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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 12/26/13 + Recapsiversary + HOLY SH*T Iím an archer!

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First of all: itís my Recaps anniversary today! One year ago almost to the day, I wrote my first Recaps for all of you. 52 weeks later, and I still enjoy the hell out of reading all your stuff, topsaucing the very best (like no one ever was), fapping to the regulars and encouraging newcomers to jump into our Dtoid pool party. And what great newcomers we had this year! We had one who finds happiness in his mental health, one whose German heart is filled with drugs, a pixelated pixie and the last in a line of oddly colored felines. Not to mention many more. We love having ya, and a belated merry Christmas to everyone.

Second: Iím going to talk about archers for a while again. If you know me, which hopefully after a full year of Shadeisms you do, youíll be aware that I fucking love bows and archers. Especially the rogueish lone wolf type can do no wrong with me. It would be a safe bet to assume that this started with the depiction of Legolas in Lord of the Rings, but to be honest I seem to recall archers being awesome even before I ever saw those movies. In that case though, you can bet your ass that he helped. So, how is this relevant?

Well, I went to see The Hobbit: The Desolation of Smaug last week! And guess what they did? They included two Elf archers, neither of whom were in the book, and they had them be badass orc slayers for about 80% of their screentime. Both Legolas, who is back because even though he wasnít mentioned in the book itís a safe bet that he was indeed present at the time, and Tauriel, a completely original character introduced mostly for some much needed girl power in a work that has literally no females in it, have very little relevance to the plot beyond ďhere are some orcs, we need them deadĒ. Sure there is a semblance of a love triangle going on, but that ultimately takes up very little time. Most of what they do still consists of getting out their bows and shooting some orcs right between the eyes, and it is fucking awesome. I went to this movie with high expectations of Smaug and Beorn, and while the former exceed my expectations by fucking miles (the latter less so), it may have been Team Orcslayer that surprised me the most.



Both of them take no shit from anyone, and their killcount is beyond compare. Nor does Tauriel suffer from being the only girl in the cast; in fact sheís quite on par even with Legolas, who already exhibits skill not seen since the whole ďtook out an Oliphaunt soloĒ scene in Return of the King. (Fun fact: ďOliphauntĒ is very close in writing and pronunciation to ďolifantĒ, which is Dutch for elephant). We get all the good stuff. Lightning-fast bow drawing, shooting a guy mid-jump or mid-bodysurf, stabbing an orc in the head with an arrow and then immediately shooting said arrow at another one, and I suppose theyíre also good at using swords if for whatever incomprehensible reason bows arenít the best option at any given point.



Long story short; these two reminded me once again why archers are so damn cool, if they didnít just outright double my already huge obsession.

And then, right after I got back from the movie, this happened;


Itís me!
Itís me and Iím a badass archer! Iím even wielding Linkís Skyward Sword bow!
ITíS ME AND IíM AAAAAAAHHHHH-
*faints*

Thank you so much Mikey. You donít even know.

Christmas magic is real.

* - For such an insufferable prat, crackedbat surely does have a streak of poetry in him! Let him tell you all about gaming in 2013...in rhyme!

A - Here we have a financial report on Oroku Saki's new PC. As expected; lots of cash went into the system, but you get good deals on the games.

A - Go hug your family for Christmas.





E - The Super Kimchi Bros. (who is only one person), went to a bunch of gaming events in Korea this year. They sound like fun!

C - A potential new blogger has problems with our Cblog editor. We've all been there.

T - Nimsshow spent his Christmas playing Infinite Undiscovery with a friend. Fortunately its music was miles better than its title.




- Speaking of Elves (I'm gonna get smacked for this), Zelda was announced for the new Smash Bros! She has a kind of sexy mysterious air to her that I really appreciate.




- Case in point.







- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
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Reserve Recappers:
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[YOUR NAME HERE] - We want you!

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment

Overstuffed

Is there a holiday or time of the year more indulgent than Thanksgiving? I mean, we cook a turkey that weighs as much as three newborn babies, whip up about a billion sides consisting mostly of carbs and butter, and top the whole thing off with nine different pies, all featuring the main ingredient of "excess." It's equal parts disgusting and awesome, and is definitely my second favorite holiday behind our dearly departed Halloween.

But we were so occupied with whether we could eat six pounds of food in one sitting, that we didn't stop to think if we should. That brings us to November's Bloggers Wanted prompt: Overstuffed.

Playing through Horizon Zero Dawn really got me thinking on this topic. Don't get me wrong, the game has a really cool and fairly unique sci-fi story, the combat is fun and engaging, and the art direction uses vibrant color - a concept that largely died out near the end of the PS2 era, but man, is it long. The map is huge and stuffed with nooks, crannies and collectibles, and boy, by the time I wrapped the story and collected my Platinum trophy the game had really worn out its welcome. It's a shame really, as I truly enjoyed the game for its main components; but by the time I had picked off my ten-thousandth evil villager and performed my ten-billionth stealth kill on a Ravager, I found myself wishing the game would end soon.

I got this feeling about 3/4 of the way into the game. That is not good.

Modern gaming is great in that developers tend to pack in a metric shit-ton of things to do in their games. Modern gaming is also horrible because developers tend to pack in a metric shit-ton of things to do in their games. This tendency to overstuff their games with content is often overwhelming and can cause an otherwise excellent experience to drag. It was less of a problem when I was 18 and had all the time in the world; at 30 with a day job and a family, it's a complete game-changer.

So, beloved Destructoid Community, tell of us a time you felt overstuffed from gaming! It can be from a game you enjoyed that just felt too long like above, a time you binged on all thirty-two Kingdom Hearts titles, a particularly meaty haul of games you got at a yard sale - anything at all that celebrates or at least discusses your Thanksgiving-like excesses in gaming!

Write a blog with "Overstuffed:" and then your subject in the title, and let the world know of your girthy gaming experiences! We love promoting blogs to the front page here at Dtoid, and Bloggers Wanted is a great way to get noticed *wink wink nudge nudge hip thrust*

Happy blogging, everyone!

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