Let’s cut to the chase. I’ve decided it’s time I resign from contributing to Destructoid as a staff member. I love the community, I love the staff, and I love what I’ve been writing for the site, but this is a decision I should make sooner rather than later. This must come off as a very sudden decision considering everything I was saying to hype up my return to form earlier. I want to explain why.
I took my sabbatical from writing for Destructoid at the start of August because I’ve been feeling burned out on writing for the site. I constantly longed to work on other ideas, I felt little passion for continuing to write video game articles, and I had a lot less free time than I did when I first started writing for the site (I say as if I thought that last point would change by the end of my break). At the time I thought the first two points were mostly a side effect of the last point, but when I was briefly hired at a full-time job located farther from home than my current full-time job, I didn’t have this problem. After reflecting on this, I’ve come to a conclusion.
I don’t think my main reasons for wanting to write for Destructoid apply to me anymore, and the passage of time or taking a break isn’t going to change that. I believe it’s time I move on.
Firstly, as I’ve admitted on a handful of occasions, I started writing as a community blogger -- and respectively, aspired to become a staff member writing for the front page -- because I was struggling to motivate myself to pursue a career. As in, any career. Writing for Destructoid gave me a push that I needed badly at that point in my life. Now that I have a full-time job as a programmer (and it’s gone very well for these first four months), being a contributor here doesn’t really do anything for that need.
As far as why that goal motivated me, I had a dream of being a video game critic. A lot of things have changed since then, and after reflecting on all of those things together, I honestly can’t say I want to continue this as much as I want to chase passions that are less critical and more creative. Even many of my original reasons for wanting to be a critic, in retrospect, better apply to making more creative content. I can’t continue to put the same passion into my articles as much as I used to, not in the long run. I’m still very happy with my most recent pieces -- much happier than I am with my earlier ones, even! But I would much rather divert my future time towards growing in efforts I can pursue wholeheartedly.
I apologize for changing my mind after I said I had every intention of continuing to write for the site. That said, I’m proud of the sum of my work as a contributor, and I’m thankful to have been able to do this for a year and a half. Even though I’ve written some pieces I remain a little embarrassed to have made, I’ve used my reflections from them to grow a lot as a person, a critical thinker, and a writer. And many of my best pieces have given me the chance to live out the content creator experience that I’ve held up as an ideal and a dream for so long -- to entertain, to inform, and to generate constructive discussion. It’s not an overstatement to say I’m thankful to every one of you.
And I’m not planning to be a stranger! Like a couple of weeks ago, I have every intention to share new projects in the community blogs! I’m still working on sorting out my priorities, but I guarantee you’ll see more of my insect-power-fantasy-themed shenanigans. And I’m going to do my best to keep in touch with everyone in Communicord. Except for vxxy.
Actually, that was a lie. Vxxy’s a great friend. As are all of you reading this. Thank you, and I hope all of your days are even better than mine! And I ain’t going easy on my good-day having!