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C-blogs of 7-02-09 and Qalamarisms


Here's the recaps for tonight. I'm doing the research for YTMND Thursday, but in the interest of getting the recaps live before the date ticks over, I'll edit those in later tonight.

EDIT: All done, hope you enjoy them.

Shang Tsung vs. Michael Jackson.
Maybe I should have put this one at the end.
HALO Shampoo.
What would you get if they made a Mystery Science Theatre FPS?
Looks pretty even to me.
Mario ends Luigi.
Is this on Newgrounds yet? Well why not?
Bananas shouldn't go there...
Chris Cornell loves his Wii.
Vladimir Lenin's legal training came in handy.
Is this what life was like before the internet? That's not how I remember it...

And of course, some Random Man Now, dogs.

This is better than the G.I.Joe movie will ever be.
Who leaves a trampoline at the bottom of the stairs?
Rick Moranis' audition for Office Space.
Geordi LaForge equalizer.
The power of Orange Glo.

*-Suitcoat Avenger wrote a very nice piece decrying the lack of character development in gaming. The only thing that could have made it any better would be some of his delightful illustrations.
*-I'm highlighting this as a pristine example of how you turn an enemy into a friend. take a look at the comments here and watch Magnalon work his magic.
*-Similar to Suitcoat Avenger's central thesis, Jack Maverick calls for more maturity in Mature rated games. What a concept!

A-Monodi attempts to explain why the Pokemon series is awesome. If Pokemon is the Transformers of the 90s, I can't WAIT for the Michael Bay movies of the late 20-teens. (groan)
S-Gemsi's European release list has nothing terribly exciting this week, unless you're into Tiger Woods.
A-Norm9 tells a simple yet charming tale of his initiation into the world of gaming, couched in the language of a sexual tryst.
A-LK404 posted one of the better descriptions I've read of gamer Zen, disguised as a recommendation for Grid Wars 2.
A-JT IceFire shares one of his favorite ROM hacks, a total conversion of Super Mario Bros. 3. I'm planning on firing this one up as soon as the recaps are in the can.
A-A thoughtful piece on becoming a Ghoul in Fallout 3 from David Stonecipher. It's copy-pasted from another site, but that doesn't make it a bad read.
A-SWPM just finished the Persona games and though he liked them, he had some issues with the ending.


F-Blehman posted this week's FNF lineup a bit early due to the holiday weekend. I've still gotta work tomorrow. (Trails off grumbling)
S-Mbradley1992 kicked off a poopstorm by questioning the tendency to be harsh on failblogs. My two cents are about halfway down the comments.
I- Toadster is an engineer for Intel, and loves him some TF2. Welcome to Destructoid.
B-Happy birthday to Halfleft. What do a frog, a monkey, and a half naked man have in common?
B-Happy birthday as well to King3vbo. BigPopaGamer puts the T & A in birThdAy.

N-Nihontiger90 found evidence of a crossover between the frantic action of Team Fortress 2 and the simulation of events based on dice manipulation. My Soldier rolls 20s.
R-Tavendale wrote up a nice review of Blood Bowl. If goblins playing football is relevant to your interests, have a look.
R-Mbradley 1992 wrote sort of a review for Fracture. I was considering picking this up as a discount title, but now I'm glad I didn't.
D-Why isn't the new Monkey Island game being made in 2D? Why are so few games made in 2D anymore? SurplusGamer gives you the lowdown.
R-This retro review by Molotov Cupcake examines a lesser known Game Gear RPG called Defenders of Oasis.
D-VeksandSilence gives us an inside look at Survival mode in the Xbox game they're programming.
R-Trev breaks down the recently released Blazblue for people who (like myself) are terrible at 2D fighting games.
R-WalkYourPath's review of Overlord 2 somehow manages to reference Madonna, Judge Judy, and Burke from Aliens completely organically. If the game is as entertaining as this review, it may end up on some GOTY lists.
R-Unangbangkay also gives his review of Overlord 2... I really need to man up and finish the first one.
T-Silverdragon1979 wrote a Sterlingesque (Or perhaps Wardroxesque) post taking Final Fantasy 7 & Metal Gear Solid to task for having the GALL not to feature dinosaurs. I just spent wayyyy too long looking up the enemies list for FF7 to try and prove him wrong. The T-rex I remembered was in FF8, I guess.
D-Hey, gotta start somewhere. Smasher Imp is learning the Python language. See here the fruits of his labors.
T-Boatz played Prototype and Dead Space instead of going to the prom. Good choice.
T-Another copy-paste article from David Stonecipher. This one deals with the special infected from Left 4 Dead.
T-And one more from the same site by another user, Pamela Blalock. This deals with virtual fishing in MMOs. I submit that there is no activity less conducive to entertainment than pretend fishing with pretend alcohol.
$-AaronF lets those without PS3s know about a pretty not-bad deal.
$-JoeCamNet is selling off some of his massive collection of games and gaming paraphernalia. Make an offer on some classics.

F-I think we can all pretty much agree that Uwe Boll is the worst thing to happen to cinema since Leni Reifenstahl. Discarded Couch Sandwich watched Alone in the Dark so you don't have to.
L-TeknoDwarf was bored and made a list of 73 potential Harry Potter titles. Scary Womanizing Pig Mask responded with a fantastic dick joke and won everything, forever.
S-Crunshii shares one of the slickest iPhone cases I've yet laid eyes on.

R-Super Saiyan 18 calls for more pettiness and fanboy horsewaste in the form of mascot war. I'm sure leaving a lot of negative blog comments today.
V-I dunno, just looks like another Blazblue post to me...
C-I'll be saying this a lot today, but this could really use a little more effort.
C-While the effort to share some news is commendable, a little polish would have helped this post out immensely.
C-Clean up, grammar check, extend, expound, etc.
C-This could have been a proper review, but something this short is really more suited to the forums.

F-Um, 'K. Why?
F-Ok. I gave you guys a pass on the other Examiner reposts, but if you're going to do it at least reformat the articles for this site. There are no pictures "on the left."
F-I usually don't fail intro posts. Usually.


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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!

Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.


1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.

Community Announcements
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Help us spread the word out on these recaps and in turn, everyone's blogs too! (These tweets appear on Dtoid's official accounts as well)




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