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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 11/12/09 + Strykisms

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Today's recaps are brought to you by 5-Hour Energy energy drinks! 5-Hour Energy! The low-calorie, sugar-free pick-me-up that'll help you face the day with no crash later!

I have been the proud consumer of 5-Hour Energy energy drinks for nearly a year now. Let me tell you that this stuff works. I don't drink it often in order to avoid dependency, but when I've got a long road trip ahead or I'm really pushing myself to get a long workday rolling, I know what I'm reaching for.

I had an incident this past Tuesday that I'd like to share with you. Suffering an uncomfortable night of indigestion, I had only managed two hours of sleep before the six o'clock alarm. I must then make an hour-long commute down to the Florida Atlantic University campus for my part-time job as a computer lab assistant. Who drives that distance for a position that offers no health plan? Losers desparate for money, that's who.

At promptly two o'clock, I make the drive back home to work another two hours at my local high school as a math tutor. Recently, I've been doing algebra remediation, short little courses to help students review for make-up tests. I only had three students this day but from the migraine I received thanks to this one little punk you would think I juggled thirty. He refused to participate, refused to do the work. I tried to explain the concepts and he just stared at his paper, doing little pencil swirlies.

Look, kid. It's simple. You plug the coordinates and slope into the equation in order to find the y-intercept. We did it two times together on the board. You don't even have to think. Just look at the board and repeat those steps for your particular problem. I'm not doing it for you. No! We can't go over fractions! You are in high school! That's middle school material!

Listen, you little bastard! I got two hours of sleep, made a two-hour round-trip commute to and from another job where I make just enough to cover the gas it takes to drive there, and then I come here to this bullshit! Are you fucking kidding me!? Are we doing this today? TODAY!? You don't want to make an effort like these other guys? Fine. I'm ignoring you for the rest of the afternoon. What do I care if you fail your retake. I still get paid.

If it wasn't for 5-Hour Energy, I would have killed someone. I would have killed someone then danced into oncoming traffic naked. That would have made for some great headlines, though! Fuckin' A!

...

...

5-Hour Energy. Available at all major drug stores and gas stations. Do not drink more than two bottles in a day. Possible side effects include hot and itchy skin, increased blood pressure, and bouts of extreme paranoia.



RECAPS AHEAD: Due to the high volume of Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 coverage lately, all blogs that make mention of the game will be denoted by the COD OF WAR label. This serves as a warning that what you are about to read is full of grit and machismo.


*- To channel George Carlin, game reviews are fine. The people are fucked.

*- Maniac Mansion's purple meteor in a jar for display. God damn, that's awesome.

*- Game length vs. game quality as explained with peanut butter sandwiches. I'm hungry. COD OF WAR

*- The composer from The Transformers arranged the Gran Turismo 5 theme!


A- Here's how the new James Bond game should be.
S- Nothing wrong with holding Wind Waker as your favorite Zelda game, but DJKay defends his choice anyway.
S- dTunes, Justice's Demo Cuts, Day 4: Producers, the people behind the music
S- Got UT3? Play with your balls in this mod.
S- Wry Guy's Wryview of Wrynal Wrantasy V Advance.


E- How to work the chat channel for Wry Guy's Fatal Destructoid tournie.


D- Mr. Destructoid is running for president! You heard it here first!
D- Destructoid is an acceptable source for a college term paper.
S- drizzt really knows how to celebrate his girlfriend's birthday... COD OF WAR


N- This week, Euros finally get to buy The Biggest Loser. COD OF WAR
N- Good job at curbing those cheaters, Infinity Ward. COD OF WAR
N- Using the power of JOURNALISM, Dinin Vorta shares everything we know about Deus Ex 3 so far.
V- Wow. Tasteful. COD OF WAR
R- Borderlands is rated five Shadows and an Eggman.
T- Multiplayer on the PC is poopy. COD OF WAR
T- Remember when games came in cardboard boxes? THOSE were flimsy. COD OF WAR
T- Knife fight. COD OF WAR
$- This eBay Germany PS3 Slim listing is a deal, I guess.


F- Five properties that deserve the anime treatment.


R- Every conversation with every "AI" bot ever.
V- Dealing with a trophy whore.


F- First blog of the evening. Off to a great start. COD OF WAR
F- Cock-a-doodle-doo.
F- Aren't you just the sweetest thing?


[ m e g a S t r y k e ]

FPoTD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

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Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment

The heel-turn

Last week, in the quick posts of Destructoid's community, we saw the rise and fall of community manager Wesley J. Russow. He rose to prominence with his immutable power, only to see it come crashing down as the working class clambered beneath him and tore him down. Truly, the life and times of Westopher G. Raggamuffins was a lesson in live fast, burn hot, crash spectacularly.

Wes went from community darling to lovable despot over the course of a few days. It was a thing of beauty to behold. Truly, nothing is better to witness than a real-life heel turn. Wrestling is nothing without these terms after all. A "Face" is a good guy wrestler who fights the man, stands up for the little guy, and fights fairly while still winning. A "Heel", on the other hand, is a despicable, dastardly villain or even anti-hero. I loved Kurt Angle's antics as this gold medal Olympic winner turned wrestler who wasn't necessarily as likable as his gold medals imply. I loved hating that guy! A good heel is fun to hate, and there's nothing quite like the gasp of shock when watching the turn, when a face uses dirty tricks and turns into a heel.

Let me ask you this: is Kratos a hero? Before we see Kratos return in what I'd call Dad of War, let's not forget Kratos’ sordid past as a hero. In the first game, it was a revenge tale. It was a story of a mythical Spartan warrior who wanted revenge on the God of War who betrayed him. But as the series went on, it became a story about the lengths Kratos would go to justify his vendetta against people who wronged him. He would literally destroy the world just to destroy his enemies. Sure, we played as him, and we were taken on a ride, but would you really put your bet behind him and say, "Yeah, look at that hero!"

This month's Bloggers Wanted is about your favorite heel-turns or anti-heroes (in case a heel turn is too specific). Do you like it when Ryu turns into Evil Ryu? Or maybe you like Injustice, with its built in heel-turn Superman? I won't claim to understand the time line of Revolver Ocelot between Snake Eater and Guns of the Patriots, but I love that knucklehead.

To participate, just start a blog in our community section and title it "Heel-turn: [your blog title here]." Write to your heart's content, and if its up to snuff, you'll see your stuff published on the front page! Just remember, you're telling us about your favorite heel-turns and anti-heroes, not becoming one yourself, like Wes. Rest in spaghetti, never forghetti.


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