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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 04/25/14 + 04/26/14 and bbainisms

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Hello everyone! This week, I played a really bad game. But despite what you might think, I actually enjoyed my time with it! 



The game was Telltale's Jurassic Park, which is a QTE-fest in a similar vein to The Walking Dead. This is interesting, because while The Walking Dead was a viable contender for Game of the Year, Jurassic Park was considered one of the worst games of its year. The gameplay between the two was extremely similar, with a few tweaks in The Walking Dead's favor, making characters think differently of you depending on what you say, and maybe those characters will live long enough to make it a little further in the story. I guess the main thing The Walking Dead had going for it was the fantastic character development, and the feeling that player choices were affecting the story, and that was enough to push it into Great Game territory, leaving games like Jurassic Park to be looked down upon in shame.

Jurassic Park's story wasn't bad though, in my opinion. It certainly helps to be a fan of the first movie though, otherwise many of the references the game makes will be lost on you. Since the first Jurassic Park movie happens to be one of my favorite movies of all time, however, I found all the references to be a joy! You get to explore areas from the movie, immediately after the events of the movie have taken place, such as Nedry's car crash site and the main room of the visitor's center, where the T-rex just destroyed the two raptors. It was really cool going into these areas knowing what happened there, looking around the bushes for the can of shaving cream Nedry lost and the stick that he threw, and panicking when you have to open up Nedry's car door knowing full well that there's a dilophosaurus hiding in there.



The new characters introduced in the game were pretty interesting too. Dr. Harding was in the movie very briefly, taking care of the sick Triceratops, but he's much more interesting in the game. His daughter, Jessie, was probably the best character in the game, same as any of the children from the movies (because how can you not love Tim and Lex?). The other characters, Nima, Billy, Oscar and Dr. Sorkin, were also really great characters (and very diverse, in terms of personality and physical appearance), although I thought Billy went a bit uncharacteristically crazy towards the end. Nima and Dr. Sorkin probably had the most interesting and believable character arcs, while Dr. Harding's and Jessie's arcs were pretty sappy but still entertaining (typical father/daughter stuff).

The game's biggest draw, of course, is the dinosaurs, and I thought they had a great variety of awesome looking dinos! The sections of the game with the raptors were appropriately frightening and super tense, while the T-rex was more thrilling than anything. I also enjoyed the introduction of the Troodon, which were terrifying simply because of how little was known about their behavior. My favorite dino, though, was of course the Mosasaur, a giant aquatic beast which was sort of a mix between a shark and an alligator. Granted, I don't think it would be humanly possible to outswim that thing like they did in the game, but it was still the coolest section of the game for me anyway.


AHHHHHH! So cool!

Of course, none of this stops the game from being a lazy mess of quick time events and little else. There are a few easy puzzles, and some dialogue options to explore, but other than that it's purely QTEs. It's definitely not the most fun thing to play, but the story was interesting enough to hold my attention the entire way through. Although, like I said before, it certainly helps to be a Jurassic Park fan.



No topsauce today :(



A - Thumb Scar discusses a card game called Boss Monster, a game overflowing with references to other games and media.




One thing the game was missing was Jeff Goldblum's glorious bod.



F - Friday Night Fights on Nintendo + Battalions!

F - Friday Night Fights on Playstation + Drunktrev!



R - Lord Spencer reviews Sparkster, an SNES game with opossums and rocket packs!

N - Under Night In-Birth Exe: Late has been confirmed for a physical release on the PS3, but what does the name MEAN?!

N - Apparently if you have a Steam VAC ban, meaning you've cheated in the past, you won't be able to use the online features in Dark Souls II.







V - Some dude plays the Attack on Titan theme on guitar.



No fails today! Huzzah!



- bbain

FPotD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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