So this week I decided to do something I shouldíve done ages ago. Iím a huge sucker for superhero movies, as Iím sure lots of people here are, but there were two in particular I hadnít watched even after all this time. Iím talking about The Dark Knight Rises and The Amazing Spider-man. I never got around to these, due to word-of-mouth for Batman and the fact that itís a reboot for Spider-man. So, my thoughts then.
First of all, I hated Rises. Did not like it at all. To be fair, Iím not much of a fan of Begins and The Dark Knight either; the animated Batman: Under the Red Hood is a better Batman movie than The Dark Knight is, and I might even go so far as to say itís a better movie period. †Itís really great, and John DiMaggio makes a brilliant Joker.
Anyway, Rises. Like I said, hated it. I thought it was slow and boring, for one. We only see Batman for a very small portion of the movie, and most of his screentime is devoted to getting the shit kicked out of him by Bane. Bane, who I might add, is nothing like his comic book counterpart except the name. It was nice that they had him ďbreak the batĒ and everything, but thatís nowhere near enough to convince me that this burly dude with a massively inconvenient mask and ridiculous voice is actually Bane. Regardless, we have seen with Iron Man 3 that a superhero movie without the superhero can work perfectly well. I fucking loved that movie, partially BECAUSE itís Tony Stark wrecking peopleís shit in all sorts of creative ways. And on top of that, the climax more than makes up for any absence of Iron Man in the rest of the movie. Rises was just nowhere near as fun, and I didnít find the characters or plot strong enough to keep me interested. †
There were a lot of other things that bugged me, like the blatant 99% bullcrap that ultimately didnít matter since Bane didnít give a shit about it in the first place but just saw it as a nice and easy way to destroy Gotham, Bruce Wayne being an unlikable prick to everyone (especially Alfred), or Jim Gordon inexplicably sending EVERY SINGLE †ABLEBODIED COP IN THE CITY into the sewers.
Honestly, the only thing I liked about this movie was Anne Hathaway as Catwoman.
- And no, not JUST for that reason.
So, what about The Amazing Spider-man then? WellÖ.I liked that one a lot! I canít help but feel like Iím being contrary with this, but I donít know what to tell you. I thought it was good.
Alright, alright, I didnít think it was entirely good. Peter Parker was kind of a douche, honestly. At the very least he was a lot less likable than the geeky Tobey Maguire version of Peter Parker. Besides that, I just canít see this dude being picked on and bullied all the time. Let me tell you, if this Peter Parker had gone to my high school he wouldíve been the coolest kid there. What with his skateboard and photography and all? Totally.
Another thing that bugged me was his ďfightĒ with the bully once he gets his powers. In the original movie Peter punches Flash Gordon across the fucking hallway, and here itís justÖ.basically, all he does is play keepaway with a basketball and yet the movie treats it as if Flash got beaten up hard. Seriously, watch it. And if you think it was about the hoop that Peter destroyed, well no. Uncle Ben literally asks him ďDid you humiliate that kid?Ē as if Peter was completely out of line doing that, and never even mentions the hoop. So again, Peter did squat. He really didnít do anything. It was just a tiny tiny bit above playfully messing around. And the worst part is that this fight is more integral to the Spider-man story than ever, as it kicks off a chain of events that leads directly to Uncle Benís death. So that didnít sit well with me at all.
But enough of me being a negative nancy, what did I LIKE? Well, long story short, I fucking loved this Spider-man. He was just chirpy and upbeat enough, neither being too grim or too childish. He was making quips and jokes, like classic Spider-man is supposed to, but not overly so. But, of course, once it matters he gets serious and lays the smack down. And once he does, itís glorious. Itís a joy seeing this Spider-man fight. Heís way more acrobatic than I remember the Raimi version being, jumping around all over the place and overall being way faster. His use of the web is also much more interesting, changing between pellets, strings or just straight-up cocooning a motherfucker in a heartbeat. There are some wonderful shots in this movie showing Spider-man as you always imagined him. This movie is Spider-man being Spider-man, more so than the Raimi movies were. Itís a damn shame this Spider-man is in a different universe from the Avengers, because he wouldíve been great in Avengers 2. I was never a great fan of Spider-man, but Iíve definitely gained renewed respect for the guy. In fact, let me give you the shot that won me over.
- Itís Spider-man doing Mirrorís Edge. I would buy the SHIT out of that game
So, whatís next? Iím watching the shit out of Riddick, thatís what. Oh, and Man of Steel, I guess?
This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].
This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.
But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.
I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.
Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!
To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.
Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!
Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,
More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.
Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.
That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.
In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.
I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.
1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.
2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).
3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)
4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.
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