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LONG BLOG

C Blogs of 06/25/13 + Wrenchisms

   0




What a magnificent bastard. Hannibal, you're the undisputed champion of television this year.

If you haven't been watching this kick-ass series, you NEED to get down with it. Whether you're a fan of police procedurals, horror, psychological dramas, or just needy woobies and the psychopaths who love them, there is something for you in this show.

It isn't often something around my home makes it to the "must-see-TV" list. My usual viewing habits mostly consists of "must-eat-this-pork-sandwich-is-anything-on-TV?-TV" and "oh-I-missed-an-entire-season-of-American-Dad?-TV." But Hannibal sliced open a hole in my chest wall and slid it's way into my heart.

Anytime I watch a really great crime show, I'm just reminded of what a bummer L.A Noire was. Look, I get it. It's hard to make a real "police game." There is a delicate balance that's hard to achieve. It has to be gamey enough to be a game, but deep and plot driven enough to mean something. Player choice should always be respected, but there has to be a limit on how far the player can stray from the investigation, or at least a firm nudge now and then to get them back on track.

It's how we end up with ridiculous multiple-fatality car chases and gun fights plopped awkwardly in the middle of an insurance scam case. It's how we end up with multiple-choice dialogue that consists of one right conversation chain, and a bunch of others where Phelps screams like a madman.

But I still dream of a detective game that does it right. Maybe it's a matter of inspiration. L.A Confidential and Two-Fisted pulp novels don't mesh into a great game apparently. You get a weird stew of GTA meets Dudley-Do-Right. But maybe something taking it's cues from Silence of the Lambs with the larger than life personality of Dr. Lecter or the modern remake of Sherlock with Benedict Cumber-face and all his pissy inhuman behaviour would be a better fit.

A plot and world that lends itself to narrative jumps and nearly supernatural criminals. Where the protagonist has a reputation for being unstable, at the fringes of law enforcement. Tolerated only barely by the more professional and conventional investigators. Make it believable when the protagonist doesn't act exactly like a by-the-book lawman instead of constantly nagging the player about it.

That said, Deadly Premonition might be the best detective game out there. Yeah, the controls are garbage, the characters bizarre, and the plot often nonsensical, but it all makes sense in the context of that world. I never felt it was out of line for Agent York to waste a day creeping around neighbourhood windows or chatting with the regulars at the bar. When he got into a gunfight with ghostly moaning apparitions, I could take it as a matter of fact part of his life. Of course he's going to fight ghosts, this is Agent York we're talking about, a man who gets his best leads from his morning coffee.



You might laugh, but as an audience we're willing to put up with some crazy stuff so long as we like a character and the logic of a show or game stays consistent. It's not all that realistic that Will Graham is able to reconstruct a crime scene and intuitively know the killer's motives and likely next move based on an "empathy disorder" and a keen eye. Sherlock proves himself to be damn near psychic, or even a fraud, because of his superlative deduction abilities (to the series credit, this actually becomes a major plot point). Hannibal gets away with an awful lot of murder without ever leaving any nasty bloodstains on his clothes or picking up any defensive wounds that might betray his criminal actions but hey, we love the big ol' cannibal too much to call him on it.

I want to see another detective game. It would break my heart if L.A Noire and the troubled Team Bondi managed to strangle the entire genre while it was still in its crib. But maybe the direction isn't to go bigger or more real, but stranger and more surreal.

That, and Wendigos. Always feature a Wendigo killer.



* - I'm not hugely nostalgic for the old days of Sega, but if you don't get an erection while listening to the Streets of Rage soundtrack, you simply aren't human.

* - I love games, but damn if the industry doesn't have it's share of shit-stains. All this creepy harassment of women, whether at trade shows or over Xbox Live, has to stop. It's making us all look like garbage.

* - Dat character art. Dat Freddy Mercury. I'ma Cling Together with this blog and wish I was playing Tactics Ogre right now.

* - I dig Elsa's kick-ass, take no prisoners, attitude to feminism and her refusal to be a perpetual victim. But at the same time, I can understand how hard it would be for a women to openly defend herself in a social/creepy environment like being awkwardly propositioned or touched at E3. Anyone who has had to face the choice of being the buzzkill of calling an asshole on his mean spirited joke and ruining the family Christmas party, or letting it slide and let him get away with it can probably relate. Even worse for women who work in the industry with these people. Even if it's warranted, ruining the party mood with a big open handed slap could easily get one labbled as "hysterical", "sensitive", or God-forbid, "a bitch." When defending yourself could cost you your career, it's not easy to stand up. Change in the industry has to come from all corners, women need to stand up for themselves, men need to back them up, and misogynists and creeps need to be marginalized and fully told that we won't stand for that shit.

A - Uhf, some tough cuts on the block for Smash Bros. Personally, while I love all the characters, I think it's better to have a balanced and polished game instead of a huge roster where half the characters are broken one way or another. Besides, between Megaman and the Wii Fit Trainer, who else do you need?

A - The Ouya launch has been a blunder from top to bottom. I want to believe that a small independent company could get into the console biz, I really do. But the Ouya just isn't the horse I want in the race.

A - Sometimes we enjoy things we know deep down are bad. It's why you'll dig through the bottom of a bag of cheese puffs, or in JoyfulSanity's case, plug over 60 hours into FFXIII.

A - The random and arbitrary laws of German censorship continue to baffle me.

A - Captain Scramble is getting a little uncomfortable with the amount of brain and viscera in his gaming diet.





C - When it comes to kickstarter and backing projects, it's best to follow your gut. If a project seems scammy or slimy, it probably is.

C - Skid Row Trash isn't happy with Microsoft yet.

N - Saint's Row IV isn't making the cut in a land founded by criminals and settled with genocide. I smell another "The Worst Thing About Censorship is ---" coming up.

N - Pixeljunk Monsters is getting an HD re-release!

T - I was going to snark on this blog until I saw that you have to pay for skill trees and specializations. Cosmetic crap is one thing, mechanics are another. Yuck.





C - Ugh, I hate it when people start blogs with apologies or hostile "if you don't want to read 3000 words of -blank-, leave right now." It's such a turn off. This is a long winded response to a year old video about a pretty niche topic, so yeah.

F - Poorly written and riddled with spoilers. Another pet peeve of mine is when bloggers take a super aggresive tone, a "fuck you, I don't really want to write this or care if you read it." If you don't care, don't post. Shit blogging is shit.


-Wrenchfarm

FPotD
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

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