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LONG BLOG

C Blogs of 04/01/13 + smurfoolisms

   0

Well aren't you a spunky bunch today? Between celebrating St. Fool's canonization and Dtoid going Redditoid, y'all seemed to be having quite a larf. With the day winding down, and the delicious half-price Easter candy tempting us all, let's have a rest and a reflect on what this day is really about. I don't know what that is, but someone might. Reflect on that very likely half-assumption.

I was kept fairly busy with the CAPS, partially because there were more blogs than usual, and partially because it was hard to keep track of them, because of Redditoid's stupid voting thingy. Shit jumpin' around and whatnot. So I haven't had a lot of time to think about isms. I played some games, but really, I've just been meditating on the MGSV trailer and playing that Garbage song over and over. Extraordinary people.
I don't know what I'd do without Kojima. Well, I do, but I will still be sad. Perhaps one of the most important people in the gaming industry ever. Anywhere ever.
April fools?



April CAPS bring May FAPS

* - ShadeOfLight delves into the only MMO to truly get it right(in his eyes): Rakion. Will we ever see another Rakion?

* - Sweaty Dungus models for his drunk father.

* - FOR DOYLE

* - No one stop him now.

* - Johnny Luchador a.k.a. America's National Treasure reviews the much-anticipated Grand Theft Auto V. I, for one, am even more excited!

A - *SPOILERS* VredeGaming tries to make sense of Bioshock Infinite. Incredibly spoiler-heavy, guys. *SPOILERS*

A - DaviesAntony loves platformers (good man,) and shares the what & why of a few of his favorites.

A - dunnace copypastas the FUCK out of his Top 5 Least Anticipated games of 2013. Pretty funny, yo.

A - Kyle MacGregor is the voice we should all be listening to. A revolutionary of his time.

C - VredeGaming is giving away Bastion on Steam. Watch a video:win a thing.





C - Sir Davies' AMA. I would have failed, but he had to leave to masturbate. I can respect that.

C - Chris Carter's AMA. Ask him why he plays too many videogames!

C - Gobun's AMA. Ask him about his balls. And spelling. Then downvote his answer.

C - Epic-Kx's AMA. Ask him about fab manga men, or his fine silkiness.

C - JohnnyViral's AMA. Ask him about his anger, or running long. Or how he is cool & shit.


S - Occams has a short one, but it's his four-year Fooliversary!

C - long john fucks up some cookies. I've been there, man. Go hug this poor bastard and look at his gifs.

V - Indie games are dead. So is Joshua Derocher.

T - Retrofraction does not think Mechwarrior Online handles F2P properly. Do you agree? Wrenchfarm?

N - Saya No Uta is finally coming out guys! I actually don't exactly know what that is. So someone please explain it to us!

T - Bryson Baker has some weirdly-formatted thoughts about Watch Dogs.

D - Marcell Borges Mota is pimping a Kickstarter which I assume he's involved in.

V - New Killer Is Dead trailer is fucking glorious.

A - I don't know who Michael Towns is, but I like the cut of his jib.

A - ninjapresident blows us all away with his pixel art. Featuring pixel Hamsune Aziku.

A - Sanic is no longer relevant. Goodbye Sanic.

A - Such artistry.

R - Mr Andy Dixon shares some ADORABLE pics of his kids with his other, sleazier family.

V - Of all the reactions to Teenage Pokemon, this is probably my favorite.

? - What hell is this?

V - Alright now it's just getting 'diculous.


F - Yes vary funni joek

S - Patrick Hancock hasn't yet figured out how candy works yet.

F - Stop hatin' you punk bitch.

F - Niero Gonzalez (read: who the fuck is) tells us just exactly how to make a grilled cheese sandwich. Oh, and FAILS.

F - I recognize a cry for help when I see it. Do we need to talk, babeh? Finish shitting violently then jump in my bed.

F - Society has failed SeymourDuncan17. At least he dresses like a beast.

F - Everybody's eating stuff but not sharing :(

F - Sounds cool maybe.

F - SHIT

F - Favorite Fail of today.

F - Least favorite fail of today.

F - Phil didn't get this for me for Festivus. What a dick.

F - I'm tired you guys. Let me get some sleep.

F - Should "Gem" be capitialized?

F - In your dreams, man. Jim could have anybody he wants. (I think he wants J. Holmes?)


http://youtu.be/F09OXhmUMRI



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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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