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LONG BLOG

CBlog Recaps of 02/08/2018 - Creative Constipation

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Hello party people. Long time no see!

I've always considered myself the creative tipe: always daydreaming, thinking about games that doesn't exist or other weird shit, etc, etc. So when I was at college, I took interest into making comics. They were bad, but I had fun making them! Sometime later I learned through EGM that people could actually make games (*GASP*), so that was my new life goal. 

As a more artistically-oriented kind of person, I tried to specialize on doing art. Fun fact: once I had to train seriously my drawing skill when I completely stopped drawing, even for fun. A few years later, after dropping out of college 3 times from different programs (Graphics Design, Archtecture, Graphics Design once more), I said "screw it, I'll use a game maker tool and make the games myself". This ended up with me making one long project over 6 months (could had been done in 2 months if I hadn't procrastinated for most of it), a bunch of small jam games, and also with myself migrating from art to coding (*double-gasp*), and I entered college one final time for the System Analysis and Development program (failed one year but graduated last December, heck yeah). 

But the thing is, as my life got busier when I became an intern while being a college student around 2 and a half years ago I eventually completely stopped making games at all. And even when my life got less busy a year later, I found myself thinking frequently about making games but never starting anything, and on the rare cases I started a project I would abandon it in a matter of days or even hours. I was even planning on making a small project dedicated to some dtoiders, but I never made anything but one very crude prototype and I don't feel like making it anymore, but I still feel guilty about it. 

So at the second week of this year I went to a psychiatrist to find out what the heck was wrong with me. Not the first time, went to others before with no success. But the currently medic gave me a preliminary diagnosis that I apparently have a very very high probability of having attention deficit disorder but without hyperactivity symptoms, and it seems to be considerably strong right now, which may explain why I fight so much with deadlines and stuff like that (and sucked at not being late when I was doing weekly recaps). I'll have to treat it both by medicine (already started it) and psychologic therapy (starts next week). The medicine I'm taking is seemingly working pretty well at first, but I'll have to increase the dose over the time, and I'm already feeling like the current dose isn't enought anymore. 

But yeah, when the medicine's effect was the most easy to notice, I felt kind of a creative burst, like a really strong desire to actually DO something, you know? However, this sudden burst coincidentally happened a few days before my laptop's graphic card passed away. I can't run Blender anymore, and I was pretty excited about leaving pixel art to start working with low-poly 3D, which I feel it fits my style/voice a lot better. I mean, I do like pixel art, but it is not the kind of work I wanna keep doing for my stuff, you know? 

Anyway, I'm stuck at 2 projects I want to finish: a small actiion game that is a complete secret to my GF (which means I can't develop it during my day offs) and a Sonic 2.5D fangame (made of only one level because I want to actually finish the damn thing), and I REALLY wanna finish both before I become a father. I'll be sending my laptop to technical support this week - will ahve to mail it to another state because the nearest authorized repair store is on São Paulo apparently, and I'll grab my late stepfather's laptop borrowed for a while, just need to know how to crack his password and backup the data for my mom. But my priority with his PC is to prepare some game dev classes for kids that I'll start teaching next friday, so I'm aiming to go finally back to gamedev on the week after my first class. 

I haven't wanted to be a professional indie dev anymore for a while: it currently is overcrowded, it is an unstable career, gamers seem to be horrible people to deal online and I definitely don't want verbal abuse and doxing to become parts of my daily life, and I'm also having a kid soon that will need his father to have a stable job. But I still want to be a hobbyist game developer: I want the freedom to make small projects, to fail a lot and make some really bad stuff, to have complete creative freedom and make what I want to make, and the freedom of not having to rely economically on my games being sucessfull. I'm open to the idea of selling some of them, but I don't want this to be my breadwinner, you know?

I'm just tired to feeling this crazy, colorful, busy landscape that is what I feel ahppening nonstop all the time inside my mind contrating with the barren deser that has been my creative output. I think I would be a much more happier person if I could sustain some form of stable creative output and productivity. I like making games, dammit!

So yep, at least I think I can have some borrowed hardware, really hope to get things back on track soon-ish. Feel free to pester me and ask about what I'm doing gamedev-wise, a little bit of pressure can be helpful sometimes haha.

 Anyway, enough with this wall of text shenanigans. Let's talk about what really matters: FREAKING CBLOG RECAPS, hot from the oven!!!!

* - The one and only true musical god from our community, Alphadeus, has woken from his slumber and blessed us with 13 pieces of his infinite grooviness. In an act of divine mercy, he made me a second song, which coincidentally is the better one from this album (no bias here at all). But the other ones are almost as good, specially Tenacity and Brawl in the Moonlight and Pie in the Sky and all the freaking rest of this, really.

S - After praising his facorite games from last year on a previous blog, Dwavenhobble decided it was time to award his least favorite games of the year that passed in diferent categories of shitiness in his new NSFW blog. And to be quite frank, most of those look really poopy, smelly games.

C - Oculin is a man of culture and enjoys the infinite, almost orgasmic pleasure that is playing videogames wih the WiiMote + Nunchuk controller configuration, and how he had his hopes raised and crushed by the latest generation. As someone who tried playing arms hands-free once at a friend's Switch, I understand his pain.

T - In this Bloggers Wanted entry, Kerrik52 enlighten us about the convoluted plot of Legacy of Kain series, and why he loves so freaking much the eponymous character, his mood swings and the reasoning behind the twisting, ending on a note of eternal rage towards a seemingly fruitless unfinished future.


And that's it! Back to the shed, see you guys later... maybe? Anyway, bye bye!

Sr. Churros

FPotD

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Recappers Schedule:


10/28 to 11/03 - NeoTurbo
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11/11 to 11/17 - Zalno
11/18 to 11/24 - Lord Spencer
11/25 to 12/01 - Salador
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[YOUR NAME HERE] - We want you!

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment

Costume Party

When it comes to October, it's pretty easy to come up with an idea for Bloggers Wanted. Halloween presents a lot of options. People will start playing horror games and marathon scary movies, but then there's the ultimate question for the day itself:

"What am I going to wear?"

Costumes are, after all, at the very heart of Halloween's fun. Whether you're playing a game with a canon character like Lara Croft, Spider-Man or a customized character in Monster Hunter World or an MMO, you're still faced with the question of what are you going to look like. Sometimes you even have stat bonuses to further complicate things, while other games have made it so you can have all the lovely stat bonuses and still make something that looks nice to you. Some folks even take this all huge step further and will realize such costumes for real-life cosplay.

As someone that posts often about Final Fantasy XIV, I have spent countless hours obtaining all kinds of armor, weapons and accessories from various corners of the game and only for the reason of it looking cool. In fact, once I have a job at 50, I feel obligated to give each of my jobs a fanciful glowing weapon before I press forward.

And then I give each job their own little pet sidekick, because I have decided my character is a Disney princess. Then I write macros that give them a blend of super sentai/Sailor Moon transformations because henshin a-go-go, baby!

But, if I'm honest, my one true love in regards to outfits in the game is the Invalician Samurai set, which I got from the Rabanastre raid. The design is pulled right from the Final Fantasy Tactics' art concept of the female samurai and is wonderfully realized.

But sometimes looking good comes at a price, too. I remember my favorite look for my Corsair in Final Fantasy XI required me wearing pants that reduced my movement speed by twenty percent and some of the best stat-based builds in Monster Hunter can make you look silly.

So this month's topic for Bloggers Wanted is costumes. Whether the costume is realized in-game or in real-life, we'd like for you to to discuss your favorite creations or tributes to characters, whether it's a custom look, a canon character or even a character skin like you'd find in Overwatch or Fortnite. You can discuss cosplays you've done, or cosplayers you admire. You can even talk about the plights of stat-based function over fashion.

The sky is the limit on this one, so head on over to our community blogs and get to writing! Use the prompt "Costume party: [Your title here]" and be sure to place "Bloggers Wanted" in the tags!

Now if you'll excuse me, I have get Bayonetta dressed up. She's heard about everyone and everything becoming Princess Peach and she would like to remind the world she was ahead of the curve on that.



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