he's facing in front of the camera.

From Man beaten with own leg in Deus Ex ad

Dreamweaver: Stahp.

Dreamweaver: But if it's actually foreplay?

From Amazon really wants to get rid of these Xbox Ones

Dreamweaver: (Shoku)boo!

Dreamweaver: We'll never know, rappa.

From Ex-employee sues Valve for $3.1m in damages

Dreamweaver: I got something that starts with a 3 I can give her.

It's a 3 inch penis.

Dreamweaver: Do you know vaginas can actually generate steam?

Just.. just thought I'd like to share that.

From Goat Simulator takes to space

Dreamweaver: ...NOW I get it!

From Cyberpunk 2077 won't be making it to E3

Dreamweaver: What my sister said after I knocked her up.

From Celebrating #PutButtsInAVideoGameTitle

Dreamweaver: Haha... 69 upvotes.

From WayForward's April Fools joke 'Cat Girl without Salad' now a reality

Dreamweaver: So a cooking simulator?

Dreamweaver: What phatons? Chris Carter is clearly a robot.

Dreamweaver: Holmes get all the honeys.

Dreamweaver: Dammit, won't someone think of the cat girl!?

From Gravity Rush 2 is still real, and it's spectacular looking

Dreamweaver: We should listen to him, he has TWO monocles.

From Soldier is the star of Overwatch's newest short

Dreamweaver: I hope the crayon's green.

From The beautiful Monster Hunter Online is getting an English patch on May 30

Dreamweaver: Do you have a race car bed? Because that'll probably convince him to come back.

From I'm not sure about Below, but it's pretty

Dreamweaver: Occams is clearly having a conundrum.

From Warcraft movie reviews are not great so far

Dreamweaver: That's one way to spend Christmas.

Dreamweaver: He's gonna use that same joke for a StarCraft movie.

From Nintendo Download: StarTropics

Dreamweaver: Dang it, Dangus! Stop fornicating that grave!

From Mighty No. 9 dev puts publisher Deep Silver on blast for latest trailer

Dreamweaver: It's clearly because when you take your dakimakura to prom, you find out she has the hots for someone else.

THAT'S why anime fans keep them locked up at home.

Dreamweaver: "At least... a real girl looked at you."

What's that like?

From Pokemon Go's US beta period begins today

Dreamweaver: Ha, loser. At least I was always picked.

To be the target.

Dreamweaver: ...Why does he need a burn heal? Are they using their mutual love of Mew (mew-tual?) as a reason to do it, and he has STDs or something?

From Square on the relief of knowing Final Fantasy XV is a true Final Fantasy

Dreamweaver: I made this comment quickly.

It isn't as funny.

From I teamed up with Teddy Roosevelt in Civilization VI and he gave me pies

Dreamweaver: I'd love to see Teddy Roosevelt in Hell's Kitchen with Gordon Ramsay.

 And that's it for this edition! I hope you found the perfect Dtoider to take home with you!

Don't forget to fap this blog if you like it, or comment about any comments I might've missed!

- "Petals dance for our valediction and synchronize to your frozen pulsation... Swirling wind sings for our reunion and 9.8 is my acceleration." - Mili

LOOK WHO CAME:

Dreamweaver   

GodEmperor Paige   24

Robo Panda Z   14

Luca Blight   11

Rad Party God   11

BruceZ   11

Gajknight   10

SirNinjaFace   10

Elsa   8

Occams   6

King Kaiser   5

GoofierBrute   4

Churros Hunter   4

James Internet Ego   4

Sharukurusu   3

DinoSir   3

JPF720   3

lewness   3

TheGentleGamer   3

Kevin Mersereau   3

Dreggsao   2

AvtrSpirit   2

Funkotrons Finest   2

EdgyDude   2

Gamemaniac3434   2

arkane9   2

Luckrequired   1

able to think   1

homeoftheblues   1

NakedBigBoss   1

Khalid Eternal Nigh   1

Fuzunga   1

C-bastion   1