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LONG BLOG

C Blogs of 04/22/14 + Wrenchisms

   0




I wrote a thing about secrets in Dark Souls, I hope you all like it. It's weird to think that after almost three years of constantly blathering on-and-on about it, that might have been my last blog about Dark Souls.

Because come Friday, I'll be leaving Lordran and resettling in Dranglic.

I've kept myself in the dark about Dark Souls 2. Studiously avoided the wikis, stayed away from the Streams, shunned the spoiler blogs. I'm ready to go into it mostly blind and deaf, just the way I like it. I want to stumble in Dark Souls 2, I want to fall. I want to not know where to go, to get killed by cheap traps, crushed by bosses until I figure out how to survive on my own.

What I really want, more than anything, more than I would prefer to admit, is to just play Dark Souls for the first time again. I've never had a game that resonated with me so well. It took everything I love about games, drew inspiration from my favourites, and implemented multiplayer features that I only dreamt about before and put them all in one place. It was like a gift.

I'm sure I mentioned it before in a Wrenchism or in a blog, but when I was a little boy, I remember reading a book that took place in an evil arcade that was clearly written by someone who didn't actually understand how videogames worked. Past the spoon-fed "videogames are evil" message, the thing I remember most about that book was how characters in the arcade games were able to leap from one gameworld to the next. How a player in one game could suddenly appear in another player's game and torment them. In the book it led to real life teen murder (as hysterical moral pieces always claim whatever they are against will lead to) but I remember just thinking how cool a system like that would be. Decades later, I'd be laid out in a marble hallway in Anor Londo, sucker punched by an invaders Crystal Homing Soulsmass sorcery for the first time, thinking it was the coolest, and most frustrating, thing of all time.

Dark Souls was the game I always wanted to play. It gave me everything I knew I wanted in a game, and a lot more that I never realized how much I was craving until it gave it to me. It provided a mysterious world I could never get enough of and my mind has been constantly chewing on it ever since. I will never forget my first playthrough of Dark Souls, every step filled with dread, every boss an unconquerable calamity, and the constant feeling of awe and mystery as I explored one wonderful/terrible environment after another. Every time I thought I at it all figured out, I'd learn something new. 



What I really want from the sequel -- and what I know it won't, can't, deliver – is the experience of that discovery all over again. If I could have the memories I have of playing Dark Souls surgically removed and replay it again from a blank state, I'd do it in a heartbeat.

I know Dark Souls 2 will be amazing, but it won't match my first playthrough of Dark Souls. I can't unlearn the lessons it taught me.

But I can enjoy employing them in a new world, and that will have to do.

* - The Gameboy will probably outlive us all. That thing was made like a tank.

* - A great look at the film Gaming in Colour, examining LGBT culture in gaming.

* - An interesting look at dating sims. I think SongSeven might be taking the analogy a little bit far, but goddamn do I find it interesting when people come out of the woodwork to shout down blogs like this. I mean, what is it about this kind of conversation that seems so threatening/provoking to some people?

S - Project X Zone is monstrously overstuffed, needlessly verbose, lashed together on a shoestring budget, and Nanashi is STILL playing it. He knows what the problems with the game are, the question is, if he's still enjoying it, do they matter?

A - It's the Terpocalpyse! The Apocerraria! Whatever you call it when a Terraria world is blown asunder! Sounds like the latest update messed up the game bad, but in an amusing way.

A - TheKodu has his finger on the pulse of a XBLIG controversy. Some gross business going on.


E - I really need to play TF2 again. It's been far too long since I shanked somebody with a butterfly knife.

R - God, I remember Dynamite Cop in the arcades. Me and my brother wasted a lot of quarters spraying each other in the face with pepper spray and kicking each other into elevator shafts. Good times.

M - I laughed until I cried. Such a shame about BF4, I really enjoyed BC2 and BF3.

C - Really don't dig blogs that just drop a YouTube link and a whack of follow/like/subscribe info. Put some blog-meat on those bones.

? - This blog includes some awesome info about GTAVcheats. Speaking of, you may want to check out these cheats. While you're at it, maybe follow a link back to these cheats. I can highlight more text to redirect you to another website about cheats. Just please, click back, feed the machine. Cheeeeaaaatttsss....

? - Errr? This blog seems to be  wholesale lifted from a racing website. I mean, the poster is kind enough to link back to the source so it's not like she's trying to take credit for the infographic, but it still seems weird to just add a sentence to an infographic and post it like a blog. Maybe this person is related to the website in some way.

V - Two drunk guys playing video games. Why watch it on YouTube when I can just go over to my bro's place?

L - Corgis are only second to Eskies on the cuteness meter.




- Praise the Sun, no fail today!

Wrenchfarm
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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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