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The Groan You Hear for Miles

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CBlogs of 4.23.08 + Zimmerisms


And recap time is upon us again. Blogs were really busy for the 6 hours I was sleeping for some reason and then returned to a more reasonable pace.

OH! I know what the fucking reason was. You're all posting GTA shit up in mah cBlogs! There's so much of it that I've given all those posts their very own section in the recap. There's another reason they're on their own, though. I haven't actually read any of them. I want to go in as blind as possible on this game, so you guys are on your own. It could be porn of a furry fucking an actual, real-life dog for all I know. I've made my best guesses as to what's probably in them but I take no responsibility for RickRolls, porn or other irritations. Venture into those blogs at your own risk.

This is my last day this week, so you've all got ceark back tomorrow night. Now, the recap, Zimmerism's to follow.

*- Virtual Girl graces us with more cosplay
*- Shot Monopoly could make the game fun enough for me to play again
*- This would be my choice for the T-shirt contest
*- I can't believe I didn't get this into the recap, as it's exactly how I feel about the GTA shit on the blogs right now.

A- Are there too many limited editions? (Tamz)
M- Glitching out (SPJglitches)

C- CBlog Xbox Scavenger Hunt (Ends 4.30)
C- that audiosurf contest (Ends 5.2)
C- Does it Suck? contest (Ends 4.30)
C- Design the next Dtoid shirt
E- Sterling's entry in the t-shirt contest
E- BlackSheep shows of some t-shirt designs
E- Winner of Viewtiful Joe contest

E- Board gaming at Dexter's place this Saturday (I wish I could go)
E- Pre-party photos of the Cincinatti NARP
E- Dtoid Meet-up in NYC
F- It's Wednesday Night WarCawks!
F- European Shitty Movie Night
C- RDCarneiro going to hospital for potentially fatal surgery
C- Rio McCarthy gets tons of stuff from Dtoiders
I- This would be fail, but dude's working on Metroid SR388 and I couldn't bring myself to do it
H- Athiestium shows us her kit (I wish it were as naughty as it sounds)

N- Sam Houser's feelings on the 360
N- Audiosurf coming to XBLA? (Rumorsmashed later)
N- Daily mail bitches about video games again
N- EA bringing Monopoly to consoles
N- DMC4 was Amazon's deal of the day
N- Bikes coming to Burnout Paradise
N- More info on bikes in Burnout, screenshot of EA Monopoly, audiosurf now not coming to XBLA
N- Iron Man to appear in new Hulk game
N- Echochrome demo drops on PSN tomorrow
V- That incredibly awesome SR388 trailer that got frontpaged
V- Strange Pokemon patch makes the critters little girls in costume
V- Vid after Vid after Vid of Robo's theme (Chrono Trigger)
V- Zero Punctuation: Brawl
V- How not to sell DS units (old Nintendo ad)
T- Is Nintendo failing at marketing WiiWare?
T- The rise, fall, rise of co-op mode in gaming
T- Help Xelothath figure out what game they'll play next
T- Bunch of new Castle Crashers info
T- RJG visits Activision
T- If someone would tell me what this game is, I'd appreciate it.
T-nilcam things Ogre Battle 64 should be on VC
T- What The Sims 3 needs
T- Upcoming Gears 2 footage announced
T- Mario Kart Wii is frustrating
T- Pendleton21 remembers Zombies Ate My Neighbors
T- Did we learn to drive on racing games?
T- QA gets the short end of the stick
T- Excited for Sims 3?
T- EDS' top ten game intro levels
T- With all the retro series getting remake love, what else is deserving?
T- What would you like to see in an FPS?
T- MWKopf wants Echochrome

A- Scans of the Yggdra Union art book
F- A top ten list of anime
L- More beautiful Dtoid sonnets

R- Religion that believes in penis theft
R- Somebody else's blog you should apparently be reading
R- Jack Thompson sends letter to Take-Two chairman's mom? Par for the course, if you ask me
V- Preview of new Venture Bros season

S- We saw this Gyrostarr vid yesterday
S- Monopoly game finishes faster than you
S- I couldn't actually visit this blog for some reason, but I'm pretty sure I've seen this story a dozen times
F- Don't spam your other site here
F- Remake shitty games? You just actually said that? Really?
F- Thank you for acknowledging your fail.
F- Failure.
F- Another fail intro

IV- Intro
IV- Gameplay footage (dead link is dead)
IV- More footage
IV- Some pre-order item
IV- Info on the radio stations
IV- more leaked footage
IV- Intro again
IV- PAL version in the wild
IV- Probably commentary on the leak
IV- Footage (but it's Reaprar, so he's probably fucking with you)
IV- A live stream of footage
IV- Don't know. Don't care.
IV- More footage
IV- Likely commentary
IV- Commentary
IV- Discussion on the impact of release
IV- Pew's impressions of the PAL release
VI- Rockstar releasing GTA early due to leak?

So, I was in GameStop last night, plopping down mad cash for the Fallout 3 pre-order (Collectors edition, bitches). We walked in the door with about twenty minutes left until closing, so I was pretty sure the dude behind the counter would be pissed. I remember when I worked closing shifts in retail, the worst thing in the world was a group of people wandering in just before we lock the doors. When time came for us to ring up and leave, motherfucker would not stop talking. He kept trying to show me how large his penis was by naming voice actors from MGS (getting them wrong) and naming "obscure" Atlus titles. I suppose that's preferable to other means of showing how large your penis is, but it was still a bit annoying.

Long story short (too late!), I managed to persuade him to hook me up with the pre-order DVD for MGS4 and gave it a watch last night. If you haven't seen it yet, it's a good little overview of the whole series from its beginnings but there's some things that bother me about it.

I don't know if it's because Kojima can't make up his fucking mind or if it's because of translational issues both over time and with the production of this DVD, but I've never seen a Metal Gear retrospective that has a consistent telling of the story. I know I'm just nitpicking here, but in a story with as much scope and detail as this one, you'd think they could either get all of the story straight in the telling or (worse problem) stop fucking retconning it. I don't know which they're doing here, but it's starting to turn me off to the whole series.

Anyway, I still have a beta code for MGSO (and it's twelve digits). I can't use it, I don't want it. Somebody PM me and take the fucking thing away.

Oh, and if anybody's still sitting on the fence about getting Lost Cities on XBLA, check on Saturday for a review in my On the Table column.

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About Conrad Zimmermanone of us since 2:14 AM on 12.06.2007

An avid player of tabletop and video games throughout his life, Conrad has a passion for unique design mechanics and is a nut for gaming history. He can be heard on the comedy podcast FistShark Marketing (fistshark.com) and streams video games often on Hitbox (hitbox.tv/ConradZimmerman)

Twitter: ConradZimmerman
Jenny: 867-5309

Old Cblog Features

On the Table

RetRose Tinted

Death by Cartoon

About Rodney Dangerfield:

The mere inclusion of Rodney Dangerfield can vastly improve anything. Films, music, toasters, anything. In particular, the force of Rodney Dangerfield could elevate video games to the level in which they are accepted by the mainstream as a true art form, bringing together people of all races, creeds and tax brackets in peace and harmony.

RIP Rodney.
Xbox LIVE:Conradtoid
Mii code:1987-8471-4268-2488


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