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LONG BLOG

C-Blog recaps of 2/16/13 + 2/17/13 + 2/18/13 + Fried Spam-gasms

   0




My dad used to make fried spam and eggs for me for breakfast. He knew I fucking that salty slab of jiggle. But he made me eat that shit. It was supposed to teach me to appreciate any food. Just kind of made me pissed off instead. Dick. Totally learned to appreciate food though. Dick. Still hate Spam though. God.....

SOOOOOOOOOO MUCH SSSSSSPAAAAAAAAAAAAMMMMMMMM!



Seriously. Eff those guys and gals doing it, six ways to Sunday. Especially Samit. Dick.

What ya all been dooooiiiiiinng? Enjoying Aliens: CM? MORE LIKE ALIENS: BM! AMIRITE? Oh god you lying assholes. Why? Why the fuck can no one take that franchise seriously anymore? Was the goofy ass 4th movie and the AvP movies? Did that make it ok to shit on almost 30 years of Sci-Fi glory? God I'm so mad at Gearbox and all the lies surrounding this game. Yes, I should of seen the writing on the wall, but i seriously thought Gearbox of all people would put out something playable and fun. Couldn't even shoot through open doorways and railing, the first few days. UGH! A lot of wrote blogs about this wet, sopping pile of crack head feces, detailing all the bullshit on this. What we should have seen. Man, I wish I had opened my eyes. At least in my case it wasn't too bad of a loss. $30 digital on PC (GMG with a coupon and credit).



The backlash from this and how hard people are going to Gearbox is very interesting to me. Personally you fuck with me once, I'm done. Your product will be bought used or heavily discounted. Especially with the garbage tied to this little debacle. FFS Gearbox, did you really think this was ok? No one should have that much goodwill with it's customers to be able to put a turd like CM out and be forgiven. Not in my world. We will see though when Borderlands 3 comes out. I'll wait. The one that will suck, is if we get a real Brothers in Arms. I'm dying to finish Baker's story, but not enough to forgive this travesty and lack of customer respect. The thing that just kills it for me, is the quiet. You're going to push this turd across the dinner table to me and not even stand up and own up to it? I FUCKING SAW YOU DO IT STUPID! Nope. No one is doing that. They think we will all forget. Most probably will. Not this dude. Too old and been burned too many times. The saddest thing about CM for me is the missed potential. You can see it everywhere. Ahhhh fudge-sicles.

Let's do some caps and try to enjoy ourselves.



*- Pedrovay2003 shares an awesome article on Dead Space and it's evolution.
*- Ex275w has some great thoughts on criticism in the gaming community.
*- Nintendoll got the call. Part one of an Omeganaut's journey.
*- SeymourDuncan17 talks of the great Rock Band legacy in this beautiful blog.

P- Scary Granules Ep.9: Little Kebab Shop of Horrors
A- Capitalistpig points out, that we shoulda seen disappointment coming with Aliens: CM. Yeah, we should've. Had faith in Gearbox though...
A- A nice write up on the digital divide and Gaikai from Pixielated.
S- Bargain Binge is a new series from Zer0t0nin. Here's #0
S- And here is #1 of Bargain Binge. Got some MK Komplete up in hurr too. Some Syndicate too. Man that was a pretty fun game. Especially co-op. Not great, just fun.
M- This 16-bit game WAS fucking terrifying now that I think about it. Thanks for the reminder Flamoctapus.
A- Ryoma90 will NOT be impressed by Sony's new offering. Put a stamp on it.
A- Strider has some Fire Emblem tips.
A- Crackers The Wizard shares some thoughts on Kickstarter.
M- Somebodies scared of Zelda.... There is some freaky looking stuff in those games...
A- GlowBear discusses mystery games and such. I just kept staring at Ms. Lansburys fine ass the whole time. Tuned right out. Sorry GB. She too damn sexy.
A- Mynameiismud uses Colonial Marines to show why patience is a virtue.
P- Zero Cool Ep. 67: Baconmouth. Awesome name. Awesome.
S- Perfidious Sinn is going to a tourney. To suck.
P- Secret Moon Base Ep. 31: Onion Domes feat. Robert Dickau
M- Oliveira Clayton shares his Horror Story.



I- A proper hello from My Enormous Hairy Downstairs Kitchen.
E- Weekend Warriors - Smurfee's hard nips edition.
C- Rabid Walrus's favorite bears in gaming.
S- Snealiv shares the shitty story of getting fired from Press2Reset.
C- TheKodu doesn't understand why some folks stick with ole Microsoft.
S- Give Nathsies props on the gig and vote for the next blog series.
C- TheAceOfSkulls is burned on pre-orders.

$- Bibbly reminds up that Infinity Blade is free until the 22nd.
T- BobofMainframe gets sucked into Montowers.
T- Stubbleman spoils the crap out of Persona 4: Golden.
T- Daata6 has some thoughts on Colonial Marines.... You and me both, buddy.
D- ArkCo Weekly News 11 - Networking.
T- Son of BaconSandwhich (SUCH AN AWESOME NAME) notes the difference of two games 14 years apart (Old one wins!).
T- Johnel Lance shares some Digimon knowledge.
T- Fancy that, more Colonial Marines thoughts. It's like we all got fucking lied to or something.
T- TehMadness shares the Goddamn beauty of Goddamn Journey.
R- Troy reviews Dream Drop Distance.
T- Five things Capilistpig picked up from the Vita live stream.
T- Zelda Maniac's mind is ablaze with Little Inferno. Great game.
N- The full 481 game list of Ouya titles coming. Going to be a lot of garbage in there. But some good stuff too. Just a LOT of garbage.



A- The gaming soundtrack of Rwh1hay's life. So far.

V- Thoughts Whilst Doing The Washing Up.
R- DAS SPAM HAD INFESTED US!
V- HistoricNerd dropping some F-22 knowledge on our heads.
L- So it was Samit... all this time..... you mother fu.....
V- Travis Crawford shares a Guild Wars 2 vid and some Oracle build info.
V- HistoricNerd shares the history of the military and gaming.
V- Mikki Saturn returns and wants to know if you've played Mega Man 4.



S- Shoulda saved it until ready.

Blah, blah, blah, ending.



-PhilKenSebben



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About CblogRecapsone of us since 11:27 PM on 07.02.2008

About Cblog Recaps

Schedule:
Mondays - Lord Spencer
Tuesdays - Larxinostic
Wednesdays - DeadMoon
Thursdays -OrochiLeona
Fridays - Gamemaniac3434
Saturdays - AmnaUmen
Sundays - Riobux

Reserve Recappers:
Gajknight
LinkSlayer64
ShadeOfLight
Torchman
TheBlondeBass
Hypno Coffin

Current "Bloggers Wanted" assignment
Fake it until you make it

This month's bloggers wanted prompt is something we stole. You see, by stealing this idea, you have no idea how truly inept I actually am. By pretending to know what I'm doing, I have clearly used my ill-gotten status to meet such big-time celebrities as Darlington Woolie "Pie Stealer" Madden or Sara from [insert pixel indie game studio here].

This month's bloggers wanted was inspired by the internal enjoyment we had at reading TheBlondeBass' promoted blog on faking conversational anime knowledge. And now it seems as good a time as ever to pretend to know what's going on since the new Fate/Grand Order game launched and qtoid is talking about it. I am a big fan of the character design of Artoria in the blue dress, or Artoria in the suit, or Artoria in the red dress. But seriously, we enjoyed the format so much that we want to ask the community for their own ideas at faking it at all sorts of things.

But this prompt is not just for anime, of course. The video game industry is fractured with all sorts of niche interests that only an insane rich person with no job could realistically know everything about. This month's bloggers wanted is about taking a subject you want to offer advice on faking knowledge about in order to help the greater community, for better or for worse. If this doesn't sound serious, don't worry, you're not supposed to take it seriously. You don't have to be an expert in whatever you talk about any more than Bass is an expert in anime.

I seriously don't know if that was a compliment or an insult.

Offer advice on anything you can expand your mind on. Want to help people get into character action games? The more Ss you put into its grading system, the cooler it is! Want to convince people to get into the Neptunia series? Just say "Nep-Nep!" and you're all set to convince people of your technical knowledge! Can you get someone into RTS game by just talking about your APM? Someone's bound to believe some random technical jargon you made up!

To get started, start a blog and title it "Faking it: [your blog title here]." Then you can be as serious or facetious as you want as you provide advice on any number of things: learning how to play fighting games, trying a long-running franchise you've probably neglected, or even explaining a game's timeline. Heck, you can probably seriously try on that last one and we still wouldn't believe you.

Good luck this month. Only true cowards rely on facts. Real heroes pretend to know what they're doing!



Current Community Contests
PREPARE TO CONTEST - The Master Gaming List Birthday Giveaway!

Good Morning/Evening/Yesterday, my Friends/Robots/INSERT WAIFU HERE,

More or less a week ago, the Master Gaming List turned one year old. I had a speech prepared, but the blog editor ate it four or five times over the last few days, so I'm kind of winging it now.

Despite all of the threatening and cajoling I initially made to get you all on the list, I never imagined I'd still be adding names a year later (and by "you all", I mostly mean GajKnight). It was kind of a ridiculous undertaking at first, trying to make a semi-permanent, easily-updatable list of everyone's contact info. I'm not even sure what everyone was being hyped over last year that got me to do this.

That said, I'm glad it came together, and this list has lead to many other things for me on Destructoid; whether it was me becoming our laziest, cuddliest Community Manager, or our laziest, cuddliest Reviews-type-person, I have always enjoyed the full love and support of this community.

In thanks, and with the assistance of quite a few others, I've gathered up a number of game keys to give away to you all.

The Contest

I've never run a contest before, so let's keep things simple. Write me a haiku about your favorite game.

Rules

1. The haiku must not include the title of the game.

2. I will accept any other form of structured poetry if you are unable to haiku but can iambic pantameter (you monster).

3. Please state what key you are going for, and a backup if that one is taken (admittedly, it's quantity over variety here)

4. The tentative end date of the contest will be August 13th, and will be bumped at least once during that time.

Available Keys

-Stellaris
-Aporia: Beyond The Valley (Multiple Keys)
-The Witness
-Citadel: Forged With Fire (Multiple Keys)
-Armello
-Undertale
-ABZU

Thank you to all 282 of you who have made the Master List a successful project over the past year! I will continue updating it into the forseeable future.


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