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LONG BLOG

The Buy it/Avoid It Report :: Issue #003

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Torchlight
Xbox LIVE Arcade

>> Youíll have to forgive me if this mini-review smells faintly of ignorance -- Iím ashamed to admit that Iíve never played a Diablo. I played a lot of Tekken in the early 2000ís and never had a decent PC. Well, regardless of my past gaming transgressions, Iím living the dream now! Torchlight is a dungeon crawler featuring randomly generated levels, endless hordes of creatures to slay, and a cubic fuckload of loot. The most welcome feature in my eyes, is the pet. As youíd expect, itíll aid in battle and can even be taught basic spells. Your furry companion also serves the wonderful purpose of being a mid-dungeon loot mule. The thought of my loyal bobcat dragging a 250 lbs sack of helms and swords all the way to town and haggling with the shopkeeper for a decent price makes me smile.

Those who are concerned about the transition from PC to console have nothing to worry about. Multiple skill load-outs can be customized and are easy to switch between. The inventory screen neatly displays your items, highlighting their statistics and effects. Deciding what to keep and what to sell is a breeze. The main hub town has a nifty enchanter dude who will add new effects to your weapons and armor for a price. With each successful enchantment however, the terrifying risk of un-enchantment grows larger. Itís a tempting system thatís burned me more than once.

BUY IT if you're tired of getting that annoying ďdisc read errorĒ message when you put Diablo II in your Xbox 360.

AVOID IT if you liken playing a PC game with a controller to masturbating with salad tongs.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

That's it for issue #003! Thanks for sticking around and reading my words. Special thanks to my friend and fellow Dtoider knutaf for proofreading these before I publish them. He protects you guys from all the grammar crimes I unknowingly commit. He's a saint!

See you guys next issue!
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About Phoustone of us since 2:05 AM on 02.11.2010

(Banner crafted by the amazing COM 01)

My name is Eric. I'm 34.
Here are some random things I'm into:

























































The Buy it/Avoid it Report - back issues
#001 - Ilomilo, Uncharted 2, Infinity Blade, Pac-Man CE DX, Battlefield BC2: Vietnam, PixelJunk Shooter
#002 - Batman: Brave & Bold, DJ Hero 2, Dead Space 2, Bionic Commando Rearmed, Marvel vs. Capcom 3, Bulletstorm
#003 - Pokemon Black/White, PixelJunk Shooter 2, Monster Tale, God of War III, BIT.TRIP RUNNER, Torchlight
#004 - Portal 2, Steel Diver, Sin & Punishment Star Successor, Pilotwings Resort, Crysis 2, Blocks That Matter
#005 - L.A. Noire, Alice Madness Returns, Resident Evil Mercenaries 3D, Shadows of the Damned
#006 - GoldenEye 007, Insanely Twisted Shadow Planet, AC: Brotherhood, Sword & Sworcery EP, Trenched
#007 - Deus Ex: Human Revolution, Jetpack Joyride, Gears of War 3, The Binding of Isaac, Renegade Ops
#008 - Dark Souls, League of Evil, Uncharted 3, Batman: Arkham City, Super Mario 3D Land
#009 - The Buy it/Avoid it Report's Awards - 2011
#010 - Spelunky, Max Payne 3, Trials Evolution, Mario Kart 7, Escape Goat
#011 - Super Hexagon, Tekken Tag Tournament 2, Lollipop Chainsaw, Mark of the Ninja

The Play it/Avoid it Report - back issues
#001 - Bioshock Infinite, Darksiders II, Dead Space 3, Far Cry 3, Sleeping Dogs, Tomb Raider
#002 - Dishonored, DKC: Tropical Freeze, Grand Theft Auto V, Legend of Zelda: Wind Waker HD, Rogue Legacy
#003 - The Binding of Isaac: Rebirth, Mario Kart 8, Middle-earth: Shadow of Mordor, Sunset Overdrive

Secret Moon Base - episodes
Subscribe on iTunes - a podcast about video games and other stuff with my pals knutaf and Occam

Spelunky HD - blogs
Mega Guide - part one
Mega Guide - part two

The Binding of Isaac - blogs
Blood, Shit and Tears - a love letter
Instruction Manual - w/ tips and tricks for beginners
Unlocking Godhead - tips for playing as The Lost

Social Network(s) - ugh
Twitter - @corduroyturtle
Xbox LIVE:Corduroy Turtle
PSN ID:Corduroy_Turtle
Steam ID:17wizards
3DS Code:4639-8962-6190


 

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