Gaming News, Game Reviews, Game Trailers, Tech News

POPULAR:   SWITCH   |   PS4   |   XBOX ONE   |   PC   |   3DS   |   VR   |   JP   |   FILM   |   TOYS


 
CblogRecaps blog header photo
CblogRecaps
Fronts 13Posts 81Blogs 2570Following 37Followers 377


 
 








On Destructoid:
Most Comments

more notable stories

FAQ

Who updates the homepage?
Our Staff
What is Destructoid?
Long story
Can I submit a story?
#BloggersWanted
Dark theme?
Yep
Site rules?
Douche lightly
Ethics much?
Read this
Privacy?
Common sense
Who owns my posts?
You do


Get in touch

Editorial contacts
Meet our staff
Ask a question
Community@
Get support
Support@
Story idea?
Tips@
Everything else
Get in touch

LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 12/26/13 + Recapsiversary + HOLY SH*T Iím an archer!

   0

First of all: itís my Recaps anniversary today! One year ago almost to the day, I wrote my first Recaps for all of you. 52 weeks later, and I still enjoy the hell out of reading all your stuff, topsaucing the very best (like no one ever was), fapping to the regulars and encouraging newcomers to jump into our Dtoid pool party. And what great newcomers we had this year! We had one who finds happiness in his mental health, one whose German heart is filled with drugs, a pixelated pixie and the last in a line of oddly colored felines. Not to mention many more. We love having ya, and a belated merry Christmas to everyone.

Second: Iím going to talk about archers for a while again. If you know me, which hopefully after a full year of Shadeisms you do, youíll be aware that I fucking love bows and archers. Especially the rogueish lone wolf type can do no wrong with me. It would be a safe bet to assume that this started with the depiction of Legolas in Lord of the Rings, but to be honest I seem to recall archers being awesome even before I ever saw those movies. In that case though, you can bet your ass that he helped. So, how is this relevant?

Well, I went to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug last week! And guess what they did? They included two Elf archers, neither of whom were in the book, and they had them be badass orc slayers for about 80% of their screentime. Both Legolas, who is back because even though he wasnít mentioned in the book itís a safe bet that he was indeed present at the time, and Tauriel, a completely original character introduced mostly for some much needed girl power in a work that has literally no females in it, have very little relevance to the plot beyond ďhere are some orcs, we need them deadĒ. Sure there is a semblance of a love triangle going on, but that ultimately takes up very little time. Most of what they do still consists of getting out their bows and shooting some orcs right between the eyes, and it is fucking awesome. I went to this movie with high expectations of Smaug and Beorn, and while the former exceed my expectations by fucking miles (the latter less so), it may have been Team Orcslayer that surprised me the most.



Both of them take no shit from anyone, and their killcount is beyond compare. Nor does Tauriel suffer from being the only girl in the cast; in fact sheís quite on par even with Legolas, who already exhibits skill not seen since the whole ďtook out an Oliphaunt soloĒ scene in Return of the King. (Fun fact: ďOliphauntĒ is very close in writing and pronunciation to ďolifantĒ, which is Dutch for elephant). We get all the good stuff. Lightning-fast bow drawing, shooting a guy mid-jump or mid-bodysurf, stabbing an orc in the head with an arrow and then immediately shooting said arrow at another one, and I suppose theyíre also good at using swords if for whatever incomprehensible reason bows arenít the best option at any given point.



Long story short; these two reminded me once again why archers are so damn cool, if they didnít just outright double my already huge obsession.

And then, right after I got back from the movie, this happened;


Itís me!
Itís me and Iím a badass archer! Iím even wielding Linkís Skyward Sword bow!
ITíS ME AND IíM AAAAAAAHHHHH-
*faints*

Thank you so much Mikey. You donít even know.

Christmas magic is real.

* - For such an insufferable prat, crackedbat surely does have a streak of poetry in him! Let him tell you all about gaming in 2013...in rhyme!

A - Here we have a financial report on Oroku Saki's new PC. As expected; lots of cash went into the system, but you get good deals on the games.

A - Go hug your family for Christmas.





E - The Super Kimchi Bros. (who is only one person), went to a bunch of gaming events in Korea this year. They sound like fun!

C - A potential new blogger has problems with our Cblog editor. We've all been there.

T - Nimsshow spent his Christmas playing Infinite Undiscovery with a friend. Fortunately its music was miles better than its title.




- Speaking of Elves (I'm gonna get smacked for this), Zelda was announced for the new Smash Bros! She has a kind of sexy mysterious air to her that I really appreciate.




- Case in point.







- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade

FPotD
Login to vote this up!

LOOK WHO CAME:


CblogRecaps   
smurfee mcgee   1
Elsa   1
Morty   1
Nic Rowen   1
Ben Davis   1
Panzadolphin56   1


 
 

  0 COMMENTS

Please login (or) make a quick account (free)
to view and post comments.



 Login with Twitter

 Login with Dtoid

Three day old threads are only visible to verified humans - this helps our small community management team stay on top of spam

Sorry for the extra step!

 

About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - James Internet Ego
Wednesdays - TheBlondeBass
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Lets Do Launch

In case you've been living under a rock or just waiting on NieR: Automata (thanks for the delay Amazon!), Nintendo just launched its newest console. Whether it's a success or a failure remains to be seen, but many people have bought themselves this shiny new console for their home. It's been a while since we've seen this sheer amount of excitement over a console, and a Nintendo one, no less, considering the amount of goodwill they probably have since the Wii U.

But the QP has been having endless buzz over the Switch, despite concerns over hardware faults in the Joy-Con or cheaply produced docks. Personally, I'd love one despite the lack of software on day one. I mean, I could play Zelda while at work. And not a handheld Zelda either. A proper, huge console-designed Zelda! Asides from that, it's all about the love of having shiny new tech in your hands. So that's what this month's bloggers wanted will be about: console launches, the hype and the release into getting it into your hands.

To participate, title your blog "Let's Do Launch: [your title here]" and use the "Bloggers Wanted" tag, and in a general sense, talk about your favorite launches. We've had the PS4 and Xbone years back but were we genuinely excited or just looking forward to it? Or how about where you were when the GameCube released? Don't worry too much about celebrating the exact launch date, either. I still clearly remember the time I got my Sega Genesis from Costco, complete in a bundle with Ecco the Dolphin and Donald Duck's QuackShot.

Don't worry about being positive or timely. Did you grow up to see the Vectrex launch? Go ahead and enlighten us youngins about how much of a love/hate relationship you may or may not have. Still rocking an Ngage? I'm sure you are. So how did it feel to purchase such a mistake of the universe? Go ahead and let us know, and eventually, we'll get around to promoting it to the front page!
Current Community Contests
Hypno Coffin has a contest on tap for all sorts of games to insert into various orifices.

Community Announcements
We have a Twitter account!
@CblogRecaps
Help us spread the word out on these recaps and in turn, everyone's blogs too! (These tweets appear on Dtoid's official accounts as well)
________________________________________

Archives

Legend:

WORDtoid

A- Articles
S- Series
B- Bloggers Wanted
P- Podcasts

CONTEStoid

C- Community Contests
W- Winners/Updates
E- Entries

COMMUNItoid

E- Events
F- Fight Nights
D- Destructoid in the Wild
S- Stories
C- Contemplations
I- Introductions
B- Birthdays
R- RIP
H- Houses, cribs, setups

GAMEtoid

N- News
V- Videos
R- Reviews
P- Previews
T- Thoughts
D- Development
$- Deals

CULTUroid

A- Art
M- Music
F- Film/TV
L- Literature
S- Swag

OTHEroid

L- LOLs
R- Random
V- Videos
C- Could Be Better
?- Defies Description

FAILtoid

S- You Are Slow
F- Maybe Fail?
 



Read Huge: Top Stories

Destructoid