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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 7/4/13 + 4th of July-isms by a Dutchman, and also Lordi

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It has come to my attention that today was the 4th of July. Unfortunately for you, I am unapologetically not-American. Today didnít hold any special significance for me, and it didnít even register until Striderís recaps yesterday that it was Independence Day. Regardless, I hope you all had a good time doing whatever it is that you do on the 4th of July. I know fireworks are involved, and if Calendar Man is to be believed, so are barbecues. Those are usually good fun, so hopefully you all had a goodíun. Iíll leave it to bbain tomorrow to talk more about it, Iím sure heís better at it than I am. In the mean time, Iím going to do my utmost to marginalize this most sacred of holidays.



Either way, I guess I went on a bit of a rant last week. I wasnít feeling like myself, so I felt like venting. I already feel a lot better now. Met back up with a bunch of my friends, played video games and just in general had the entire week to myself. It seems I needed that even more than I realized. And there was another thing this week that helped cheer me up: I got my hands on the new Lordi album! Woo!

If you donít know, and itís likely that you donít, Lordi is a Finnish metal band which I was first introduced to years ago. They have a gimmick in that every band member is always dressed up as a monster of some sort, and everyone has their own character to play complete with creepy backstory. Lordi is rarely seen without the costumes, as they even do interviews in them. †The vocals are done by a guy called Mr. Lordi, who is some sort of demon thing and the bandís figurehead, thereís a minotaur, a mummy, an alien, those kinds of things. They continuously update their insanely intricate costumes as well, ensuring that the band never looks the same for long. They even made a movie! The band members star as the monsters and itís a stroke of genius. GENIUS I TELL YOU. Iíve heard it said that Lordi is pretty much like GWAR, but I couldnít tell you because I donít know them.


- Lordi as I was first introduced to them. The current lineup is a bit different.

Their songs are mostly hard rock and/or heavy metal, and invariably deal with some kind of monster theme. One song on the new album is about the Grim Reaper trying to outdo Satan in a rock-off (itís similar to Tenacious Dís ďTributeĒ in that sense), several songs are about cannibalism, grannies and doctors going on killing sprees, girls being possessed by demons, ghosts, zombies, and so on. You name it, Lordi has a song about it. Itís all in jest, though, obviously. Songs about eating people are kind of hard to take seriously when they include lyrics such as ďCalled up your folks and theyíll join us for brunch/Nice day for a picnic/Theyíll be delighted only they are the lunch!Ē and are being performed by a bunch of guys in monster suits rocking out.

Apart from game soundtracks, Lordi is pretty much the only thing I listen to nowadays. I donít know what to tell you, I think theyíre hella fun, and I love that they donít take themselves too seriously. Lordi is the only band I consistently like, and the only band I have a hard time with to come up with a bad song. I guess theyíre not the most sophisticated around, and Iím sure music buffs will tell me I have terrible taste. It doesnít matter to me. I like Ďem and thatís that.

The new album is called ďTo Beast or not to BeastĒ (Lordi kind of has this thing with puns), and Iím really liking it. The first time I listened to the new album I hated it, but it has grown on me much like the previous albums have. Because of the way Mr. Lordiís voice sounds itís difficult to make out the lyrics, but upon repeated listening you get a sense of what the songís about. That really helps, because otherwise it just sounds like a mess of guitar riffs and grunts, which is what turned me off at first. Now that Iíve listened to them enough, out of 10 new songs 4 have earned a place in my increasingly huge list of favorites, and the other 6 are either okay or good. My favorite is ďCandy for the CannibalĒ, but I also really love ďSchizo DollĒ, ďHappy New FearĒ (what did I tell you about the puns?) and ďThe RiffĒ. A great new album all around; it looks like that even after the many years since I first heard of them, I havenít gotten over Lordi yet. And I wouldnít have it any other way.



And on that note, letís get to the c-c-caps!




- I donít think this clip has anything to do with the song. Do you still care after dat ass?

S - DustinThomas continues his series about The Simpsons: Hit and Run. Entry 4 deals with the in-game town of Springfield.

A - Dookysharpgun doesn't like the character of Zelda, especially in The Wind Waker. I couldn't disagree more, but there we are.

A - If you hadn't heard about this yet, a guy in Texas was arrested and has been imprisoned for the past months over a hyperbolic troll comment being perceived as a terrorist threat. It is such massive bullshit.

A - Stopping Nintendo's region lock might not be so easy, as it comes with a lot of implications.

A - We've been having a streak of good Cblog advice lately. Here's more.





I - WinMo makes introductions and promises.

T - If you have a big backlog, playing through the shitty games seems counterintuitive to me. Either way, Adrian did exactly that with Lair and others.

T - AndyLonn played through and liked inFamous: Festival of Blood.

T - He also wanted to do a Prototype review, but that game's not agreeing with him.

T - Sanitarium sounds pretty creepy, which is always cool.

D - The devs of Cognition take time out of their day to wish you a happy 4th of July.

M - Mikki Saturn created music that you can listen to.

A - The Last of Us fanart and opinions.

L - Nathsies has a book on American Psycho, and it's free!

C - A list of underrated PS2 games....by Stealth, so you know what you're getting yourself into.







- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade


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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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