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LONG BLOG

Sexblogs of 01/23 and GODDAMN STRIDERISMS

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Ok, before we start with my Striderisms, I got a bone to pick with you Andy Dixon.



Why is it that every time there's a new blogger's wanted topic, it feels like it's a Wednesday? Every time there's been a new topic these past 6 months, I've had to bear the brunt of the influx of blogger's wanted musings. A humongous spike in blogs that makes it no wonder that we haven't seen a new Cblog Analytics post from Altum Videtur. Granted, I'm not a poor schumck like Phil and recapping two whole days over the weekend like him but let's not forget this massive influx of blogs all follow a topic call out, so chances are I'll be reading the same basic gist over five or so blogs.

I'm not done yet! The new topic of the is sex?

I can see it now. Every blog is going to be beating this dead horse to a bloody pulp. NO. The horse is beyond dead right now. It's a jelly that's being packaged and sold off as Horse Butter in UK markets while it's being fine tuned for American consumption and advertising. If I wasn't sick of the topic before, I will be filled with raging viruses concerning the topic and will soon be shipped off to the CDC for intensive study and reverse engineering for biological weapons. My god, I am so fucking sick of blogs discussing gender issues, themes of sex, and self-image. If I wanted this much discussion, I'd have gone back to college and signed up for a Women's Studies class.



In fact, I considered writing for the blogger's wanted topic too. But after reading all of today's blogs on sex, I got sick of the idea of just discussing goddamn gender issues like I was trying to raise my D+ to a C- to pass my last GE. I've got another idea entirely and I'm sure as hell not telling you. You know why? Because you can go ahead and talk about this topic that has been talked so far to death, the Grim Reaper called in sick to stay at home and play Halo 4 in his boxers.

You know what? Screw the rest of my Striderisms. I got so worked up typing this out, I've forgotten what I was going to originally talk about. Fuck this topic, I'm out!

(╯□)╯︵ ┻━┻

Actually, I've been getting back into Mass Effect 3 multiplayer noooooooooooooooo.

* - Panza's talking disabled characters as a reflection of our progressively violent and immersive gaming worlds. And then Adam Jensen was brought up...

* - Shade's got so-and-so's on Fennekin and such

* - Have you played The Guardian Legend?

* - Did Pixel successfully mind-wave her thoughts to Nintendo to bring Shin Megami Tensei X Fire Emblem a reality?

* - PIR recounts low commitment activities like fighting on the edge of space and joining the Red Vs. Blue factions in EVE Online

A - Campy Joe briefly brings up the topic of transgender avatar usage

A - The thing about lokhe's discussion on mobile gaming not becoming the future is that I've heard this argument before

A - Someone's angry about companies screwing us over. Angry about DLC. He's an anarchist! Yeah! LukasRocks is an anarchist! DOWN WITH THE ESTABLISHMENT

A - Read the blog that almost made Jonathan Holmes quit podtoid!

M - That Hipster dives into the issue of making actual romantic development and stories as opposed to vapid sexual fantasy and deviant lust

M - brockly waxes poetic on how Bayonetta changed his sex view

A - What's your favorite video game music? Joe Young must know!

M - GUYS... I CAN'T... WHAT.... HUH? WHAT'S GOING ON ABOUT SEX LUKAS?

M - Johnel Lance hopes you're up to his standard of fucking

M - MORE SEX. GOD, SO MANY SEX BLOGS MAKE IT STOP. SEND HELP. THIS IS FROM DAGIARRAT.

C - You know you want a free code to DOTA 2






V - Travis does a Far Cry 3 let's play. Whatever!

T - Are you excited about a new, HD Zelda? TROY AIN'T! But hear out his fears...

S - The Blackest of black Deathes got the Halo OST on vinyl! Awesome!

A - Did you like Gordon Freeman in his hazard suit? Well Anaugi has him in a penguin costume

C - Kinect and Move bundled for widespread acceptance? I find your logic flawed and disturbing

F - Confused I am reading blog of this


~ StriderHoang


FPotD


Seriously, fuck this topic.
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

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[YOUR NAME HERE] - We want you!

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment

Overstuffed

Is there a holiday or time of the year more indulgent than Thanksgiving? I mean, we cook a turkey that weighs as much as three newborn babies, whip up about a billion sides consisting mostly of carbs and butter, and top the whole thing off with nine different pies, all featuring the main ingredient of "excess." It's equal parts disgusting and awesome, and is definitely my second favorite holiday behind our dearly departed Halloween.

But we were so occupied with whether we could eat six pounds of food in one sitting, that we didn't stop to think if we should. That brings us to November's Bloggers Wanted prompt: Overstuffed.

Playing through Horizon Zero Dawn really got me thinking on this topic. Don't get me wrong, the game has a really cool and fairly unique sci-fi story, the combat is fun and engaging, and the art direction uses vibrant color - a concept that largely died out near the end of the PS2 era, but man, is it long. The map is huge and stuffed with nooks, crannies and collectibles, and boy, by the time I wrapped the story and collected my Platinum trophy the game had really worn out its welcome. It's a shame really, as I truly enjoyed the game for its main components; but by the time I had picked off my ten-thousandth evil villager and performed my ten-billionth stealth kill on a Ravager, I found myself wishing the game would end soon.

I got this feeling about 3/4 of the way into the game. That is not good.

Modern gaming is great in that developers tend to pack in a metric shit-ton of things to do in their games. Modern gaming is also horrible because developers tend to pack in a metric shit-ton of things to do in their games. This tendency to overstuff their games with content is often overwhelming and can cause an otherwise excellent experience to drag. It was less of a problem when I was 18 and had all the time in the world; at 30 with a day job and a family, it's a complete game-changer.

So, beloved Destructoid Community, tell of us a time you felt overstuffed from gaming! It can be from a game you enjoyed that just felt too long like above, a time you binged on all thirty-two Kingdom Hearts titles, a particularly meaty haul of games you got at a yard sale - anything at all that celebrates or at least discusses your Thanksgiving-like excesses in gaming!

Write a blog with "Overstuffed:" and then your subject in the title, and let the world know of your girthy gaming experiences! We love promoting blogs to the front page here at Dtoid, and Bloggers Wanted is a great way to get noticed *wink wink nudge nudge hip thrust*

Happy blogging, everyone!

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