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Cblogs of 02/07/13 + Expressive Shadeisms


In contrast to the past two weeks, this week was a little slow on news. No new kings or graduations this time. I started my first classes of my Master’s this week, and from the looks of it they’re going to require more than a little bit of work. Then again, shouldn’t that be the entire point? We won’t get anywhere if it doesn’t take work.

On the gaming front, I’ve still been playing Mario and Darksiders, but due to classes my progress has slowed down a bit. I finished Snapshot and got back into Offspring Fling. Snapshot is good, but I felt that it didn’t explore all of its game mechanics thoroughly enough. There’s a lot that can be done with its, admittedly clever, photography gimmick, but it falls short of its true potential. For example, an incredibly neat mechanic that requires the player to line up background objects so they form a box or a spring which can be spawned by snapping a picture is only used in one level in the entire game, whereas an awful mechanic involving magnets (all together now: UGH) is used in a good six or seven. It’s still a good game, but I would’ve liked to see it be explored more. As for Offspring Fling, it’s an indie platformer in which you throw your babies around. What more could you possibly need?

”Experience the thrill of motherhood in this epic baby-throwing adventure” really says it all.

Finally, last Saturday my friend and I had one of our movie marathons, so that was a lot of fun. We decided to watch Batman: The Dark Knight Returns Part 2, Cabin in the Woods, Wrath of the Titans and….

Twilight: Breaking Dawn Part 2.


We’ve never actually watched a movie before just because how bad it was supposed to be. The only movies we ever watch together are either good ones or just movies that might not be “good” per se, but look entertaining. This was the first time we ever watched something out of pure train-wreck value. Because of that, we made a solemn promise to each other:
“If this ever stops being fun to watch, we will immediately shut it off and watch something good instead.”

Not ten minutes after making this promise, we were gasping for air from laughing so hard. The two-hour movie was over before we knew it, and I don’t think we’ve ever been quiet for a minute. There was always something stupid to point out. Highlights included Michael Sheen’s already infamous squee, the creepy little CGI girl (and the 20-something shirtless Jacob we keeps hanging around her all the fucking time), Jacob stripping in front of Bella’s dad, the vampire who is inexplicably the fucking Avatar, and Bella’s facial expressions. As for the latter, the thing is we couldn’t make heads or tails of it. Every time Kristen Stewart tried to show some emotion, we got this:

Seriously, what is that? What the hell is she even trying to convey? Is she angry? Focused? Constipated? In an alternate state of mind due to possession by the Ancient Ones? What the fuck is that?!

As for the other movies, Batman wasn’t very good (way too political, up to and including a blatant Reagan parody) but Cabin was a very clever movie. Lots of great moments in that one, and “the stoner” was fantastic.

Wrath of the Titans is an interesting one. I’m a sucker for Greek mythology, and any movie that features a chimera can do no wrong with me. My main gripe with this movie, and with the original too, is that it’s way too American. The characters are too American, the actors are too American, the dialog is too American, the jokes are too American, the combat is too American, the romance is too American, quite literally the entire movie just feels too American. I get that most movies are American, and most of the time I don’t have a problem with it. It’s just that for a fantasy story, it doesn’t work. Demi-gods don’t spout one-liners, ancient Greeks don’t have a thick US accent, Hades doesn’t threaten to send you to hell, a Greek hero doesn’t kiss the female commander of the army full on the mouth, and the list goes on. The “Americanism” of this movie clashes (haha) with its setting, and it started to bug me something fierce. It’s like if in Lord of the Rings, Saruman were to announce his betrayal to Gandalf with “Sauron is gonna steamroll us if we don’t switch to his side! No way we’re winning this! Join us, Grey, or I’ll send you to the deepest pits of hell myself!”, to which Gandalf replies “You’re an idiot! I’m leaving”. It doesn’t work.

It’s too bad as well, because I always like seeing what moviemakers can come up with for Greek Mythology, and this one went so far as to include even Hephaestus, the most underappreciated god if you ask me. The dude made flying shoes, invisibility helmets, unbreakable shields, robots and even a woman, but he never gets any love.

Overall, I still enjoyed Wrath, though. There’s good action scenes here, and some cool monster designs show up. I also really liked what they did to the character Andromeda, played here by Rosamund Pike, as compared to the original. In the original she was no more than a princess in need of rescue, on par with Princess Peach, but in the sequel she’s the full-fledged commander of a fucking army. Rosamund Pike also pulls some of the most awesome expressions I’ve ever seen.

Rosamund Pike doing the best “Oh shit!”-face ever. Kristen Stewart take notes.

Long story short, I recommend Breaking Dawn 2 if you want to laugh your ass off, and I pray to Zeus that claiming a movie is “too American” isn’t racist in some way.

But before we get to the caps, it's the Battle of the S's with a new Fapcast involving Strider, Smurfee and Shade!

* - MisterDonut looks at the Tiny Tina controversy completely rageless, something that the Internet needs to do more often. By the way, I'm going to go out on a limb and say that "badonkadonks" means boobs? That is, it sounds like it would mean boobs? It SHOULD mean boobs, and that's all I have to say about that.

* - Marcunio looks at David Cage's recent points on how the video game industry can grow up, and makes some very good points of his own. Especially read the last paragraph.

* - Voltech takes an in-depth look at Majora's Mask. He apparently has more, but is holding it hostage. By the way, I want a new Zelda game to actually feature Majora. Think about it, we have no clue who "Majora" is, just that his (her?) mask is evil. I want to know more!

A - This is an interesting topic; how much fan input should devs "suffer" on their games? Personally, I think any input during the development process is a good thing and should be seriously considered (That said, put Shulk and Kalas in the next Smash. Bros, Nintendo!). Having fans dictate a change in a finished product (Mass Effect 3), however, is crossing a line.

A - crackedbat isn't happy with the new developments on Rayman Legends (seriously though, why a delay for the WiiU version WHICH IS ALREADY FUCKING DONE), but found seven other things to do this September.

F - The PC Friday Night Fights with Aliens. Predators are still better.

V - At first I thought that this was about the twelfth "The Wheel of Time" novel. Then I saw that it was just a look at the new Guild Wars update, and was disappointed.

V - DMC most definitely does not deserve all the praise it's been getting....

R - Or does it?

R - Fortunately, I do know that there will always be one game that deserves each and every little bit of praise it gets: Country Dance Wii

Take note of Rosamund Pike pulling another amazing face at 2:44

F - Man, this almost looks like gun propaganda. I guess there's a line in here about Rick Grimes, which still doesn't explain what it's doing on Destructoid, but otherwise it's all gun.

- ShadeOfLight
May you always find water and shade

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps


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Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment

The heel-turn

Last week, in the quick posts of Destructoid's community, we saw the rise and fall of community manager Wesley J. Russow. He rose to prominence with his immutable power, only to see it come crashing down as the working class clambered beneath him and tore him down. Truly, the life and times of Westopher G. Raggamuffins was a lesson in live fast, burn hot, crash spectacularly.

Wes went from community darling to lovable despot over the course of a few days. It was a thing of beauty to behold. Truly, nothing is better to witness than a real-life heel turn. Wrestling is nothing without these terms after all. A "Face" is a good guy wrestler who fights the man, stands up for the little guy, and fights fairly while still winning. A "Heel", on the other hand, is a despicable, dastardly villain or even anti-hero. I loved Kurt Angle's antics as this gold medal Olympic winner turned wrestler who wasn't necessarily as likable as his gold medals imply. I loved hating that guy! A good heel is fun to hate, and there's nothing quite like the gasp of shock when watching the turn, when a face uses dirty tricks and turns into a heel.

Let me ask you this: is Kratos a hero? Before we see Kratos return in what I'd call Dad of War, let's not forget Kratos’ sordid past as a hero. In the first game, it was a revenge tale. It was a story of a mythical Spartan warrior who wanted revenge on the God of War who betrayed him. But as the series went on, it became a story about the lengths Kratos would go to justify his vendetta against people who wronged him. He would literally destroy the world just to destroy his enemies. Sure, we played as him, and we were taken on a ride, but would you really put your bet behind him and say, "Yeah, look at that hero!"

This month's Bloggers Wanted is about your favorite heel-turns or anti-heroes (in case a heel turn is too specific). Do you like it when Ryu turns into Evil Ryu? Or maybe you like Injustice, with its built in heel-turn Superman? I won't claim to understand the time line of Revolver Ocelot between Snake Eater and Guns of the Patriots, but I love that knucklehead.

To participate, just start a blog in our community section and title it "Heel-turn: [your blog title here]." Write to your heart's content, and if its up to snuff, you'll see your stuff published on the front page! Just remember, you're telling us about your favorite heel-turns and anti-heroes, not becoming one yourself, like Wes. Rest in spaghetti, never forghetti.

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