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Cblogs of 15/11/12 and A Farewell to Maru's.


Another week, and another recap from your favorite loathsome degenerate Manchild. These weeks are going by too fast. But unlike most of them, where the only thing I have time for is sandwiches and farts in between all the other stuff I have going on, it was a slow week. I did basically nothing I was supposed too, disappointed people left right and center, and generally spent a lot of time watching old IPL matches of Starcraft 2. In other words, it was a productive week for a fat neckbeard, and not so productive for a fat neckbeard who isn't particularly proud of being such.

Despite all the newness (of which there is a lot) I have been sticking to League of Legends. I've had an account for a long time, but was a little too intimidated initially to play more than a match or two. But lately, I've been studying the mechanics of the game and watching matches in order to get a feel for things, and I have to say it's coming much easier to me now. Playing a carry probably wasn't the smartest thing being as inexperienced as I am, but the LoL community has surprised me.

Here's the thing about MOBA games, this one specifically; people CAN be really nice. There is an opportunity for cordial friendliness. But you can usually expect a huge turn around if you make too many glaring mistakes. If you are a feeder, people will hate you. If you don't back them up properly or do your part, they will hate you. But up until you start screwing up badly, they can be fairly decent and helpful. I have run into a couple of guys who were initially totally assholes, yet who as we played, grew to be more tolerant of my newbieness. Honestly, I don't expect much. I play because I really like the game; if I ever get to a level of any reasonable skill, I'll probably find a team who I am comfortable with, since that really does seem to be the way to go. Playing with randoms has to suck after you put a lot of time into it.

We are recording another podcast today. One of the things that was briefly mentioned was the presence of a guy named Karutomaru. Smurfee was specifically against giving him any attention, and I agree to some extent, but I also want people to be aware of just why it is we despise him so much, and why he is getting the short end of the stick this recap while I rake his dummy account, Anti-Dixon, over the coals.

This is a community. In a very real way, I consider many of you to be "the friends I'll never meet." Destructoid is actually fairly unique in that it is sort of a refuge for folks who are really into gaming, yet who actually enjoy speaking to one another like mature adults in a creative setting rather than children on comment boxes trying to constantly beat down other peoples hard work and ideas in a competitive attempt to raise up their own. I come and read blogs here everyday, blog here occasionally, and do the recaps every week because I love getting into your heads. Like the brain worm in Wrath of Kahn, I want to get all up in your grey matter, and find out what makes you tick, because it helps me to find out what makes me tick, as well. A good majority of my own writing has been inspired by the thought provoking things I read here, and in that way it's sort of a beautiful thing; we can all play off each other, be inspired, and celebrate this thing we love together without all the anonymous nonsense that comes with less reasonable corners of the world wide web.

Karutomaru was a guy who didn't want any part of that. He was repeatedly nasty in both the way he communicated and in the ideas he shared, and after countless corrections, he was eventually banned. Now, he makes more work for the community team by constantly making new accounts through which to harass, and even made an account name called Anti-Dixon to passive aggressively jab at our community manager and beloved cock mongerer, Andy Dixon. All he cares about is trolling, but here's the thing; reacting in anger as some of us often do is not the right way to handle him. As a practical ghost here who is doing nothing but to create work for others, he doesn't deserve that much attention.

So from now and until the end of time, I will no longer be responding to, or acknowledging, either in comments or in my recaps, the existence of Karutomaru AKA Anti-Dixon, or whatever future name he chooses to use. He was banned for a reason, and is better off choosing a more appropriate venue. I just won't do it anymore. This is the last time, and if you too feel annoyed everytime you see him pop up, I suggest doing the same rather than the futile, aggressive approach which will continue to feed his ego.

I dunno. I actually feel kind of guilty doing this. It feels so exclusionary. And for the most part, this is a positive place to come and feel welcome, to write your heart out, and to involve yourself in one of the nicest, coolest communities on the internet. But it's the handling of the odd rotten apple that drops from the proverbial tree that makes that possible, even if it is occasionally a nasty experience. This member has no intention of listening to feedback, or ever becoming a real member of this community. He has demonstrated this many times before. I have made the mistake in the past of commenting on his posts, which is giving him the attention he so desperately seeks from us. That was a mistake.

No more mistakes.

To end on a lighter note, congratulations to Andy Dixon on his new broodling! Babies are fun, especially when they figure out that farts are funny. I fart in my daughters face all day, and she laughs every time. So all in all, we have a pretty healthy environment here, if you try not to think about all the baby pink eye going around.

* - glowbear writes about a game that is apparently a simulator of every tuesday night for me, ever.

* - This is an amazingly cool blog. I don't want to ruin it for you, but the pictures alone are worth the price of admission...which is free by the way.

* - Some really thought provoking points. Of course all are made moot by the fact that most girls aren't playing games because they're too busy MAKE SANDWICHES HAHA LOL. Just not for me, though. Because, you know, jaded mysoginistic douchebag asshole...they don't like that for some reason.

* - Super Metroid was, and still is, a really special experience.

A - pedrovay2003 has some concerns about the Wii U. So do I...I'm concerned it won't be in my house at Christmas time, and that I'll have to murder my family as a result of their incompetence.

A - Left 4 Dead 2 has been Left 4 Dead. My cousin is on Steam like, every other day playing it still. I feel left out for not having a chance to try it yet.

A - A primer for Guild Wars 2. Pretty helpful if you are into the lore and the story, but the nearly abysmal plot fails to outline any of it well enough for you.

I - Uh, I guess this is an introduction, at least as much as me crashing my car through the wall of my first AA meeting was while piss fucking wasted out of my mind. SillyReaper needs to elaborate and introduce herself next time, but for now, welcome to Dtoid.

T - I really hate these sorts of limitations. Competitive gamers should be allowed to be competitive, and synthetic limitations such as this are about as fun as having dinner at my house. You know, all the cat poop everywhere and you are trying to eat your meal and I'm staring at you with my lazy eye and rubbing your crotch with my foot under the table.

T - Nobody likes freemium games. Or they quickly like them and quickly move on when they laugh at the fact that Zynga wants them to pay for more water with real, humon money. EA gotsta reconize.

T - Elsa manages to do the fucking impossible and find a fun Kinect game. Activision manages to do the usually possible and fuck up Blops 2 on the PS3.

R - ctate95 shares a timely review of Red Dead Redemption, also known as "fuck why haven't I played that game yet?" in my house.

C - Copypasted from another blog site, this is a blog about which FPS was most popular on that ancient dying brick of a console from centuries past which few men yet remember.

C - Just some tips when writing new blogs here; make sure they are broken up a little more, and pictures are always nice. Z3R0GRAVITY1902 talks about Halo 4.

F - This is the last time for me. If someone else wants to recap this guys blogs, be my guest, but I won't have any part in acknowledging a phantom blogger who just won't disappear.

F - Okay I lied. THIS is the last time.

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!

Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.


1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.

Community Announcements
We have a Twitter account!
Help us spread the word out on these recaps and in turn, everyone's blogs too! (These tweets appear on Dtoid's official accounts as well)




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