Every Steam summer sale starts the same.
“Well, I bought way too many games last year, and I didn’t even have time to play them all. But this year will be different. This year I will buy two games tops, awesome ones at that. That will be it. Nothing else. NOTHING.”
Fast-forward about two weeks, and we have all suffered the same fate. Once again, we bought way too many games, and we won’t even have time to play them all.
Oh well, it can’t be helped. The best we can do now is revel in our purchases and enjoy the games so much we got more than our money’s worth by the time we’re done. And that’s exactly what I intend to do.
My haul this year is as follows:
Antichamber FEZ Dark Souls Penny Arcade: On the Rainslick Precipice of Darkness Episode 4 Ys I + II Chronicles Mirror’s Edge FTL: Faster than Light Finally, I bought Thomas Was Alone as a gift for a friend, because Thomas Was Alone is still the best thing. As is she, for that matter.
Anyways, I’ve already played and finished some games from my haul. Namely, Antichamber, FEZ, Penny Arcade and Mirror’s Edge. All of them are good or even great. Antichamber is mindfuckery of in the best possible way; FEZ has cool art/music/puzzles although the math and alphabet systems are way too convoluted, especially for a non-native English speaker who doesn’t know the significance of “The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog”; Penny Arcade is good, but neither as fun nor as funny as the previous episodes; and Mirror’s Edge is still brilliant (played it before, but had to rebuy). I already started FTL too: it’s fun, but I wouldn’t choose it over something like Dungeons of Dredmor.
And of course there is Dark Souls. What a fool I have been for not getting this one sooner. I’m not too far in yet, but I’m loving the hell out of this game. I like how much planning and strategy is involved in even the most ‘simple’ fights, and I love how the world of Lordran has been set up. Dark Souls feels like Metroid Prime’s worldbuilding and ]Monster Hunter’s combat had a baby who hates your guts. As for my progress, I just passed the twin Bell Gargoyles yesterday. They were a massive pain, but upgrading my equipment and a touch of strategy eventually carried me through the fight. Having rung the bell, I’m not really sure where to go next. Dashing past the faceless lightning dude (no way in hell I’m fighting him with my current stats) into the Garden seems like a fair bet though.
[EDIT: I just beat faceless lightning dude, and pretty easily at that. How? Bow. Because of course it’s the bow]
Beyond the games I paid actual money for, I also got some games for ‘free’. I dumped nearly all of my Trading Cards on the community market, and got a grand total of €10 out of the deal. Not too shabby, if I say so myself! I spent those 10 bucks on games I wouldn’t have paid my own hard-earned money for (for whatever reason) but could still see myself enjoying. In the end, I found three games which fulfilled those criteria quite nicely, and cost just a little under 10 bucks combined. These were:
Overlord + Overlord II Pack Hard Reset Deus Ex: Human Revolution
So far I’ve only played a little of each, but it looks to me like it was ‘money’ well spent. I knew I would love Overlord, having played the original back in the day, and getting it together with the expansion and sequel is a fair deal if I ever saw one. Hard Reset, being an FPS, I was less sure about. However, in his review Jim compared it favorably to Painkiller, and that if nothing else will get me to buy your FPS in a flash. I don’t hate First Person Shooters per se, I just hate what they’ve become. Give me an oldschool shooter with tons of enemies in wide open spaces, health packs and enough ammo to swim in, and I’ll definitely enjoy it. So far, Hard Reset is nothing if not that. As for Deus Ex, I’m not far enough in yet to give a verdict. Of the three, this was by far my most ‘dangerous’ purchase, because I have no clue if I’ll like it at all.
And there is one final purchase to enjoy! Just not on Steam (and thus without a 75% discount unfortunately). Over here in the old world, Pikmin 3 will be out tomorrow! I should be getting it in the mail right away. I’m looking forward to it! I never actually played Pikmin 1 or 2, but the trailers for the third installment may have sold the series to me, not to mention Miyamoto playing with stuffed animals. What’s that? PS4 and Xbox One will have ‘teh polygonz’? Fuck your polygons. If WiiU can do this that’s more than I’ll ever need. Just take a look at those leaves and tell me they aren’t the prettiest shit.
So now that I’m done making my wallet cry recalling all that money spent, let’s get cappin’! And, you know, actually playing games.
This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].
This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.
But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.
I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.
Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!
To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.
Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!
Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,
More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.
Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.
That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.
In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.
I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.
1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.
2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).
3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)
4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.
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