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The Perfect Batman Game

You mother fuckers best strap in because Imma bout to explain the absolute PIZZERFECT Batman game. Here's what you do:

First off you build you a big ass city. I think like, you get Ubisoft Montreal on this shit, because if AssCreed does somethin' good it's big ass cities. You gotta give this city a vertical edge to it though, like if I fall of a building I better french the pavement so hard we be married, ya feel?

Next up you gotta give this game a calender. This'll be like, a year in the life of batman. Call it like, Year Of The Bat, or Gotham's last Year, Or some shit. You figure that out.

and like, every day you gotta decide what you do during the day as Bruce Wayne. You gotta make deals, be slick, charismatic. Go to gallas and shit you know? And like the fucking Star Labs donates 30 Million to Wayne Industries and you got like, a new fucking jet.

And some nights you like "Hey man, I Batman'd enough. I gotta be Wayne for a bit." And like you gotta socialize. And like, you learn about shit going down at these gallas. The Penguin is grubbin' on shrimp and you learn about a big heist going down and like, alert the cops and shit.

And then like, you can be all smooth and shit. "Why hello Ms. Kyle, what are you up to tonight? Oh Ms. Ghul! I didn't expect to see you here." Be bagging broads left an' right. But like, you gots to be careful. Catwoman be all up on yo family jewels and she be smellin'm some Ghulish smells and ya'll got issues. She be stealin' yo shit, and we you need her help she be all like "Screw you Bats." Damn son.


but that's small shit. Meat of the game is when you go out on patrol. Ain't no center plot line, every game is randomized. Certain events may or may not happen on certain days. Be like, 100 quests you could possibly complete during the game but some show up some don't. EVERY PLAY IS UNIQUE DOG.

Ain't no main plot line, not at first. You on patrol you get alerts to crimes and gotta be like, detectivin' and shit. You walk across a crime scene of dead bodies and there's like, a big ol' red bat sign made a' blood. You could like, analyze some shit or beat down some witnesses. MULTIPLE PLAY STYLES YO.

Alfred be callin' you up like "Master Wayne it seems a similar crime is higlhy likely at these coordinates' and you like, walk in and OH SHIT RED HOOD SHOOTIN' UP THUGS. How you gonna handle this? Talk him down? Beat him up? take him out all silent like? IT'S YO BATMAN! YOU GON' BE ALL-STAR BATMAN, NEW W52 BATMAN, NOLAN BATMAN? YOU TELL ME!

An' like, every actions counts. You got like, a hidden moral system y'know? But this ain't Mass Effect, you can't just tap RB instead of LB during a cutscene and be a paragon. No man. You walk into a room full of thugs, take em all out, and then talk down the leader? No son. You kick his teeth in whether you like it or not. That's yo' actions taking importance. You can violent, detective, or ninja. Pick a style, stick to it.

So you gots you 100 quests to do. Some you do, some you don't. Maybe this night Scarecrow is shippin' in fear gas, but on yo next playthrough people are disappearing down at the abandoned amusement park. You be getting ready for a Joker fight, and then AW SHIT KILLER CROC IS HANGING OUT AT HIS OLD FREAK SHOW. Fuckin' curve balls son.

You out doing one quest Alfred tells you about another crime, you gotta decide which quest is more important. Paper comes out tomorrow, "CROCADILE MAN MURDERS 12 COPS IN LAST STAND" shit son.

But Gotham is alive son. You got you two meters to determine how the city reacts. Crime rate, and reputation. Yo' rep is dependent on y' actions. You be beating the shit outta thugs yo' rep ain't gonna be good. But if yo' crime rate be all low and shit folks be defendin' you. "Hey man he tough but he get results!" but like, maybe you be stealthy and you ain't got no rep. but yo crime rate still supa low. Then you be like, an urban legend. "Yo son I was mackin' on Yieesha on the dumbster behind burger shot and I saw the Batman! He ran up and smacked her ass bro!" that's what they be sayin.

Like, yo rep be representated in yo look too. You go around beating dudes up you gonna have a brawny suit and a bruised face, be all Dark kngiht Returns and shit. But you be sleek and stealthy you gonna need a beyond style suit. Got high rep and low crime maybe a brighter silver age style costume, cuz you the motherfuckin' bat.

That's what I be thinkin' anywayz. I think this be a good idea. What you think?
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About DXmagmaone of us since 7:23 PM on 03.09.2011