That revelation alone is enough to make fun of me for months, but please just hear me out.
Looking past the unbelievably obnoxious young people who think they are the coolest human beings on the planet, there was one shining light of amazing.
Well, before I tell you about that, let me just vent about one of the obnoxious people.
His name is Ryan.
He is 19-years-old (this is important to the story) and just got back from serving in Iraq. Noble cause, sure, but all respect and admiration I could have had for this guy went out the window after this dialogue exchange:
(to Dan): You were in Iraq?
(in a I-am-so-cool tone): Yeah.
: What made you go?
(super serious): 9/11
Now, letís do the math.
During 9/11, RYAN WAS ELEVEN-YEARS-OLD!
I still get douche chills just thinking about it.
But now to the part of the show that actually made me not
want to kill myself.
There is a guy on the show named JD and, no joke, he is a dolphin trainer. A DOLPHIN TRAINER! Who really does that for a job?!
After he announced it they showed a montage of him swimming with said dolphins for, like, five minutes.
It was absolutely amazing.
I want to be JD.
And, yes, that is the saddest thing I have ever typed in my entire life.
Oh, also, newly discovered