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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 8/1/13 + (no) Pikmin-isms

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My friends. My dear, sweet, wonderful friends. And all you other buttholes. A terrible injustice has occurred. An injustice of a scale not seen since Injustice. An injustice that will make you go “Well yes Shade, that is an injustice indeed”. Ready? Are you sure? Because it is the injusticeyest.

I do not have Pikmin 3.


- This, except no strange creatures either.

Don’t get me wrong, I ordered it alright. I paid my money for it. It has, however, not arrived. I ordered it last Thursday, right before its EU release date. So release rolls around; no Pikmin. The day after release; no Pikmin. The day after that was a Sunday, so no Pikmin can be forgiven….maybe. Surely, Monday would be the one, right? Nope, no Pikmin. Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday; Still no Pikmin. As this Recap goes up it will be Friday morning, and to be honest I’m still not expecting Pikmin. I don’t know when it will finally arrive. I just know that it will be too late. It will always be too late.

The store I bought it from doesn’t generally deal in video games, it’s a tech store more than anything, but they had this game up for significantly cheaper than everywhere else, so I decided to take the gamble. I shouldn’t have expected much from a store named Dixons. One thing I know is that I’m never buying anything from them again. Being out of stock I can understand. But not even telling me what’s going on sucks. Not giving me even an approximate ETA sucks. It’s Pikmin 3 for god’s sake, I need to know these things! Do they truly not understand? There’s a starving planet out there that’s calling out for three little people and their cute plant-creature things, and here I am unable to come to their aid. If millions of little aliens die from starvation before I get there, I’m holding you responsible.

I guess this is the gods of Nintendo punishing me for my insolence of buying Pikmin 3 later and cheaper than I should have. But while I pray to Miyamoto for forgiveness, I shall remain ever Pikmin-less.

And that makes me a sad Bulborb.







A - Lightning has bigger boobs now, Final Fantasy is dead. Just like it was when XIII-2 came out, and XIII, and XIV. Is something we declare 'dead' ever actually dead?

A - DustinThomas likes to take it one game at a time. Which is probably good advice, because I tend to play a little of everything at once.

P - A GoForRainbow podcast, featuring wet men.

A - Jinx does some mythbusting on the costs of PC gaming. Really worth a read, and there's some nice tips in here .

A - We of the Recaps do podcasts sometimes! It's episode 16 of the Fapcast featuring Strider and some other asshole!

A - Having discussed the craziest heroes in DOTA 2, Taterchimp continues with the craziest items!

A - Oh Capcom, what happened to you? T.T









N - XBLIG is nothing if not a well of shitty half-finished 'games'. TheKodu reviews Sexy Island Adventure, a game that is every bit as terrible as it sounds. Fortunately, he doesn't remember any of it.

T - GlowBear is a bear who would steal your grandmother's teeth just to have a Knights of the Old Republic 3 game made. In this blog we get a little insight as to why.

D - PlayBoyMan is making a thing, and has a video on it.

T - When you think about it, Watch_Dogs hits a little too close to home. With everything and everyone being connected nowadays, the game really pushes some paranoia buttons.





? - ...there is a fetish for girls stuck in sand? Seriously, internet?







- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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