So I'm balls deep in GTA Online when what pops up on my radar?
A demo to motherfucking
. Ace Attorney
. Yup, Dual Destinies has got a demo on the eShop now and this game is probably the entire reason why I bothered getting the physical copy to Animal Crossing: to preserve memory space for Ace Attorney 5, which is a digital only game for the west. And remember, we're alright with that because it's better than not getting it at all due to demanding a physical card.
The demo whets the Ace Attorney fan's appetite for smartly written dialogue in a procedural court drama. Instead of being a separate story to Edgeworth, which was perfectly serviceable in its own right (so many opportunities for Wright puns), Ace Attorney 5 is where we want to get back to. The story of Phoenix Wright, particularly continuing where 4 left off with Nick taking the bar exam and returning to the world of law. But he's not alone as not only will he be accompanied by a new counsel who provides the game's signature mechanic, but Apollo Justice will return as well, rounding out the rechristened Wright & Co Law Offices. And one of the biggest things that got me excited was after the relatively short demo, the demo plays a short sizzle reel to hype for its release. During the quick run of shots, we see Pearl Fey and Edgeworth. There has also been confirmation of Klavier returning as well.
Where the hell is Maya Fey goddammit!
Meanwhile, we're still a week away from Pokemon and I believe I'll also be downloading that game. Because let's face it, I can't leave Animal Crossing for long. Since I got AC physically, it makes sense to get a lot of my future purchases digitally.
So GTA Online. You didn't think I'd ignore my three straight weeks of GTA would you? But everything everyone is saying about connectivity to the servers is true. But even more damning is how long it takes to get the ball rolling. So the servers are buggy? Let's say I wait 5 minutes to get thrown into a lobby. Now, I want to get into some kind of activity to build reputation points, cause I can't even buy a dinky micro SMG until I get to level 5. Now I need to wait anywhere between 5 and 10 minutes for even a quick search to work through a combination of searching and waiting for players to join and ready up. Ok, what if we get into a bad mission type, like two teams fighting over bad evidence and taking it back to their HQ? You think if I let the enemy take it, I'll be able to catch up unless their get into a catastrophic accident? There's another 2 minutes waiting for the lobby to settle and vote for a new activity. And then the whole situation resets.
Hey, maybe about 15 minutes with nothing
to show for it besides some incremental increase to my skills because I happened to drive around a little bit. As I see it, activities labeled missions are a crock because they usually involve whoever gets there first, wins for sure. Races and deathmatch might work a bit better but I haven't gotten a chance to try yet because obviously, the servers are having trouble. In fact, sometimes in those situations, I'm stuck in what looks like a loading screen indefinitely because the damn activity can't load the players or God knows what. Whatever it is, I can't even legitimately back out. I need to dashboard that shit.
I saw the potential in one mission though. GhostDogSniperXxX
(name may be incorrect) invited me to a mission to steal an RV filled with meth. For some reason, the three of us started in South Los Santos and were expected to drive all the way north to goddamn Blaine County for no other reason but hey level up your driving skill. When we got there, I decided to slowly pull up with my SUV, and take cover behind it, intending to take out the guarding hillbillies. GhostDogSniper looked like he was doing he same thing. The third guy, let's call him Jimmy, decided to ram two guards full speed with his sports car.
Needless to say, he took to the Trevor Phillips school of subtlety. So we just decided to wing it from there. Much to our bullet riddled dismay, several more hillbillies popped up from the roof. And more popped us (me) while I tried driving away with the goods.
I was certainly mad I had once again wasted my time. But seeing how the cooperative heists and missions were, I saw the potential for fun, especially with crew and friends. Maybe if we had gone with the more subtle choice, we could've safely picked off the guards and drove off safely? Then again, Jimmy had no reason to suspect that a technique he had probably been using for 10 years would eventually fail him. Why would one doubt the surprise of a car careening off the road and mowing down hapless goons?
I prefer the strategy of putting x amount of bullets into enemy until dead.
See, I'm holding out for GTA Online because there's so much more to explore if I had been rolling with people like SuperMonk4Ever or Wrenchfarm. I'd rob stores with Monk and keep my gun trained on the clerk as Monk grabbed the money since clerks seem much more aggressive and likely to shoot you in the back if you don't keep the pressure on them. I could steal a flatbed truck and let Wrenchfarm go nuts with a minigun while in the back. I could coordinate daring armored car robberies by letting my friends disable the truck, grab the loot, and drive to a clear rendezvous point where I could pick them up with a fucking helicopter where normal two-star authorities wouldn't even be able to touch us.
So online games rarely ever go on as planned. What can you do about it? But we still enjoy WoW and certain people still find something to like about SimCity I guess.
I'm just glad Chris
told everyone there's a solo option. I might earn RP slower that way but it's better than wasting my time in random connections for nothing.
Oh, also, this arrived in my mail recently.
I'm lol'ing all the way to the bank.
* - Seymour doesn't want any goddamn narrative hand holding in Rain
* - By now everyone knows how stressful Papers, Please is. But what is it, mechanically, that makes it so stressful?
* - A re-intereview of The Last Ion of the House of Blue Tie-ins
S - "He's a fully licensed and world-renowned psychiatristologist of pedophilia"
E - Help the MiB get stream'd for the Extra Life charity!
P - UsurpMyProse has both self-loathing and self-affirmation about his hype for Pokemon X and Y
V - Sephilz J. Kruger had and still has no faith in Rockstar's handling of GTA Online
T - Benny D-I-sisqo digs into a crusty old EverQuest 2 with their lvl 85 promo
"I think you belong over there."
"Oh, I'm sorry. I meant the one next to it."
LOOK WHO CAME: