Hey, what's up everybody? It's your boy, Dreamweaver! I know, I know, Overwatch is coming out soon, and you need something to do while you wait for servers to turn on. Well, then I have something for you! If you're a sexy mama — I mean "put a bun in her oven" kind of hot — then you're going to love it!
If you're not, which I'm willing to bet most of you aren't, then you'll just have to settle for another edition of Comments of the Week! This is the most awesome-est community showcase in the entire site — eat it, Cblog Recaps! — where yours truly heads out into the dangerous parts of the site, known as the "front page", to scout out the funniest comments said by community members, such as yourselves! As always, they are placed into three categories:
TRUTH: in a lighthearted survey, 43% of participants would rather eat bacon than have sex.
LOL: it's because having sex is still considered to be a workout, am I right?
WUT?: where was this survey taken, in America?
If you haven't checked out last week's edition, and you still can't bare the weight of waiting for Overwatch to come online, then why don't you check it out right here?
From Stop the presses: Someone may have figured out poise in Dark Souls III
Dreamweaver: So... like trying to understand women?
From Steam Summer Sale 2016 date leaks
Dreamweaver: Replace "games" with "hookers" and you'll have what I call a Tuesday.
From Sign up for Pokemon Go field tests
Dreamweaver: He's going to sleep with so many wives, AND have the perfect excuse.
From EB Games listing confirms Legend of Zelda...trading cards?
Dreamweaver: Apparently, so does my ex-wife who I pay alimony to.
From I think...that's it: Infinite Warfare is the 2nd-most disliked YouTube video
Dreamweaver: "In short bursts and forgotten."
So... like sex with me?
Dreamweaver: And people want to elect Donald Trump for president...
From Prima is giving away a handful of free eGuides
Dreamweaver: Gasp! Can I also use this to find porn?
From Man beats hardest Doom difficulty without dying
Dreamweaver: I choose bust.
We're talking about boobs, right?
From Destiny's next expansion Rise of Iron revealed via leak
Dreamweaver: You can't, but Bungie will.
From New Yooka-Laylee details and 'representative' screenshots
Dreamweaver: Yet your comment has more upvotes...
From Review: Langrisser Re:Incarnation Tensei
Dreamweaver: Rolls right off the tongue.
I'm talking about my penis. It's not very big.
From Someone bought an unclaimed URL from Uncharted 4
Dreamweaver: Like a cherry popper.
From Stop what you're doing and watch this R-Type animation
Dreamweaver: If it makes you feel better, for all you know, they might've grown up to be the next Hitler.
From Overwatch physical copies are coming one day early
Dreamweaver: Like sleeping with me.
From CumWizard2K14's Quickpost
Dreamweaver: That name's taken by sperm-covered lizards.
Dreamweaver: I liked CumWizard before he was cool.
From Europe is getting five more 3DS Nintendo Selects
Dreamweaver: That's not all he selects. :O
Dreamweaver: I'm going to need a location and price tag.
From Canceled Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion PSP footage surfaces
Dreamweaver: Those Bethesda bastards!
From Ghibli-like Lynn and the Spirits of Inao canceled in light of recent allegations
Dreamweaver: Get out.
From Still the best part of the new Doom
Dreamweaver: Do what I do: stick cameras in their room and hope they get naked.
From How to make your own Dark Souls Estus Flasks
Dreamweaver: Freezer? But I hardly know her!
From Overwatch parody short hilariously, terribly accurate
Dreamweaver: Replace "it" with "my virginity" and some comments becomes creepier!
From Don't forget to claim your free Shiny Yveltal in Pokemon this week
Dreamweaver: It'll still taste like chicken.
From Play a better game within Homefront: The Revolution
Dreamweaver: Probably being cloned. He really wants to be the next Chris Carter.
From CumWizard2k14's Quickpost
Dreamweaver: Depends, is your life a hentai or a comedy?
Also, I bet his face is exactly like his avatar's when he asked that.
From Call of Duty: Infinite Warfare mixes on-rails with open dog fights
Dreamweaver: Or is it too fantasy?
From Mass Effect: New Earth tickled my bum and sprayed me in the face
Dreamweaver: Winner? I hardly know her!
From Ha, the new Mario Minecraft pack is causing copyright issues on YouTube
Dreamweaver: No instant ramen? What are we, cavemen?
From So that's why staring at Tracer's legs makes me hungry
Dreamweaver: Well, waste not, want not.
From Check out this prototype for a Sonic the Hedgehog skateboarding game
Dreamweaver: Just another Tuesday in Destructoid.
And that's it for this edition! Did you have a good time? Well, at least that makes one of us.
Yeah, turns out that hot chick I mentioned before was a little TOO hot. Let's just say I picked Squirtle as my Starter. :(