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LONG BLOG

C Blogs of 10/22/13 + Wrenchisms

   0




Nanbu's Dear Destructoid blog the other day seemed to touch a nerve, I think we should talk about it.

I don't know if Dtoid really has changed. Yeah they don't call upvotes "faps" anymore and the famous "Also, cocks" tagline has disappeared off the front page. Some of our favourite writers have come and gone it's true - but Jim's still out there being the most boisterous voice in "gaymes juurnalism", Holmes keeps talking about Wii games, and Conrad's still grooming his fine moustache.

But the real problem I have with Nabu's arguement and the Dtoid she, and some of the other people in those comments described, is that I'm not sure that place ever really existed.

To hear people talk about "old Destructoid" you'd think it was the wild fucking West. Some backwoods rodeo where nobody talked about anything BUT games, people were free to be as big of an asshole as they liked, and there was nary a mod in sight. A Shangri-La where core gamers never had to hear about industry or social issues, never had to be critical of their own hobbies or ask any questions. A blasted out wasteland of cock jokes and insular defensiveness.

The place these people are wistfully describing doesn't sound like a place I'd ever want to hang out in. It certainly doesn't sound like the Dtoid that hooked me in 4 or 5 years ago. A gaming site that managed to balance a fun, open, and occasionally abrasive discussion while still tackling every aspect of the industry. A site that successfully floated both humour and intelligence.



People say there is way more emphasis on industry and social issues these days. Did they somehow miss the years Anthony Burch wrote here? Have they been ignoring Johnathan Holmes for his entire career? Jim's opinions may have changed in recent years, but he NEVER shyed away from addressing these issues in the past. The fact that Dtoid takes on these topics is nothing new.

People say "I only want to talk about the games, none of this political crap!" (and then go and write 4000 word blogs espousing their own political views of course). Well, if you don't want to deal with that kind of stuff, that's fine, you don't have to. In fact you have a couple of great choices. 1) Don't read or comment in articles you don't want to read or comment in. 2) Join GameFAQs.

I keep seeing that somehow Dtoid has been neutered, that comments are gagged. I don't buy it. Dtoid is still the best big-name gaming site for open and frank discussion. This site posts opinion articles you'd never see on IGN or Kotaku. Our mods are handpicked from the community and include some of our most bizarre and beloved contributors. Folks that will write short horror fiction about Murphy Brown's demon baby, or post a blog with tits flying free in the breeze and suggesting that top rank CoD players should fight in panties and a knife. Our community moderator keeps has a caricature of himself as a giant bathrobe wearing penis on his blog. These are our heavy handed oppressors running around as the PC Police? Give me a break. If they delete your comment, your comment was probably shit.

This is a site that will promote blogs like Handy's Gaming's Greatest Cocks one day, and the next something like BrotherDon's thoughtful ruminations about race. I think we still have the mix of humour and serious discussion that made Dtoid interesting and different from all the other gaming sites on the market.

I don't know or understand what some people are asking for. They want games taken seriously, they want games to be considered as worthy works of art, or at least a legitimate way for an adult to pass the time. But as soon as anyone applies the kind of criticism that kind of respectability requires, they pull an about-face and start caterwauling that they're "just games" or "don't take it so seriously!"

To me, it sounds like they want a site with nothing but cock jokes and no attempt at anything more. That's all well and good if that's what you want. But that's not Destructoid, and it never was.

A - Nah, Nintendo doesn't need all that Poke-dosh. The Wii U is selling fine right?

E - Jim in a loin cloth, Conrad's sentient moustache wrecking shop, nervous Holmes paying timid compliments PERFECT.

E - For the chullin! Manasteel is taking on Extra Life again and needs your support. Let's make this the best year yet.

T - If there was ever a game that needed a "self-inflected machete wound" button, it was Far Cry 3. I wanted to punish that fucking clown every time he opened his mouth and reminded me I was playing as a complete douche.

V - Morale of the video don't be a high strung asshole.





-Wrenchfarm

FPotD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
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TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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