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LONG BLOG

Sexblogs of 01/23 and GODDAMN STRIDERISMS

   0


Ok, before we start with my Striderisms, I got a bone to pick with you Andy Dixon.



Why is it that every time there's a new blogger's wanted topic, it feels like it's a Wednesday? Every time there's been a new topic these past 6 months, I've had to bear the brunt of the influx of blogger's wanted musings. A humongous spike in blogs that makes it no wonder that we haven't seen a new Cblog Analytics post from Altum Videtur. Granted, I'm not a poor schumck like Phil and recapping two whole days over the weekend like him but let's not forget this massive influx of blogs all follow a topic call out, so chances are I'll be reading the same basic gist over five or so blogs.

I'm not done yet! The new topic of the is sex?

I can see it now. Every blog is going to be beating this dead horse to a bloody pulp. NO. The horse is beyond dead right now. It's a jelly that's being packaged and sold off as Horse Butter in UK markets while it's being fine tuned for American consumption and advertising. If I wasn't sick of the topic before, I will be filled with raging viruses concerning the topic and will soon be shipped off to the CDC for intensive study and reverse engineering for biological weapons. My god, I am so fucking sick of blogs discussing gender issues, themes of sex, and self-image. If I wanted this much discussion, I'd have gone back to college and signed up for a Women's Studies class.



In fact, I considered writing for the blogger's wanted topic too. But after reading all of today's blogs on sex, I got sick of the idea of just discussing goddamn gender issues like I was trying to raise my D+ to a C- to pass my last GE. I've got another idea entirely and I'm sure as hell not telling you. You know why? Because you can go ahead and talk about this topic that has been talked so far to death, the Grim Reaper called in sick to stay at home and play Halo 4 in his boxers.

You know what? Screw the rest of my Striderisms. I got so worked up typing this out, I've forgotten what I was going to originally talk about. Fuck this topic, I'm out!

(╯□)╯︵ ┻━┻

Actually, I've been getting back into Mass Effect 3 multiplayer noooooooooooooooo.

* - Panza's talking disabled characters as a reflection of our progressively violent and immersive gaming worlds. And then Adam Jensen was brought up...

* - Shade's got so-and-so's on Fennekin and such

* - Have you played The Guardian Legend?

* - Did Pixel successfully mind-wave her thoughts to Nintendo to bring Shin Megami Tensei X Fire Emblem a reality?

* - PIR recounts low commitment activities like fighting on the edge of space and joining the Red Vs. Blue factions in EVE Online

A - Campy Joe briefly brings up the topic of transgender avatar usage

A - The thing about lokhe's discussion on mobile gaming not becoming the future is that I've heard this argument before

A - Someone's angry about companies screwing us over. Angry about DLC. He's an anarchist! Yeah! LukasRocks is an anarchist! DOWN WITH THE ESTABLISHMENT

A - Read the blog that almost made Jonathan Holmes quit podtoid!

M - That Hipster dives into the issue of making actual romantic development and stories as opposed to vapid sexual fantasy and deviant lust

M - brockly waxes poetic on how Bayonetta changed his sex view

A - What's your favorite video game music? Joe Young must know!

M - GUYS... I CAN'T... WHAT.... HUH? WHAT'S GOING ON ABOUT SEX LUKAS?

M - Johnel Lance hopes you're up to his standard of fucking

M - MORE SEX. GOD, SO MANY SEX BLOGS MAKE IT STOP. SEND HELP. THIS IS FROM DAGIARRAT.

C - You know you want a free code to DOTA 2






V - Travis does a Far Cry 3 let's play. Whatever!

T - Are you excited about a new, HD Zelda? TROY AIN'T! But hear out his fears...

S - The Blackest of black Deathes got the Halo OST on vinyl! Awesome!

A - Did you like Gordon Freeman in his hazard suit? Well Anaugi has him in a penguin costume

C - Kinect and Move bundled for widespread acceptance? I find your logic flawed and disturbing

F - Confused I am reading blog of this


~ StriderHoang


FPotD


Seriously, fuck this topic.
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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