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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 09/26/12 and Borderlandsisms!

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You turn a corner into a dark alley where you're then confronted by a giant man that's at least 8 feet tall, carrying a backpack as tall as you, and is wearing a bucket that's covering his entire head. Do you:

A) Kick him in the nuts
B) Fuck that shit and run like hell
C) Ask him if he's seen any sailors around
D) I'll take TheRapist for $500 Trebek

The answer: run into a cave full of SpiderAnts and murderous bandits and hope for the best. Well, that's what I did anyways.

Seriously now, Borderlands 2 has me by the eff'in balls. Work is a pain in the ass, I'm having trouble making time to talk to my girlfriend, and I haven't written anything for days except for that last blog about Borderlands 2 and I only managed that because it's about Borderlands 2.

More than the loot, I just want to see my character grow and become more badass. But it happens in such slow increment that I simply come back hoping I'll reach level 50 sooner. Who doesn't want the ability to drop two turrets armed with rocket launchers and bubble shields? But in the game's pace, I'm lucky to upgrade my turret's cooldown rate by 5% each rank. Everything happens so incrementally, it's the looting that keeps me from going insane.

So you got a gun that shoots bullets? How about a sniper rifle that has a base damage of 169 and a critical multiplier of goddamn 180%. I've found a sniper rifle with a higher base damage of 230 and a crit multiplier of 120% but my older rifle still outdamages it. The new one can do 200 normally and crits can do 600 plus electric damage, and that's cool.

My older gun does 150 normally but crits for 1,250 damage.

What is math and how does it work?

I've found rocket launchers that do 300x3 damage. Yes, it fires three rockets at once for 300 damage each. Is that crazy? NO. I've found a rocket launcher that does 5160 damage and has 4 shots a magazine. That's 5k damage against a number of enemies who happen to be near each other. I killed a thresher the size of a small apartment complex in just 3 rockets.

I found a shotgun with pink rarity that was manufactered by Bandits. It's called Critikal hit oberkill! and it has a scope for some reason. It does 138x17. Yes, multiplied by 17 buckshot. Plus it does 50% critical damage. Plus it has 22 shots in the chamber. Plus it's in the hands of an Assassin who's Deception ability can potentially multiply first strike gun damage by 200% and critical hit damage by 250%.


Crazy, crazy, crazy!

Jesus, Borderlands 2 is goddamn math porn.

And before I forget, Wrench mentioned in his caps last night that he just hit his anniversary capping. We have been capping together at about the same time. So does that mean it's my anniversary too? I don't remember. If someone remembers, please feel free to tell me, if I happen to be around anyways. Which I doubt because I'll probably still be playing Borderlands 2.

Hit me up on Xbox peeps. Those Legendaries aren't going to loot themselves you know!

* - Manchild regales us on how STUPID he was as a kid

* - The longest, most veiled, most meaningful rape joke I've ever read

* - The Ocean is a big, wonderful, scary place. And Donut has awesome examples of great games using it to great effect

P - Botchtoid 5 calls you out to the ring unless yer a yella bellied lilly licker!








*Tenleid via tumblr

T - Remember Populous? Robert Cousineau remembers! And man was it awesome!

T - CBA is about to submit himself to the test of grinding in WoW. 0 to 90, as fast as he can.

N - Not only is the ME trilogy coming, but Zombie Orwell breaks character in the comments!

T - Dixon was smart enough to hold onto his Golden Key until level 50. So smart. S-M-R-T.





C - I'm sorry. It's a very legitimate concern over Valve and being taken to court in Germany. I just have trouble reading it and comprehending it fully

C - Shadau's spotty recollection of his Rage adventures

F - BORDERLANDS 2

F - That's it?

S - Zero faps and zero comments. Yup, nobody cares

F - Sumon's bade reviw off Legen of Zelda Skywer Sowrd an hao it sux


~ StriderHoang


FPotD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
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[YOUR NAME HERE] - We want you!

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment

Overstuffed

Is there a holiday or time of the year more indulgent than Thanksgiving? I mean, we cook a turkey that weighs as much as three newborn babies, whip up about a billion sides consisting mostly of carbs and butter, and top the whole thing off with nine different pies, all featuring the main ingredient of "excess." It's equal parts disgusting and awesome, and is definitely my second favorite holiday behind our dearly departed Halloween.

But we were so occupied with whether we could eat six pounds of food in one sitting, that we didn't stop to think if we should. That brings us to November's Bloggers Wanted prompt: Overstuffed.

Playing through Horizon Zero Dawn really got me thinking on this topic. Don't get me wrong, the game has a really cool and fairly unique sci-fi story, the combat is fun and engaging, and the art direction uses vibrant color - a concept that largely died out near the end of the PS2 era, but man, is it long. The map is huge and stuffed with nooks, crannies and collectibles, and boy, by the time I wrapped the story and collected my Platinum trophy the game had really worn out its welcome. It's a shame really, as I truly enjoyed the game for its main components; but by the time I had picked off my ten-thousandth evil villager and performed my ten-billionth stealth kill on a Ravager, I found myself wishing the game would end soon.

I got this feeling about 3/4 of the way into the game. That is not good.

Modern gaming is great in that developers tend to pack in a metric shit-ton of things to do in their games. Modern gaming is also horrible because developers tend to pack in a metric shit-ton of things to do in their games. This tendency to overstuff their games with content is often overwhelming and can cause an otherwise excellent experience to drag. It was less of a problem when I was 18 and had all the time in the world; at 30 with a day job and a family, it's a complete game-changer.

So, beloved Destructoid Community, tell of us a time you felt overstuffed from gaming! It can be from a game you enjoyed that just felt too long like above, a time you binged on all thirty-two Kingdom Hearts titles, a particularly meaty haul of games you got at a yard sale - anything at all that celebrates or at least discusses your Thanksgiving-like excesses in gaming!

Write a blog with "Overstuffed:" and then your subject in the title, and let the world know of your girthy gaming experiences! We love promoting blogs to the front page here at Dtoid, and Bloggers Wanted is a great way to get noticed *wink wink nudge nudge hip thrust*

Happy blogging, everyone!

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