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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 18/08/13 and MMMangasms, baby.

   0


Oh boy oh boy! It's couch day today!

It's been over a year since I last slept in a bed. The only couch I've ever owned was a hand me down that was about fifteen years old. Needless to say my wife and I live almost inconveniently frugal in some ways; but we finally bit the bullet and decided to buy a set of leather furniture, which our shithead cats will no doubt rip to fucking shreds once they get their filthy feline paws on it. Either way, I'm really stoked to sit back, relax, and play the ol' Playstation in comfort, knowing that I am in debt, but also better for it in the most important of ways.

I bought and played through Gone Home in one surprisingly short session, and it was one of those times where I payed premium for a game on Steam and didn't regret the experience, despite it only taking an hour and a half, which was me going at quite a relaxed, deliberate pace. Games do a lot of different things, but I have never played one that gave me that eery "I'm alone in the goddamn house" feeling. Without spoiling too much it is a game that will ultimate bring a tear to your eye far before it ever makes you shit yourself. But the way in which it approaches the idea of an interactive narrative is absolutely spot on; and I am extremely glad the devs didn't pad the shit out of the length for everyones ultimate inconvenience, despite probably knowing it would be a sticking point for a lot of folks who just won't fucking get what kind of game Gone Home is meant to be. I get real tired of lonely hearts club schtick everyone throws around when a new game comes out, each one eager to express how it "made them cry" as quickly as possible for some kind of emotional gamer cred; but in this case, I totally wouldn't fault them for it. Because you'd have to be a solid slab of stone to not get emotional at the climax of this one.



Papers, Please is another surprising game I got recently, one that I have admittedly not spent enough time with to give a reasonable assessment. Frankly, though, it totally stresses me out. Much like how Gone Home is a Home Alone simulator without hijinks or slapstick, Papers, Please is a thankless, redundant job simulator; one where the lives of the downtrodden, including your own family, depend entirely on your efficiency and decision making process, not to mention your attention to detail, which is constantly pushed to its very limits even early on. It's a fantastic little thing, one that I can't help gushing about, but also a game where the very idea of playing it sends me into a heart racing panic.

Skullgirls. Not much to say; game is goddamn beautiful. Amazing sprite work, fantastic gameplay. Difficult as all shit. The insane combos you can pull or have pulled on you are borderline unfair; but that is the real beauty of it, in a way, and I am totally addicted. I bought a nifty little arcade stick pretty much exclusively for that game, although it has helped my performance on my little collection of bullet hell titles on the 360 as well.

Tons of new stuff, tons of good stuff. But before I get too carried away, let's jam some caps, shall we?

* - Short, but full of feels. Stuff like this is the reason I read the Cblogs.

A - An interesting overview of some free J-Horror games. Honestly, Yume Nikki creeps me da F O

A - Dishonored and Pikmin 3...the same? My God...

P - An interview with Brian Arthur Sanchez, shamelessly plugged sans blog from a clear non-joiner of Destructoid. *sigh* oh well.

C - Zer0t0nin has some personal shit to deal with before he can come back to Dtoid full time. Good luck out there, duder.

E - You now have a chance to sign up to wear the Dtoid helment at PAX Prime! This is an opportunity that should not, nay, CANNOT be missed.

E - I want to keep making references to The Warriors everytime Smurf puts up a new Weekend Warriors thing. But I won't. I just...I'll try, anyways.

E - Adopting an avatar is a thing you can do again! Bbain needs a good home, and needs to get out of the cold and away from all the wolves. Won't you help, you cold, heartless pricks?

R - Glowbear is getting into the review game. Mmm, banana juice! I've got juice coming out of my banana just thinking about it, if you get what I mean, haha. Because penis.

V - KingSigy plays NBA Jam. The video might be good, I don't know because I don't watch videos because the devil lives in all of us and YouTube stirs his slumber. Like photo cameras!

V - Another thing where you can watch a guy play a thing. Papers, Please this time.

T - garganroo ponders about Plants Vs. Zombies 2, and shares some cool fanart with us!

C - A pretty sparse entry in the Questioning Vs. Tropes entry by Kodu, to be honest. Not much to say about it when the disclaimer is nearly as long as the entry itself.

? - Putting this here because honestly, if I fail it, it will only get clicked more times than it deserves too.

F - NO. JUST NO. FUCK THAT. YOU HEARTLESS BASTARD.



-The Manchild

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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