I still can’t remember how I let slip that I have an unhealthy obsession with dolphins. Was it in one of my earlier posts? Did I have a little too much liquid sunshine at one of the Destructoid get-togethers? Honestly, I have no idea. What I do
know is that I have embraced the truth and made my love for these aquatic princes of the sea known in numerous stories and comments.
But where did this love come from? I think there is only a handful of people that know why I really
love these majestic beasts as much as I do.
Well, now the truth must be told. I knew an explanation would come eventually, but the time finally feels right. I blame the emotions of the holidays.
Before reading you just have to promise me one thing:
You will not laugh in my face. :)
Now, with that being said, let the epic tale begin ...
*opening weathered old book*
Once upon a time there was a young lad by the name of Chad. He was a pleasant tyke with golden locks and eyes as blue as the sea.
But before he even had a chance to wipe away his shame with the sleeve of his polo shirt, the dolphin descended back under the water, leaving Chad standing all alone, his arm still outstretched. The enormous smile on his face slowly melted away as he realized there was a giant group of people staring at him. Beneath the hushed mocking and obvious pointing twenty seven year old Chad felt extremely embarrassed by his emotional outburst. But, honestly, he didn’t care. The experience was genuine and he wouldn’t have traded it for anything in the world.
As Chad walked away from the tank he looked back and nodded his head at his new dolphin friend. “I will return to see you another day, my faithful girl. I shall return another day.”
To this day, Chad has still not yet returned to see the dolphins, but that may soon change. Just recently, he received a message from a friend saying he could actually swim
with the dolphins at Sea World for a small fee. Given what happened when Chad just got to pet one, swimming around with them may result in Chad’s untimely death from joy explosion, but he knows in his heart this is something he needs to do ... very, very soon.
While it may only be a myth, some longshoremen have told tales of strange whispers coming from below the harsh currents of the ocean. And although they can’t make out exactly what is being said, the words “Chad” and “come home” have been mentioned.
*slowly closing dust-covered book*
So, there you have it: the reason I am obsessed with dolphins. Now the next time you see me mention a dolphin you will know that I was saved from death by one when I was little and then able to call the exact same one to me years later using only the power of pure love. Simple as that. :)
What can I say? After such a humiliating experience, I have a soft spot for the little guys.
LOOK WHO CAME: