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LONG BLOG

Cblogs of 03/08/13 + Rejection & Heartachisms

   0


What's up Dtoid? If we're Twitter pals you may have seen my Tweets from the other day. So the story goes like this my senior year of highschool I met this girl, I really liked her and she liked me, even her mom liked me she told me to ask out her daughter. I was going to do it, but a few things kept me back. I lived about an hour drive away from her, and had no car at the time, so I didn't know how I'd get to see her now that school was ending. I was an emotional wreck at the time. I met her at my 3rd high school, In my previous schools I dealt with a lot racism when you have entire groups of people hating you it really eats at you and makes you hate yourself. Although at this new school I made tons of friends that treated me great I was still dealing with that old baggage, and at the time some really personal family stuff was happening. So I was losing my mind meanwhile trying to hide it from everyone at school because that was the only place I was happy. I sank into this terrible depression I just had this cloud of sadness following me every where I went. I knew that it wasn't a good time for a relationship because I was emotionally unstable so I didn't ask her. Well summer came, and I felt my sanity restoring. This was it, time to ask I was ready. It was at that time that she started answering my calls less often, and when she did she would cut the conversation short. I kept trying to contact her because I wanted to ask her in person. Well about a week or 2 after I had my revelation she changed her Facebook status to “in a relationship”
She posted some pictures with a guy and she looked happy and he looked happy. She's a smart girl so I knew she wouldn't pick a bad guy. I didn't want to ruin their relationship so I backed off and never called her again.

I went to college met some girls. Was going to ask a girl out, but she moved out of state. Asked one girl out, but she already had a boyfriend, asked another she already had a boyfriend too. A few months ago I saw her change her FB status to single. Thought about saying something, but I didn't want to feel like a vulture so I decided to wait. I had no idea how long to wait, she did get out of a 3 year relationship. Fast forward four months later I'm at this Japanese festival I'm walking by and I see my friend from high school (last time I talked to her was about a week before). I stop by to say hello and I start talking to her and then that girl (the one this story is about) chimed in I didn't even notice her standing right there. She looked happy to see me and it just felt right, we only talked for a few minutes. She was with her sister and surrounded by school friends, so I knew now wasn't the time it would have been to awkward.

So I did the lame thing and I sent her a Facebook message asking to go out on a date. I sent it at 1 A.M and at about at 10:30 P.M. I got a response. I got nervous as all hell so I turned off my computer and listened to sad music for 40 minutes. mainly this song, it's at the bottom of the post I got the courage turned on my laptop and proceeded to read the message and was greeted with this.

“Sounds good. I'll give you a better response when I'm home later. (I've been staying at school for 12 hours a day lately)”

I was ecstatic I took to Twitter and posted my happiness and texted a good friend who I always talk about relationship stuff with. I didn't really sleep last night I spent most of the night hugging my pillow and my cat, and thinking about what could come of this. I've had two girlfriends before, but they didn't really count. One was a girl I never even meet my friend introduced me to her through a phone, the other was a girl I never asked out. Someone else asked her out for me I didn't know what to do I wasn't planning on dating her I just sort of went with it, we dated for a few weeks and then she broke up with me through a letter her friend wrote which her friend delivered to me (that must have been awkward writing a break up later for a friend poor girl)

Well today I got her full response, and it turns out she just want to be friends. I totally understand that she was in a 3 year relationship, and she's really busy with school. One of the reasons I was hesitating to ask her was because I didn't want to make her feel bad for saying no. I'm okay with being just friends with her, I'm not one of those guys that goes around pretending like “the friend zone” is this evil real place. A wonderful girl wants to be friends with me that's fine, it just it stings that she said “sounds good” I thought that meant yes and was filled with all this hope. Maybe I just interpreted it wrong, I don't know.

We're going to try to hang out next week, so that'll be fun. After that though I imagine we'll just drift away again she's got so little free time I imagine she'd rather spend it with her family and close friends.

Me? Well I feel like shit, but I'll be okay. I like that she was honest and straight forward with me. At least I tried, it's just a little heartache I can deal with that. Now I need to get back to listening to crappy sad bastard music, and here's some caps for you.

* - Johnmasterlee Talks About His Past and Future With VideoGames

* - Max Payne 3: The View From Brazil

M - TroyFullbuster Doesn't Like These Games

P - LindieComplex Podcast, Well It's Indie Complex, but Lindie Complex Sounds Cooler

P - Hektr0 Hizt0ry 0f P0dcastz

A - Crackedbat Writes about Botched Video Game Launches, and I Get Sad About De Blob

F - PS3 FNF

E - Wii U FNF

E - 360 FNF

D - Twisted Jenius Talks About Engine Woes

R - Stubbleman's Got A Murderous Backlaag On His Back

R - This Dude Liked Lost Planet 2

F - PenguinFactory Writes About Anita & Tropes vs Women in Games

F - bustaballs Writes About Anita & Tropes vs Women in Games

A - ArchdukeFerdinand Talks About Women In Gaming





S - Copy Pasta



- Scissors

FPotD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

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