Boredem: The Ultimate Motivator

Holy. Fucking. Shit. Three words, three sentences. That's how damn bored I have been for weeks on end. Why? Well, in short, I'm flat-ass broke. More broke (Yes, broke, not broken.) than a redneck's backyard car. More broke than eggshells on Halloween night. (Thanks you prick kids. I'll hunt your asses down and make you lick that shit off of my car...) More broke than an old PC jewel case that you stepped on by accident one day. More broke than...well, I'm as broke as I am out of analogies. However, between checking random forums and swearing I'll finish the last chapter of Valkyria Chronicles, I've been slowly working my way through my established catalog of games.

So far, my Wii and PS3 (barring that damn cheap last chapter of VC...) collections are totally beaten, meaning all I have left is my backlog of old PS2 JRPG save files (Kill me now...) and my good old collection of NES, SNES, and Genesis games. In fact, before deciding I was actually bored enough to write a new blog (Just kidding...), I beat Mega Man X3 for what seems like the 20th time. However, I also have games I've never even touched for more then twenty minutes in my collection, many of which I'm working my way through.

In fact, the last games to feel my wrath include Castlevania III: Dracula's Curse, by far the hardest Castlevania of all-time, but also my personal favorite after beating it, Zelda II: The Adventure of Link, which I think is actually superior to the first Zelda, Ducktales, and even Vectorman. All of these games were ones I was very familiar with, but not one of them have ever been beaten. It's really a freeing sense, like I'm getting a monkey off of my back; after all, I spent upwards of 5 bucks on each, which isn't much, but when you consider my collection of NES and SNES games (Let me count them, hold on a second...43 games. 24 on NES, 21 on SNES), that shit adds up.

This isn't to say I have an amazing collection or anything, but I do have more than an average person. However, unlike the average person, I actually have been going through these and beating them slowly but surely. Why is it that we buy these older games, play them for 15 minutes or so, and then never pick them up again? Perhaps it's simply the differences in design that games from the past have, maybe its their extreme difficulty, maybe their charm wears off soon since we have newer, more advanced technology now, but whatever the reason, we nickel and dime ourselves to death on these things.

Not that that is a bad thing, but sometimes I wonder if I buy them to play them or just the have them. I'm not really a collector or anything, but there is a certain appeal of seeing that cart or that box on your shelf; in fact, sometimes I think that is my true motivation for not pirating games; I have nothing to show for it. Are we that fickle? It seems like everyone with a camera and a false sense of nostalgia is just waiting for the chance to show off their collection of NES-era videogames, as if it's some sort of badge or rite of passage.

In fact, I'm no less guilty of these odd practices than anyone else, however, let me defend myself. When I bought Mega Man 6 a couple months back, it's not because I wanted to finally finish my NES Mega Man collection (Well, okay, it was a factor), but because I really, really like Mega Man! Much like how Jim Sterling's amazing show points out, sometimes I wonder if the easy access to emulation programs has lessened the value of older games. It seems like not many people see the value of owning these treasures anymore, especially when about 90% of purchasers will never actually beat the games.

Whatever the case, it seems that these old carts have been turned into mere legends, people talking about them, yet never actually playing them. When was the last time you beat Super Mario Bros. 3? Have you ever even best it once? Owned it even? Sadly, I'm going to guess that people will either say no, or simply lie and say yes to keep their cred intact. I'm included in the category; I own it, but I've never actually beat it. I get stuck on the last Bowser stage, which is quite a bit better than the majority of people out there.

Remember the days when beating Super Metroid in under 3 hours was a badge of honor by which many people judged if you were a true gamer or not? What happened to that? Whatever, enough nostalgic ranting. The point is that it is a sad day when absolute, soul-crushing, apathetic boredom is my motivation to beat what are general considered classics. However, the worst part is that is that it's almost worse then those who don't value oldies at all, or rather on the flip-side, evangelize them and say gaming has gotten worse. There I sit, in the middle, but at least I'm actually playing Mega Man 2 instead of bitching about it.

Also cocks.

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Canti-sama   

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