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The Groan You Hear for Miles

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CBlogs of 4.21.08 + Zimmerisms

You know what time it is? Time to shoot up some more of that sweet, sweet recap. Ride the snake, etc. Zimmerisms regarding Rock Band follow everything else you guys have done today.

*- Quite possibly the most adorable thing I've seen all month
*- Mischief Makers deserves to be on VC and here's why
*- Game teaches about deportation issues. SPOILER: You can't win.
*- Epic game collection

S- Infinite Gold - Get your free condom here

C- CBlog Xbox Scavenger Hunt (Ends 4.31)
C- that audiosurf contest (Ends 5.2)
E- Week 9 song for the audiosurf contest

E- Recap of the DtoidLA NARP
F- PS3 Poker Night has a nice prize tonight
F- It's AMMO MOOnday, help AgentMoo test his game
C- Suggestions for the Dtoid TF2 server players
I- Hey, he actually told us a bit about himself for once

N- Metal Gear Online beta delayed
N- New this week in the EU
N- Konami registers yet another Castlevania trademark
N- GTA IV spotted in the wild
N- Sony announces on-demand video service
N- Castle Crashers update
V- Video review of the Iron Man demo
V- Halo beta videos
V- Videos of games for blowing off steam
V- TNA Impact gameplay footage
V- Terrifying video of wrestling entrances for democratic candidates
R- Mario Kart Wii
R- Link to review of River City Ransom
R- MLB '08 The Show review
R- Pro Yakyu Spirits 4
T- Should Nintendo be reimagining classic games for compilation release?
T- An AIM log about Rondo of Swords
T- Metal Gear Solid storyline getting too rediculous?
T- Post-conclusion thoughts on Folklore
T- Alone in the Dark looks hesitantly awesome
T- Bitching about Flow
T- Endorsement of the Nyko gun accessory for Wii
T- Long-overdue impressions of Orange Box
T- Ten games we'll never play
T- Reminder that Persona 3 FES releases tomorrow
T- Impressions fo the Universe at War demo
T- Butmac defends upcoming MK vs DC
T- List of 10 ten Forza 2 cars
T- Stream of consciousness about several games
T- Using 360's backwards compatibility is painful
T- The biggest drains on our gaming time
T- XBox Live woes
T- Why are fanboys the way they are?
T- Big Filth got a Wii this weekend
T- Some thoughts on EVE Online
T- Team Fortress 2 class comparisons
T- GT5 is like car porn
T- Impressions of MLB 08: The Show
T- Download interruption invalidates MGO code?
T- Games that are harder than they look
T- Concerns about microtransactions in the new Soul Calibur
T- Game without delay
T- New class to teach history of RPGs
T- Some 360 players are having trouble connecting to Live post-maintenance

A- A bunch of artwork and animations
A- That's a lot of 3D models
A- Worldwide box art for River City Ransom
A- A bored work doodle with Dtoid tinge
F- Lots of news on comic book movies
F- Blizzard says no to Boll
S- Yay for Valve plushies!

L- How to install Leopard
L- Parody song about achievement whores
R- Finding the right PSP battery can be tricky in the Philippines
R- What did you buy this week?
R- Giving awy an MGO code
R- A look at a 360 replacement case
V- Obama is a pimp, apparently
V- Presidential candidates make asses of themselves tonight on WWE
?- Something about the guitar hero website? I'm not sure.
?- It's great that you bought a 360 but it'd be nice if there were more to this story
?- I don't have a clue what this is about and I suspect that should please me

S- It's one thing to not use the search function but it's quite another when you ignore what's already in the top three stories and post it again.
S- And this one immediately following the last is double-slow, for hilarious reasons
S- Will the MGO delay get mentioned more? Find out immediately below this post
S- There's one
F- I don't like mudkips
F- Why would you promote something like this?
F- Save the whining for livejournal
F- This doesn't even qualify as a bad pun
F- You couldn't say any more about this?
F- Fail intro
F- Why, God? Why?
F- Forums

I've been playing a lot of Rock Band over the last few weeks, thanks to dvddesign's XBox Achievement Scavenger Hunt. Most people think of it as a party game, something for when you have a bunch of people over and want to have a good time playing a game together. I don't think that gives enough credit to the game, dismissing it as something for casual entertainment. I propose that Rock Band's World Tour Mode is also a fantastic simulation of what it's like to be in an actual rock band. Here are some examples of the similarities:

When you start out, the fans are the most important thing. They're propelling your band into new venues worth bigger money. Even after you start becoming proficient, you'll play small club shows just to earn more fans. Then, one day, you just don't care about them anymore. You have all you're going to ever need to assure your legendary status. Given the choice between the money and the fans, you'll choose the money every time.

There's that one song that you play really well because it's one of the first songs you ever had success with, but now you're sick of playing it. The crowd, however, always seems to want to hear it and it makes every random list and many of the pre-planned sets. You can't just drop the song completely from your repertoire, everyone expects you to play it.

When you're early in your career and get to make your own setlist, you'll pick songs that you haven't played before or other tracks just because they seem like they'd be fun to play. As your career moves on and you've played more and more shows, you won't want to make the effort any longer. You'll rely on old standbys that you know really well and doesn't require your full attention.

The constant monotony of the road can take it's toll, and some will turn to alcohol or drugs. They'll play shows in an inebrieted state, sneaking off for a beer or a toke between songs. Eventually, this will have a detrimental effect on the whole band's performance level (unless you're Shane McGowan).

The enthusiasm level of the band is at it's peak when it's first formed. The world is wide open, with many opportunities to take. It's uncertain and exhilerating. As your success level increases, you find that it's just the same grind day in and day out. At some point, you may long for the time when it was about a bunch of guys getting together to have fun playing music together. Only bands with that drive to have commercial success at the cost of their own enjoyment and at the risk of their friendships with the people closest to them become immortalized.

See? Now you too can experience the soul-crushing rigors of being in a professional rock band, without all the irritating wealth and groupies that success results in.

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About Conrad Zimmermanone of us since 2:14 AM on 12.06.2007

An avid player of tabletop and video games throughout his life, Conrad has a passion for unique design mechanics and is a nut for gaming history. He can be heard on the comedy podcast FistShark Marketing (fistshark.com) and streams video games often on Hitbox (hitbox.tv/ConradZimmerman)

Twitter: ConradZimmerman
Jenny: 867-5309

Old Cblog Features

On the Table

RetRose Tinted

Death by Cartoon

About Rodney Dangerfield:

The mere inclusion of Rodney Dangerfield can vastly improve anything. Films, music, toasters, anything. In particular, the force of Rodney Dangerfield could elevate video games to the level in which they are accepted by the mainstream as a true art form, bringing together people of all races, creeds and tax brackets in peace and harmony.

RIP Rodney.
Xbox LIVE:Conradtoid
Mii code:1987-8471-4268-2488


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