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LONG BLOG

C Blogs of 10/29/13 + Wrenchisms

   0


The Worst Halloween Costumes I Ever Wore -



1. Gay Robin

The boy wonder was a role model to a young Wrenchfarm. Daring, smart, and able to handle the worst convicts and psychos of Gotham City, Robin embodied all the qualities I wished I could in my most private fantasies.

But his costume was a custom made battlesuit of integrated high-tech gadgets and bulletproof super-weave. Mine was basically a pair of ladies tights and a red tunic that Velcroed together at the crotch. 

I never felt further from the Tim Drake ideal than I did fidgeting with my Velcro crotch desperately praying that nobody was watching. 



2. Dime store Link/Robin Hood/Peter Pan

Zelda 2: The Adventures of Link left an indelible mark on my childhood. It was a game I was obsessed with and the first thing I bought with money I earned myself. It was only natural that I would want to dress like my hero for the Holidays.

Unfortunately, there might have been a little break down in communication between me and my mom. What I ended up with that year wasn't the iconic green tunic, glimmering sword, and Triforce emblazoned shield of my hero, but a sad mash up of fantasy characters. Like a Dollarstore knock-off toy trying to avoid copyright law.

A green corduroy cape, a tasseled brown shirt, green tights (again... hum, what was it with my mom and those?), a cheap plastic bow and arrow set that snapped in my hands, and the pointy green cap of the Boy Who Never Grew Up. I limped up and down the street for a handful of houses before calling it a night. Link may always finish his adventures with a full item kit and a wallet swelling with rubies, but I had only a handful of candy corn and a few spare candy necklaces to mark my sad journey. 



3. Cardboard Robot

The classic old school robot. I rocked this look when I was four years old, proving that we never really change.

Tin foil plating, a coat hanger antenna, Pringle can arms, my costume was actually pretty swag. 

Sadly, it provided ABSOLUTELY ZERO protection from a devastating gut punch delivered by the neighborhood bully. It was at that tender young age that I realized appearances don't matter unless you can back them up. After all, what kind of killer robot lets some future multiple-offender/gas attendant take his candy?

I swear, if I ever have a kid, his/her robot costume will have a functioning plasma pistol.



* - I would watch this movie.



A - The true Zen master finds balance in his life - by dicing up all the FPS games with the occasional Fighter or 3rd Person Adventure

A - But mud slinging is a time honored tradition in this industry!

A - Things seem creepy, but at this point we just don't know enough (anything) to really get upset. We'll have to wait and see how all this drama plays out.

P - Pocketoid is back with a new website and a contest! Also, I think they are a wee bit excited about the Pokemens.

A - Buying a console at launch? What do you think this is, the mid-90's?

A - Really couldn't disagree more with Jack and his opinion of Gone Home and Mass Effect 3 (that multiplayer was crazy fun), but I appreciate that he found something to celebrate about these games.



C - Are you the very best? The best there ever was? Maybe you should prove like a real man - by throwing small innocent animals at each other to fight to the death.

C - Hey, it's me! Check out my SPOooOOooKY Halloween give away for your chance to win a few frighteningly good games!

C - Some Dungeon Dasher codes up for grabs! Might be gone by now, but you never know!



E - The Spark Rising Kickstarter is concluding with a bang, a 48 hour live stream to drum up that last push!



R - The bizarre rating system used in this blog truly does remind me of the criminally insane.

T - I've been enjoying GTA: Online, but this sounds like some straight up bullshit.



F - Check out this interview with the creator of the Walking Dead.



V - Scary Granules has some LP vids I unfortunately did not have time to watch. Look fun though!




- Wrenchfarm
FPotD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
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Reserve Recappers:
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Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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