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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 3-12-09 and Qalamarisms

   0


Hello again, gentlemen and statistically rare ladies. If you saw Monday's recaps you already know that ScottyG and I are exchanging days this week, but I figure it bears repeating for those who may have missed a day or wonder why exactly their cheese has been moved. To anyone who thought this might make me start doing the recaps earlier in the evening... are you serious?



*-A-goddamn-men, Megastryke. Everyone who has ever written a word here should read this.
*-PedroVay2003 responded to the NIMF's article in a reasonable, rational way. I hope others follow his example.
*-Qraze nails this. "This is a masterpiece of poop thrown by a monkey." Remember, not all topsauce posts are good.
*-Nick Chester got some fan mail today!


A-JT706 has a gift for metaphor and puts it to full use in this analysis of Watchmen.
S-Gemsi posted the EU game releases coming out this week.
A-Tsunamikitsune picked up Phantom Dust. and recommends you give it a second chance.
P-Bwark-Kupo is making a game out of Failcast. To tide people over, he released a smaller game, Necros Ball. If you win the Failcast game... you win. But you failed. But you won at failing. But you won. But you still failed. But </SCANNERS>
A-KarioMart was retro before retro was cool.
A-SilverDragon wrote at length about the scourge of spawn campers in Killzone 2.
M- BulletMagnet's Monthly Musing is on the minigame in FF8 that became an obsession: Triple Triad.
A-Modern Games are Like Giant Text. Whoops, I mean breasts.
S-Dimly's Power Trip series gets its second installment with this look back at the shotgun in Resident Evil 2.


W-Seigfreid received the totally radtacular Bionic Commando lunchbox he won in the RetroforceGO! contest a little while back. I want a zombie repellent sandwich. >_<


E-Dtoid Australia will be having a party this Saturday in honor of Destructoid's 3rd anniversary. Take some pictures, guys.
E-JT706 would like to start up a new NARP group in the tri-state area near New Jersey, Philadelphia, and Delaware. What say you, Dtoid army?
F-In lieu of RFGO! Topher and Stella hosted a Puzzle Fighter tournament. That kicks ass. Not as much as a new episode, but hell, it beats a hard kick to the face.
F- Takeshi posted the info for the official Destructoid KZ2 clan.


N-Unangbangkay beat the front page with pictures of the unlockable fur bikini in Resident Evil 5.
R-Bulletmagnet extensively reviewed King of Fighters 98: Ultimate Match on the PS2. I've said it before, it's a good year to be a fighting game fan.
R-Tubatic gave us his first impressions of Madworld. I'm kinda glad people have been avoiding the obvious What's black and white and red all over? joke.
T-A very in-depth look at the history of the Street Fighter series by Cloud-1409.
R-AlexanderShen posted some impressions of the demo for Wheelman. I like the cartoons, it adds a lot to your posts.
R-Shin Oni reviewed Ken Fighter IV. Tongue firmly implanted in cheek.
R-Jonathan Holmes gives some impressions of Madworld. Looking forward to a full review soon.
N-Jonathan Ross (no, not that one) apparently leaked the existence of Fable 3 via Twitter.
N-Adam Sessler said a couple of unkind things about Resident Evil 5. EVERYBODY PANIC


A-AlexanderShen just started Bioshock, and made a neat little four-panel comic strip to commemorate the occasion.
A-Grumpyturtle continues to post his awesome game-related work doodles. I think my favorite in this batch is at the end.
F-This isn't really culture, but that's the best fit. RiotMonster watched WCG: Ultimate Gamer so you don't have to.
L-Vexed Alex has some harsh words for the writers of superhero comics.
A-Togail is back with another spectacular piece of game-related art. This is the final sketch of the Leviathan from FF8.
S-Diverse unboxes the RE5 collector's edition. Good stuff.



R-PopCap is offering Peggle for $5 this month. Most crack dealers give you the first taste for free.
R-Faith is selling some non-perler bead stuff.
C-Good try, but the "journalising" you did isn't all that hard to figure out.
C-I think this guy's new. I get the gist of what you're saying, but it's a little stilted and hard to read. Read it to yourself a couple of times before you make it live, you'll be amazed what you catch.
R-Ceark needed some help figuring out the Periodic table of Video Game Characters. Also, HOLY CRAP, CEARK!
V-Jedah Doma links to Substance TV.
C-More than two lines and a link next time please, and Superflossy would probably appreciate it if you changed your avatar.



F-The Cblogs seem a little worse when they know Hamza's on vacation. He'll be back soon though, and this will not stand.
S-I laughed at this the first time I saw it. The second, I chuckled a bit. The third through 15th times, I just died a little more inside.
F-I have no interest in celebrity gossip. Or hitting women. I don't think I'm your target audience, here.
F-Thursday fail is just as much fun as Monday fail.
F-Is it ALWAYS this bad on Thursdays?
F-Seriously, is it? I'm legitimately curious.

That sure was a lot of fail, wasn't it, boys and statistically rare girls?
And for your video tonight...


This guy has done a LOAD of VG covers, and offers everything he's uploaded to Youtube as MP3 files. If you like this kind of thing, there's lots more.

-(Qalamari)

FPoTD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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Help us spread the word out on these recaps and in turn, everyone's blogs too! (These tweets appear on Dtoid's official accounts as well)
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