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Cblogs of 09/26/12 and Borderlandsisms!


You turn a corner into a dark alley where you're then confronted by a giant man that's at least 8 feet tall, carrying a backpack as tall as you, and is wearing a bucket that's covering his entire head. Do you:

A) Kick him in the nuts
B) Fuck that shit and run like hell
C) Ask him if he's seen any sailors around
D) I'll take TheRapist for $500 Trebek

The answer: run into a cave full of SpiderAnts and murderous bandits and hope for the best. Well, that's what I did anyways.

Seriously now, Borderlands 2 has me by the eff'in balls. Work is a pain in the ass, I'm having trouble making time to talk to my girlfriend, and I haven't written anything for days except for that last blog about Borderlands 2 and I only managed that because it's about Borderlands 2.

More than the loot, I just want to see my character grow and become more badass. But it happens in such slow increment that I simply come back hoping I'll reach level 50 sooner. Who doesn't want the ability to drop two turrets armed with rocket launchers and bubble shields? But in the game's pace, I'm lucky to upgrade my turret's cooldown rate by 5% each rank. Everything happens so incrementally, it's the looting that keeps me from going insane.

So you got a gun that shoots bullets? How about a sniper rifle that has a base damage of 169 and a critical multiplier of goddamn 180%. I've found a sniper rifle with a higher base damage of 230 and a crit multiplier of 120% but my older rifle still outdamages it. The new one can do 200 normally and crits can do 600 plus electric damage, and that's cool.

My older gun does 150 normally but crits for 1,250 damage.

What is math and how does it work?

I've found rocket launchers that do 300x3 damage. Yes, it fires three rockets at once for 300 damage each. Is that crazy? NO. I've found a rocket launcher that does 5160 damage and has 4 shots a magazine. That's 5k damage against a number of enemies who happen to be near each other. I killed a thresher the size of a small apartment complex in just 3 rockets.

I found a shotgun with pink rarity that was manufactered by Bandits. It's called Critikal hit oberkill! and it has a scope for some reason. It does 138x17. Yes, multiplied by 17 buckshot. Plus it does 50% critical damage. Plus it has 22 shots in the chamber. Plus it's in the hands of an Assassin who's Deception ability can potentially multiply first strike gun damage by 200% and critical hit damage by 250%.

Crazy, crazy, crazy!

Jesus, Borderlands 2 is goddamn math porn.

And before I forget, Wrench mentioned in his caps last night that he just hit his anniversary capping. We have been capping together at about the same time. So does that mean it's my anniversary too? I don't remember. If someone remembers, please feel free to tell me, if I happen to be around anyways. Which I doubt because I'll probably still be playing Borderlands 2.

Hit me up on Xbox peeps. Those Legendaries aren't going to loot themselves you know!

* - Manchild regales us on how STUPID he was as a kid

* - The longest, most veiled, most meaningful rape joke I've ever read

* - The Ocean is a big, wonderful, scary place. And Donut has awesome examples of great games using it to great effect

P - Botchtoid 5 calls you out to the ring unless yer a yella bellied lilly licker!

*Tenleid via tumblr

T - Remember Populous? Robert Cousineau remembers! And man was it awesome!

T - CBA is about to submit himself to the test of grinding in WoW. 0 to 90, as fast as he can.

N - Not only is the ME trilogy coming, but Zombie Orwell breaks character in the comments!

T - Dixon was smart enough to hold onto his Golden Key until level 50. So smart. S-M-R-T.

C - I'm sorry. It's a very legitimate concern over Valve and being taken to court in Germany. I just have trouble reading it and comprehending it fully

C - Shadau's spotty recollection of his Rage adventures


F - That's it?

S - Zero faps and zero comments. Yup, nobody cares

F - Sumon's bade reviw off Legen of Zelda Skywer Sowrd an hao it sux

~ StriderHoang

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps


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Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment

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Last week, in the quick posts of Destructoid's community, we saw the rise and fall of community manager Wesley J. Russow. He rose to prominence with his immutable power, only to see it come crashing down as the working class clambered beneath him and tore him down. Truly, the life and times of Westopher G. Raggamuffins was a lesson in live fast, burn hot, crash spectacularly.

Wes went from community darling to lovable despot over the course of a few days. It was a thing of beauty to behold. Truly, nothing is better to witness than a real-life heel turn. Wrestling is nothing without these terms after all. A "Face" is a good guy wrestler who fights the man, stands up for the little guy, and fights fairly while still winning. A "Heel", on the other hand, is a despicable, dastardly villain or even anti-hero. I loved Kurt Angle's antics as this gold medal Olympic winner turned wrestler who wasn't necessarily as likable as his gold medals imply. I loved hating that guy! A good heel is fun to hate, and there's nothing quite like the gasp of shock when watching the turn, when a face uses dirty tricks and turns into a heel.

Let me ask you this: is Kratos a hero? Before we see Kratos return in what I'd call Dad of War, let's not forget Kratos’ sordid past as a hero. In the first game, it was a revenge tale. It was a story of a mythical Spartan warrior who wanted revenge on the God of War who betrayed him. But as the series went on, it became a story about the lengths Kratos would go to justify his vendetta against people who wronged him. He would literally destroy the world just to destroy his enemies. Sure, we played as him, and we were taken on a ride, but would you really put your bet behind him and say, "Yeah, look at that hero!"

This month's Bloggers Wanted is about your favorite heel-turns or anti-heroes (in case a heel turn is too specific). Do you like it when Ryu turns into Evil Ryu? Or maybe you like Injustice, with its built in heel-turn Superman? I won't claim to understand the time line of Revolver Ocelot between Snake Eater and Guns of the Patriots, but I love that knucklehead.

To participate, just start a blog in our community section and title it "Heel-turn: [your blog title here]." Write to your heart's content, and if its up to snuff, you'll see your stuff published on the front page! Just remember, you're telling us about your favorite heel-turns and anti-heroes, not becoming one yourself, like Wes. Rest in spaghetti, never forghetti.

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