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C Blogs of 08/13/13 + Wrenchisms


I've always thought of John Carmack a little like a comic book character. One of those otherworldly brilliant mad scientists; Reed Richards casually brewing up a new type of fission in his lab some lazy afternoon. Lex Luthor inventing entire new fields of research as a stepping stone in a bigger plan. The most fantastical depictions of Nikola Tesla, accidentally causing the Tunguska Event while maybe fiddling around with teleportation technology.

Alright, so the guy makes really cool game engines and tech. Maybe that's not up there with the orbital beams and kryptonite armour, but it's still pretty cool. He does have his own personal space program, and that's a pretty Bond villain/Dr. Doom-esq move.

Maybe the Id star has fallen a bit in recent years, but I still remember the kind of swagger and presence Carmack and his team held in the industry. I remember when other developers would wait around for the next big leap from the man behind Doom and Quake and ride his coattails for the next three or four years. Giving birth not just to cheap imitators, but some of our most beloved games. It's easy to forget that Half-Life, and by extension Valve, TF2, and the entire Steam system, wouldn't exist without Carmack and his revolutionary Quake engine.

This is a guy who shapes generations, who sets the course of the industry.

So you have no idea how excited I was to hear over the course of Quakecon that he's taken up the role of Chief Technical Officer at Occulus Rift.

If you've been reading my caps or following my blogs, you probably know that I'm nuts for the Rift. I'm head over heels for it. I mean, 3D head-tracking VR, that's IT, that's the dream right? The imagined end-goal of a hundred Cyberpunk books, the fancy future-tech of Battletechs and Gundams, the long promised and never delivered dream of our late-80's to mid-90's childhoods right?

I see a lot of snide comments and scepticism about the Rift online. A lot of people out there are dubious that there is really an audience out there for it, if there will be enough people interested in plugging in to such an extreme length, or willing to pay $300,or whatever it will end up costing, on a fancy peripheral. And I just don't get it. To me, the Occulus is obviously the future. Maybe you won't want to play every type of game on it, but how could you not be excited for a real at home VR experience? Am I crazy?

Well if I am, I'm in good company. It does my heart good to see an industry giant like Carmack throw not only his support, but his super-charged brain, at the project. This is a guy who has always been two-steps ahead, always knows where the tech and industry should be going. If he thinks the Occulus Rift is important, it must be something to keep an eye on.

Or maybe he just spent a lot of time reading the same nerdy novels and watching the same bad sci-fi as me.

While I was majorly stoked about the Oculus Rift stuff, the rest of Quakecon was a more sedate affair news-wise. I'm not sure what is going on with Id and Bethesda. I know PR departments need to be careful with what they let slip out and they want to be able to control and shape the message like the mind-bending parasites they are as much as possible, but I think maybe these guys are playing things too close to their chest.

No news to be had about Doom 4. Nope, not even a peep. They wouldn't even say the name Doom 4, tip-toeing around unspecified "current projects" and precious little "developments". Hey guys? Everyone knows you're working on Id Tech 5 and Doom 4! This isn't "the game that shall not be named" under penalty of a wizards curse! Just say, "yeah Doom 4 is coming along and we're not ready to talk about it" and that would be the end of it.

Unsurprisingly, all is quite on the Fallout 4 front. I didn't think they'd say anything, but there is always a little hope. However, I was shocked that Bethesda didn't give us even a few crumbs about The Evil Within which seems to be slipping further and further away from anyone giving a shit. I can understand they want to keep their big dog behind closed doors until the time is right, but The Evil Within could use some life-support and exposure before everyone completely forgets about it.

I guess Quakecon just isn't set-up to support big reveals and announcements, but it seems like such a shame. They have all these great talks, all these industry luminaries sharing their knowledge, they pack a bunch of hotel ballrooms with their most rabid and receptive fans. The entire scene seems perfect for teasing the next big title or project, but they just let it pass. What a pity.

* - Do not pass GO and proceed directly to THE FRONT PAGE! Corduroy Turtle shows us all how it's done with his massive informative (and hilarious) Spelunky Mega-Guide! Essential if you plan to get your mining on, and even if you're not a Spelunky fan, I highly recommend you check it out, still a lot of laughs to be had.

* - Colton posts a very emotional blog about his struggles as a developing games designer. His game, Fez 2: Better than Zippy Push Kid, is pretty crazy. Not sure if I understood the message, but I did see a crazy drawing of an old ladies "gamer nipples", so there's that.

A - Steescribbles posts a first time blog about his wonky PS3 hard drives and all the fun and frustration of having your saved games wiped repeatedly. Make an intro post man!

M - Are you looking for a polite team player who can powerbomb a mother fucker at the drop of a hat? You need to game with AboveUp.

A - Piracy is such a harsh word CaimDark knows all the best ways to emulate the Wii, PS2, and Gamecube. Only use it for games you already own! Riiiggghht.

A - The GameGear was a fucking dog of a system, but man, back in the day that backlit coloured screen was something else. They had a pretty good case of "doing when Ninten-don't" on their hands, too bad it murdered batteries at a rate that would make the Zodiac killer blush.

P - Armlength Interviews A podcast you watch on YouTube. (They do know what a podcast is right?)

A - Ditto is your pan-sexual non-gender identifying saviour! CASE CLOSED.

P - That image... My brain is never going to be fully clean again.

A - It's hard not to view Sony's rush to shoehorn a touchpad into the PS4's design as anything other than cynical feature-padding. It remains to be seen if they'll use it for anything interesting.

E - Now this is neat! Glowbear and Panza and looking for YOUR best game related creepy pasta, horror stories, and urban legends for a podcast spectacular. SPPPOooooOOOOoOOOKY! I'll try to come up with something.

D - More video content at Dtoid! Niero puts out the call to local San Fransican Dtoiders who want to donate their body.

R - Capsized kind of fell off my radar last year, but I always dug the art design. It's by a Canadian indie, and Voex gives it a thumbs up, so I should probably still check it out.

T - A look back at the much over-hyped puzzle game Zoop. After watching the gameplay video I still have no idea what the hell is going on. I don't think Tetris really had anything to worry about.

T - No need to run out and buy the remastered DuckTales from Way Forward, Capcom perfected the formula back in '89 and it tastes just as good as when Grandpa used to play it.

C - The characters of Cognition. What kind of crime thriller would it be without a humourless morgue attendant, a dogged ex-boyfriend looking to get back together, and a mysterious serial killer with an overly elaborate modus operandi?

R - A little Birthday and anime update from PopetheRev. Happy B-day! Extra funky props for Deltron 3030.

R - More anime stuff!

V - I hate blogs that have zero content and just link to a YouTube video! But, in this case it's a pretty good look at Binding of Isaac and I can't bring myself to fail it. You got lucky Strummerdood!

- Wrenchfarm

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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Mondays - Lord Spencer
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Reserve Recappers:
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Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!

Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.


1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.

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