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LONG BLOG

Cblog Recaps of 10/02/13 and TURNABOUT STRIDERISMS

   0


So I'm balls deep in GTA Online when what pops up on my radar?



A demo to motherfucking. Ace Attorney. 5. Yup, Dual Destinies has got a demo on the eShop now and this game is probably the entire reason why I bothered getting the physical copy to Animal Crossing: to preserve memory space for Ace Attorney 5, which is a digital only game for the west. And remember, we're alright with that because it's better than not getting it at all due to demanding a physical card.

The demo whets the Ace Attorney fan's appetite for smartly written dialogue in a procedural court drama. Instead of being a separate story to Edgeworth, which was perfectly serviceable in its own right (so many opportunities for Wright puns), Ace Attorney 5 is where we want to get back to. The story of Phoenix Wright, particularly continuing where 4 left off with Nick taking the bar exam and returning to the world of law. But he's not alone as not only will he be accompanied by a new counsel who provides the game's signature mechanic, but Apollo Justice will return as well, rounding out the rechristened Wright & Co Law Offices. And one of the biggest things that got me excited was after the relatively short demo, the demo plays a short sizzle reel to hype for its release. During the quick run of shots, we see Pearl Fey and Edgeworth. There has also been confirmation of Klavier returning as well.

Where the hell is Maya Fey goddammit!



Meanwhile, we're still a week away from Pokemon and I believe I'll also be downloading that game. Because let's face it, I can't leave Animal Crossing for long. Since I got AC physically, it makes sense to get a lot of my future purchases digitally.

So GTA Online. You didn't think I'd ignore my three straight weeks of GTA would you? But everything everyone is saying about connectivity to the servers is true. But even more damning is how long it takes to get the ball rolling. So the servers are buggy? Let's say I wait 5 minutes to get thrown into a lobby. Now, I want to get into some kind of activity to build reputation points, cause I can't even buy a dinky micro SMG until I get to level 5. Now I need to wait anywhere between 5 and 10 minutes for even a quick search to work through a combination of searching and waiting for players to join and ready up. Ok, what if we get into a bad mission type, like two teams fighting over bad evidence and taking it back to their HQ? You think if I let the enemy take it, I'll be able to catch up unless their get into a catastrophic accident? There's another 2 minutes waiting for the lobby to settle and vote for a new activity. And then the whole situation resets.

Hey, maybe about 15 minutes with nothing to show for it besides some incremental increase to my skills because I happened to drive around a little bit. As I see it, activities labeled missions are a crock because they usually involve whoever gets there first, wins for sure. Races and deathmatch might work a bit better but I haven't gotten a chance to try yet because obviously, the servers are having trouble. In fact, sometimes in those situations, I'm stuck in what looks like a loading screen indefinitely because the damn activity can't load the players or God knows what. Whatever it is, I can't even legitimately back out. I need to dashboard that shit.

I saw the potential in one mission though. GhostDogSniperXxX (name may be incorrect) invited me to a mission to steal an RV filled with meth. For some reason, the three of us started in South Los Santos and were expected to drive all the way north to goddamn Blaine County for no other reason but hey level up your driving skill. When we got there, I decided to slowly pull up with my SUV, and take cover behind it, intending to take out the guarding hillbillies. GhostDogSniper looked like he was doing he same thing. The third guy, let's call him Jimmy, decided to ram two guards full speed with his sports car.

Needless to say, he took to the Trevor Phillips school of subtlety. So we just decided to wing it from there. Much to our bullet riddled dismay, several more hillbillies popped up from the roof. And more popped us (me) while I tried driving away with the goods.

I was certainly mad I had once again wasted my time. But seeing how the cooperative heists and missions were, I saw the potential for fun, especially with crew and friends. Maybe if we had gone with the more subtle choice, we could've safely picked off the guards and drove off safely? Then again, Jimmy had no reason to suspect that a technique he had probably been using for 10 years would eventually fail him. Why would one doubt the surprise of a car careening off the road and mowing down hapless goons?


I prefer the strategy of putting x amount of bullets into enemy until dead.

See, I'm holding out for GTA Online because there's so much more to explore if I had been rolling with people like SuperMonk4Ever or Wrenchfarm. I'd rob stores with Monk and keep my gun trained on the clerk as Monk grabbed the money since clerks seem much more aggressive and likely to shoot you in the back if you don't keep the pressure on them. I could steal a flatbed truck and let Wrenchfarm go nuts with a minigun while in the back. I could coordinate daring armored car robberies by letting my friends disable the truck, grab the loot, and drive to a clear rendezvous point where I could pick them up with a fucking helicopter where normal two-star authorities wouldn't even be able to touch us.

So online games rarely ever go on as planned. What can you do about it? But we still enjoy WoW and certain people still find something to like about SimCity I guess.

I'm just glad Chris told everyone there's a solo option. I might earn RP slower that way but it's better than wasting my time in random connections for nothing.

Oh, also, this arrived in my mail recently.


I'm lol'ing all the way to the bank.

* - Seymour doesn't want any goddamn narrative hand holding in Rain

* - By now everyone knows how stressful Papers, Please is. But what is it, mechanically, that makes it so stressful?

* - A re-intereview of The Last Ion of the House of Blue Tie-ins

S - "He's a fully licensed and world-renowned psychiatristologist of pedophilia"

E - Help the MiB get stream'd for the Extra Life charity!

P - UsurpMyProse has both self-loathing and self-affirmation about his hype for Pokemon X and Y

V - Sephilz J. Kruger had and still has no faith in Rockstar's handling of GTA Online

T - Benny D-I-sisqo  digs into a crusty old EverQuest 2 with their lvl 85 promo




"I think you belong over there."




"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant the one next to it."




*comedy sound*


~ StriderHoang

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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