Hey, what's up everybody? It's your boy, Dreamweaver! I know, I know, Overwatch is coming out soon, and you need something to do while you wait for servers to turn on. Well, then I have something for you! If you're a sexy mama — I mean "put a bun in her oven" kind of hot — then you're going to love it!
If you're not, which I'm willing to bet most of you aren't, then you'll just have to settle for another edition of Comments of the Week! This is the most awesome-est community showcase in the entire site — eat it, Cblog Recaps! — where yours truly heads out into the dangerous parts of the site, known as the "front page", to scout out the funniest comments said by community members, such as yourselves! As always, they are placed into three categories:
TRUTH: in a lighthearted survey, 43% of participants would rather eat bacon than have sex.
LOL: it's because having sex is still considered to be a workout, am I right?
WUT?: where was this survey taken, in America?
If you haven't checked out last week's edition, and you still can't bare the weight of waiting for Overwatch to come online, then why don't you check it out right here?
Dreamweaver: So... like trying to understand women?
Dreamweaver: Replace "games" with "hookers" and you'll have what I call a Tuesday.
Dreamweaver: He's going to sleep with so many wives, AND have the perfect excuse.
Dreamweaver: Apparently, so does my ex-wife who I pay alimony to.
Dreamweaver: "In short bursts and forgotten."
So... like sex with me?
Dreamweaver: And people want to elect Donald Trump for president...
Dreamweaver: Gasp! Can I also use this to find porn?
Dreamweaver: I choose bust.
We're talking about boobs, right?
Dreamweaver: You can't, but Bungie will.
Dreamweaver: Yet your comment has more upvotes...
Dreamweaver: Rolls right off the tongue.
I'm talking about my penis. It's not very big.
Dreamweaver: Like a cherry popper.
Dreamweaver: If it makes you feel better, for all you know, they might've grown up to be the next Hitler.
Dreamweaver: Like sleeping with me.
Dreamweaver: That name's taken by sperm-covered lizards.
Dreamweaver: I liked CumWizard before he was cool.
Dreamweaver: That's not all he selects. :O
Dreamweaver: I'm going to need a location and price tag.
Dreamweaver: Those Bethesda bastards!
Dreamweaver: Get out.
Dreamweaver: Do what I do: stick cameras in their room and hope they get naked.
Dreamweaver: Freezer? But I hardly know her!
Dreamweaver: Replace "it" with "my virginity" and some comments becomes creepier!
Dreamweaver: It'll still taste like chicken.
Dreamweaver: Probably being cloned. He really wants to be the next Chris Carter.
Dreamweaver: Depends, is your life a hentai or a comedy?
Also, I bet his face is exactly like his avatar's when he asked that.
Dreamweaver: Or is it too fantasy?
Dreamweaver: Winner? I hardly know her!
Dreamweaver: No instant ramen? What are we, cavemen?
Dreamweaver: Well, waste not, want not.
Dreamweaver: Just another Tuesday in Destructoid.
And that's it for this edition! Did you have a good time? Well, at least that makes one of us.
Yeah, turns out that hot chick I mentioned before was a little TOO hot. Let's just say I picked Squirtle as my Starter. :(