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LONG BLOG

C-blogs of 9-28-09 and Qalamarisms

   0


Heh.

I thought I was getting off light tonight, but-- What's that you say, Admiral?



It's a trap? Why, whatever do you mean?


Ohhhh. Undocumented feature GET!

Oh well. At least I caught it before this post went live. I guess that all Haiku version of the recaps I was gonna do will have to wait.

Recaps are below.
Writing haikus isn't hard,
just time consuming.


*-Blehman reveals the SECRETS behind everyone's favorite geriatric samurai. Somewhere deep in North Carolina, a man sits weeping silently into his luxuriant beard.
*-Got a case of the Mondays? WalkYourPath has the cure.
*-Say Hi to Kauza's mom, won't you?
*-Pascuz46 posted a link to something Hive's been working on for a long time. This.... is impressive.


A-Subenu's Videogame Canon is a work in constant flux, but here's what the forum folks have come up with so far.
A-SilverDragon learned how hard it is to be mean over the last week.
S- Macaratti DOES IT WITH FURY when talking about his personal hero, Godzilla.
S-BulletMagnet's Obscurer Tribune series takes the gaming news of the future and puts it in media style of the past. Somehow, it works.
S-Psst. What'd You Get? Keep it quiet. No, you have it all wrong. It's not me that wants to know, no no. It's NihonTiger90. That's right. Keep it under your hat. He has ears everywhere.
S-Tankitsune played Postal last week. Pity him.
M-ShadowKatRegn's tribute to the Forgotten looks at a game inspired by the works of Edgar Allen Poe.
P-Drunkcast episode 10 is recording tonight, with special guest Morgan Webb!*


C-Boomsling is inviting all Destructoid members to play CoD4 for a chance to win some SteelSeries 3H headphones.
C-Destructoid Artisans would like you to show your love of SCUMM to win... well, click and find out.
C-Phalanxx is giving away a Johnson.


S-NinjaCameraman got an offer he couldn't refuse this week.
S-Garganroo's been displaced by a real mother of a storm. If you can help, I'm sure he'd appreciate it.
S-Solgrim just celebrated his first Destructiversary. Glad to have you.
S-Xyzliac wanted some advice on a spending conundrum.
I-Welcome to Destructoid, Jinrai.
I-Greetings to DrCGP, who claims he's a real Doctor. Unlike Dr. Mario. Or Dr. Tran.


N-RAB's hyped for the new Street Fighter announcement, whatever it might be.
N-Oh look! That's what it was.
N-Hairy shark confirmed for Continuum Shift. Oh, wait, no.
N-For Hriki, Steam may be the answer for acquiring lesser-known titles that are refused classification in Australia.
R-BlueXY reviewed Katamari Forever. That chiptune version of "Red Red Roses" is dead sexy.
R-NIGHTMARE 41 reviewed a few headsets meant for use with your consoles.
R-Biowisp has been enjoying TMNT Smash-up and thinks you should give it a chance.
R-Roager enjoyed the featured Indie Nation game Time Fcuk enough to do his own review.
T-Oh, Sanious, of COURSE Capcom is gonna milk Street Fighter IV until the udders are blackened and shriveled. Look at how many versions of Street Fighter II are on the Virtual Console if you need any further confirmation.
T-Sparroo's easy to please, asking for things that have already been added to Gran Turismo 5.
T-Calebyte's noticing there's less time for games just as you start making enough money to buy them yourself. Sucks how that works out, doesn't it?


A-I'm not gonna lie... Togail's latest is freakin' me out a little.
A-If you like bright colors and cute game controllers you should have a look at this poster Axor made.
M-Balzac. (Uncontrollable giggling)
F-A remake of Nightmare on Elm St.? Is nothing sacred? Well, Freddy isn't, that's for sure.



L-Handy went looking through gaming's recent history to find some characters who share his native land. My favorite wasn't mentioned, but you can see it here.
R-With two weeks until the release of Brutal Legend, Tim Schafer has had a little time to reminisce. Mooks brings us the link... this is good stuff.
R-I've got nothing against anyone who loves Okami. I don't think you'll find many here who do.
R-So, what would happen if a team of gaming's all-stars faced off against Samit's beloved New York Yankees? GTMoney has the answer.
V-Segata Sanshiro was the best marketing campaign Sega ever came up with. Truly deserving of the very first "Badass of the Month" award.
V-How to make fake blood shoot out of people. Just in time for Halloween!
C-This is kind of all over the place. You're presenting yourself as a psycho but doing "hard" gaming news. It's a little tough to follow.
C-Getting caught fapping to your own post isn't just masturbation; it's narcissism.
?-I feel like a pear with a giant mouth.


F-Not seeing the point of this, other than to try to pick a fight.
F-Don't say what you're gonna do. Just do it.

*No, not really. You crazy? She's in Japan, for one thing.

-(Qalamari)

FPoTD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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Help us spread the word out on these recaps and in turn, everyone's blogs too! (These tweets appear on Dtoid's official accounts as well)
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