A million internet-years ago
, I wrote a picture blog chronicling my adventures in PlayStation Home. I had part deux lined up but never got around to actually writing it. Chalk it up to laziness or some sickly disease. Well after getting frustrated trying to write several other blogs recently, I decided to go back to my specialty no matter how sad that specialty is.
Last time I gave you guys a tour of my apartment, we went shopping at the Mall, took a stroll through the Central Plaza and went to catch a flick at the Theatre. This time we'll check out some developer spaces. First up is from one of my favourite games this generation.
The Warhawk space has the same gritty, military aesthetics the game is known for. Taking place in a bunker, this space is primarily for 'Hawkers as it's intentions seem to be more on educating users than selling itself to idiots who don't already own the game. If you were offended just now, you totally deserved it.
Practice makes perfect. For people like me, that means a whole lot of practicing to become competent first. These computer displays hold sensitive intel that can help a person to become a better, more dangerous fighter. This
was the thing that made me realize that Home was more than just an online dancing simulator. "You mean I can actually dodge missiles in open air while using Pro Flight controls!?
My mind was blown
While Sony recently released a Warhawk Apartment for users to buy, something I have sadly/happily not bought yet, these awesome holographs of the flying raptors are unfortunately not part of the deal. More on the Warhawk apartment can be found in my past blog
The thing I don't understand about Warhawk is that I love the look of the actual Eucadian Warhawk much more than the Chernovan Nemesis, but for some reason I play much better in the "soaring stingray". Maybe it's because I spend less time looking at my own
ship and instead watch what others are doing. I needed the pic of the deadly duo together.
Now for what I consider to be the main draw of this space: the Warhawk Sandtables. Basically you could pretend to be a military general, looking over the battlefield and devise strategies for victory. I really don't know how effective it is. I find them hard to use which isn't helped by the often unpredictable nature of the game. This table is included when you buy the Warhawk apartment by the way.
Some freaky zombie wanted me, presumably in her pants. I'm not sure if she was after me because of my good looks or for my brain but I tend to have that affect on women. If I had a weapon I could dispose of this zombie. Yes, I classify zombification as an STD, especially when contracted from a female host.
This place is metal as fuck. I just had to rock out.
Ooooooh what do we have here?? Flamethrower?? RPG?? Grenades?? Assault rifles??
OH GOD LET ME IN!!! I CAN BURN THEM ALL!!! EVERY LAST ONE OF THEM!!!
From the tingling sensation in my fingers, my standing hairs and the burn marks on my back, I think the bunker guards at the Warhawk Space tazed me and threw me out on my ass. So where do I go when one of my favourite games rejects me (and it wouldn't be the first time Warhawk did that to me either)?? Well I go to another
of my favourite shooters. Here I am, Resistance 2!!
And yes, I am the annoying neighbour in the world of Home.
There's really not much to do in this space. It's an advertisement. There's video screens playing the trailer from the game and posters scattered around.
This thing you see I'm angry at is something I had a mild addiction to. It is a turret mini-game where you have to shoot Chimeran ships out of the air. If you get a high enough score you unlock a shirt with the SRPA logo on it. The thing I'm upset about is that for some reason the logo on my shirt disappeared and now I just have a plain white shirt. Balls.
The blank sign above the ticket booths shows the scores from the turret game. Like I said back in October, the screenshot tool doesn't capture things on video boards. If the results have not changed since 7 months ago, I have the highest score on my friends list. I also have no reason to believe those results have changed either.
Dear America, this Canuck tried to protect your homeland from the alien invasion and failed. I think. I really don't know, the end of R2 was pretty confusing. Seeing Hale that happy at the end gave me nightmares though.
"Brain eating zombies from space." That really is terrifying. Someone from this
space needs to fax over that poster to those Warhawk bastards and tell them to share that flamethrower with me. For defensive purposes. Nothing else.
This here is the special meeting place of the SRPA. I wasn't allowed in there. The Resistance people are bastards too it seems. They at least let me pose for a picture in front of their door. Ok, they may have specifically told me to NOT
take a picture of it but they didn't have to be so rough when they escorted me off the premises afterwards.
I figured you guys were getting tired of the dark greys and browns of the shooter worlds so I went to a place more stimulating for your optics: the Pixeljunk space!! The video screen was showing gameplay from Shooter
. This space is definitely what I would consider to be an advertisement space, but it's been crafted so well that it is worth just seeing the design for yourself. The colour really pop in here.
The first section of the PJ space is Racers
. Seeing their cars crafted in such detail makes me wish that they didn't make this game just a top-down racer.
Yeah bro, this is SO
going to be my new Facebook profile pic. All the lay-deez will be beggin' for moi after seein' me wit deez large-ass rimz.
I actually have a friend who talks like that.
What the hell is this!? A racetrack for ants!? It has to be two...maybe three times bigger!!
Next up was Monsters
, the one PSN game that I don't understand how I have yet to purchase. I definitely need to make amends soon!
This space is comprised of life-sized models of the towers that defend in the game. I really had no clue what they did. On the back wall were screenshots and videos from the game.
WHAT THE HELL!? I swear guys it's not what it looks like!! I...I...I'm really strapped for cash. This heroin addiction costs a lot *sob
follows up in the rotation.
Like the game, I was thoroughly disappointed with this space. It looks cool but once you get to the back of the annoying glass "maze", all you are rewarded with is the chance to sit down on some uncomfortable chairs and sexual harassment. The music is good though.
Here is the shop where you can spend your money. My fists were clinching wads of cash but no sales clerk was present to take my money. Just joking, I'm poor and have no money. You just walk up and pay anyways. They do have some cool shirts for your Home persona on the cheap. Even the entire biohazard suits from the scientists you rescue in Shooter.
I am so awesome that Q Games dubbed me "King of Pixeljunk". Bow to me, peons!!
Like I was stating before, the aesthetic of this space are really well done. This is the type of architecture that Home needs, which the developers do seem to be now embracing.
Men at work. Why do my arms look so scrawny??
The Pixeljunk Crown!! I spent a good 15 minutes trying to take this pic because some douche wouldn't move out of the way. I eventually won out after he got bored and left. HA! I used to use this pic as my background on my laptop. It looks very good. Too much white ruins it as a PS3 background though.
Now originally when I took these photos 7 months ago, the Shooter
space was not finished. But revisiting the space I found the finished product. Here it is. I have to say I love the look. And where exactly does that elevator go?? Well.....
TO FREAKIN' OUTER-SPACE!! I was clearly excited at seeing the sun that close up. I'm also now blind and have an advanced form of cancer. It was worth it though.
The personal spaceships from Shooter
are also here. They are much bigger than what they seem like in the game. Some of those caverns must be huge in scale. Also, I call dibs on the green one!!
Admiral CelicaCrazed declares war on your homeworld. Doom is inevitable.
There is literally nothing to do is this subspace but I was still impressed nonetheless.
Ratchet & Clank
I decided space elevators were not as cool as space ships, so I hijacked one and crash landed into what turned out to be the Ratchet & Clank space. The hobo that claimed it after I got out will just have to take the fall for me I guess.
This space is designed mostly for entertainment it seems. The developers know what Home users like and even installed a disco ball in one of the corners. I try to get my groove on but fail miserably.
Underneath the centre stage is what seems to be a manufacturing line. They seem to be constructing crates to replace the ones Ratchet is so fond of breaking. That dude has some serious issues.
Here we have an overlook of the space. Behind me are videos from the game. Along the back wall where I'm facing are some holographs that give information on the weapons, gadgets and ammo from the Ratchet & Clank series. I don't really know what that tube on the right is for. Maybe for leaving to the Central Plaza or maybe to another subspace. We may never know.
This fellow here sends you on a search to find his lost sheep. You get a prize for finding them all. Alright I'll tell you what it is. It is a miniature space ship to decorate your apartment. There's a picture later on that will show it.
Finally we have the mini-game that mixes tower defence and turret shooting together. Seven months ago I had no clue what it actually was because there was so many people playing it and I didn't feel like waiting for a turn. Stupid instances. Now there is no one here. Well I'm in the future zone, which is the hardest zone and requires the second of two unlockings (Present is easiest with past the middle difficulty). It was also like 2 in the morning on a weekday night. Yay unemployment! The controls are somewhat annoying because up and down are inverted, but if you are used to that scheme you shouldn't have too much trouble. The coolest thing is that you can play with three other people. You also get a prize for beating the Future stage. This prize you'll have to earn yourself if you want to see it but it may be hidden in a future pic.
Alright let's move on!
EA Sports Poker Complex
Oh no! It's evil sports!! Yeah this place may scare away most gamers but EA has me in their back pocket. I find it funny that they are still using Blanco in a Chicago Fire jersey to advertise FIFA 09 when he doesn't even play in this league anymore. Major League Soccer if you wanted to know what I league I meant (Woo! TFC!).
This space has images and videos from different EA Sports games. When I went back in October, they should have been advertising the 2010 games but whatever. NHL 09 had Dion Phanuef on the cover who will definitely be named as the captain of my Toronto Maple Leafs so I'm not complaining. Seriously Calgary, what were you thinking?? AHAHA!!!
I personally think it's crazy to build so many sports fields/rinks/courts/rings on top of high-rise buildings but that's just me. Someone with an engineering degree could probably explain the benefits to you.
Now the really appeal of the EA Sports Poker Complex is in fact poker. Free poker that is. And as a card shark, I smell blood. Money blood of course.
Oooh these people are in for a good fleecing. They will not know what hit them!!
I....I lost everything. OH GOD HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN!! *sob
* Where were all the colourful cards and the switches and the +4?? Huh?? What the hell is Uno
!? We were playing a version of poker I've never seen. Texas Hold Them or something. Bawwwwwww!
Those bastards weren't kidding when they said they would take everything from me. It's gone. It's ALL gone.
Oh well. The most important thing is that they did not break my knees. The sun still shines brightly and there are more adventures to go on.
Here is the spaceship I won from the sheep finding game. Also with it is my PSPgo and my Mini-Destructoid Bot. Together we shall come back stronger and more powerful then ever before!!
Of course that will have to wait until next week when I go (PlayStation) Home for the weekend.
Sneak peak for whenever the next edition is:
LittleBigPlanet Custom Wallpapers from the LBP Space!! Woo!! The other one in the gallery works better on the PS3 though.
LOOK WHO CAME: