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LONG BLOG

C-Blogs of 1-04-10 and Qalamarisms

   0


Hm? Yeah. Yeah. No, I'm ready. It's just... been a while, you know? I feel like I'm-- out of practice. Rusty. Yeah. Well, it's been a full month, can you believe it? Between work and illness I haven't done a recap since November. Well, yeah, I'm still a little sludgy in the brain. That happens when your head's fulla snot, y'know? I'm sure it'll come back to me... No, don't say that. Don't say it's like riding a bicycle. I ever tell you about this one wipeout I had when I was learning how to ride my first bike? It felt like I had scabs over about 120% of my knees. Like there were parts of the air surrounding them, parts completely unconnected to my body that I had managed to injure and that my body had decided to heal. I thought I was gonna end up looking like Torgo or something.



Huh? Oh, the mike's been on this whole time? And the teletyper? I've just been transmitting this conversation through the internet for anyone to see. Great. And why isn't YOUR end showing up? What's that? Because you're not really here, you're not actually talking to me, and you're a figment of my imagination. Well, wonderful. I suppose I should stop talking to myself and get to work before the madness consumes me completely, then. No, I'm pretty sure you aren't the angel of Death. Look, just because Samit finally played Portal, that doesn't mean that the time of purification is at hand. Yes, I'm certain. Put that scythe down, will you? Right. And the bolt-action rifle. Yes. Good. Thank you. Now get to work.


*-Walkyourpath's customary excellence is this time focused on intergender relationships and how gaming isn't quite yet out of its adolescence, still shoving girls on the playground.
*- Major Tom has a quandry. What would you do, O Destructoid reader?
*-While two of these blogs have precisely dick to do with gaming, they're entertaining in other ways. SimonSaysDie has the first...
*-And Blehman has the second. Lord... how many Friday evenings... how much precious, irreplaceable time did I squander watching Full House? The mind reels.


A-Goodgamer77 would like 10 minutes of your time to discuss the future of our chosen medium. Will you hear him out?
A-I avoided this piece on Silent Hill: Shattered Memories due to the large spoiler tag. ZCDrike's story seems to have been well recieved though, judging by the comments.
A-Autumnwindz took a philisophical look at M.A.G. It's very well written, but could use something to break up the wall'o'text.
A-True story: (Citation needed) Lara Croft was originally going to be a male character. Then the developers realized that if you were gonna be looking at an ass for 5+ hours, it may as well be a nice ass. BrandNameCommercial explores how far we've come since then... or perhaps not.
A-GoretexFogg wrote about his introduction to gaming. The year, 198X. The platform, Macintosh. The game: BOLO.





W-Infinity's End was involved with a really awesome Make-a-Metroid contest. You should have a look at the winners, they're pretty spectacular.


E-Everyday Legend lets those in central Florida know that B-kin round two is nigh.
C-Like the car games? VVVGamer would like to talk to you.
I-Welcome to SailorRaine, who has a giant beaver.


N-Quotes taken out of context are fun, aren't they? This hit the front page later, minus the harsh invective and overreaction.
N-Rumors concerning Fallout: New Vegas haven't been easy to find... until now. TheJesusNinja has some potentially juicy tidbits.
R-Not sure how to classify this, so we'll call it a review: Cozmod takes a look at a game called Space Milkman.
P-Crawdad's Revenge played M.A.G. and shares his impressions of the beta.
P-renegadePanda did the same thing, but went into much greater detail. So far, this isn't sounding like a system-seller.
R-NightV spent some time slanging off on Entropia Universe. Protip: don't name your game after the slow heat death of all that has ever existed.
R-Lazyhoboguy reviewed several PS3 games, including the Eyetoy.
T-Isay Isay made some resolutions for the coming year.
T-So did TsunamiKitsune.
T- Faith gave us her personal Games of the Year.
T-MellowBunny feels that gaming has been a constant in her life, a source of strength when nothing else could be counted on. Needless to say, I agree.
D-Doctor Insidious is taking a programming class, and shares a few things he's learned, though not necessarily in school.


F-A novel (part one of two) by Engles about Doctor Who.
F-Shadowstew compares the film The Hurt Locker to Bomberman and Minesweeper.
F-WanderingPixel gives us an update on his Bioshock film script, and a big funny wad of the Venture Bros.
S-The Excel bought something awfully nice at Magfest. I bet it was awfully expensive, too.


R- Darthix had a pretty good New Year's resolution. A game a week, that's all we ask.
C-Is this an advertisement? I am honestly, legitimately unsure.
?-I actively avoid all references to professional wrasslin.' No offense to fans of these male soap operas... my best friend is a huge fan. It's just not for me.
?-JustKarol made up some awards and uh... pretended to have an awards show? I guess?


F-I'm gone for a month and THIS is how you greet my return? For shame.
F-Right back atcha, cupcake.
S-This is a couple of months old, which in internet terms makes it predate the universe itself. Still kinda funny though.
S-Pretty sure this was on the front page already.
F-Content, people, content. Twitter was made for people who only write 3 sentences a day.


M-I hugged Tubatic. A year later.




-(Qalamari)

FPoTD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


Community Announcements
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@CblogRecaps
Help us spread the word out on these recaps and in turn, everyone's blogs too! (These tweets appear on Dtoid's official accounts as well)
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