Hello there. Yesterday I wrote my "stuff about me"
blog. It was fun, and some of you seem to to have liked it. However, when I started writing about depressive stuff I got a little carried away and left out some of the more interesting and/or colorful stories I'd considered including in the previous blog, so without further ado, here are a few more stuffs (yes, I know that's not a word... right?) about Caimdark!
Barely months after arriving in Norway, local police once accused me of importing illegal narcotics and told me I had the right to remain silent.
I'm not one of those "cool" criminals in a Law and Order episode that smirks at the police and brags that "you have nothing on me", no sir. I'm a square, boring, law abiding guy who doesn't drink or do drugs (except for copious amounts of sugar and Coca Cola. I really need to kick that shit) and even pays attention to the speed limit, so those were easily the scariest words I'd ever heard in my life until then, though they were quickly topped when the officer told me I "probably wouldn't go to jail". He meant to reassure me, but it had the opposite effect!
My psychiatrist mother, bless her heart, is a very well meaning mom who has an unfortunate tendency to act first and ask questions later. One day, we talked on the phone and she decided I needed to get back on some medication, and I said ok, but in my silly mind, that meant I was going to get an appointment with a local doctor and failing that, research what she could send me and the right way to do it.
It turns out she mailed me the medicine on the very same day, and that damn near fucked me. One day I got a letter from the police asking me to show up for questioning in connection with a case of narcotics importation. At first I thought they wanted to talk to me first and then decide how to proceed, but when I got there I was read my rights and found out that technically I was already a defendant!
I strongly suspect that as soon as the officer started talking to me he realized I wasn't your average drug dealer (me showing up in response to a letter and making sure they were up to date on my contact info may also have helped that impression, not to mention I don't know many drug dealer or users who buy drugs over the mail using their REAL NAMES and REAL ADRESS lol), but he had to do his job, and I'm very happy to say the police was always very polite to me at all times, because I was scared out of my wits and I might have confessed to killing Obama if faced with a bad cop routine.
Fun fact: during my conversation with the police, I asked: if all it takes for someone to be charged with drug smuggling is a package with illegal medicine in their name, does that mean that anyone that wants to get back at anyone, say an ex-girlfriend or a boss, can simply buy medicine abroad (the whole problem was that my mother sent me stuff that is legal pretty much everywhere else except in Norway, as I found out the hard way), mail to the victim and the unfortunate soul is automatically slapped with a drug smuggling charge? That doesn't sound very reasonable! The officer didn't have an answer. He'd never thought about it that way, but agreed it was "strange" lol.
Long story short: after a few weeks, the police called me to let me know they believed my story, the prosecutor would drop the case and my record would stay clean. I also got a well meaning but by then wholly unnecessary warning about Norway's strict medicine laws, and I finally started sleeping again. Phew!
I crossed a train track in the Czech Republic with my wife at 3am and her foot got stuck. Yes, a train was on the way.
Many years ago we visited Prague but stayed in a hotel in a nearby city. It is a beautiful place, if somewhat challenging for clueless tourists like us. There are few English signs, even less English speaking people, and the language looks even more alien than Norwegian!
So, after spending the day in Prague, we took the train back to the hotel, but ended up taking a train that, thought it would eventually get there, went seemingly everywhere else first, and so the ticket was way more expensive than the ones we had. We didn't have enough local currency on us to pay the difference on board, and we were told we could get off and take the right train that would come in 10-15 minutes, but it was the last one and we had to hurry!
So we got off and asked an officer in a little cabin where exactly to take this train. Guess what happened? Communication challenges! I understood "bridge", "yellow house", and not much else, but he kindly made us a drawing! Oh, I also understood "run, 10 minutes".
So we did! Problem was, it was difficult to run with snow up to our knees. We got there on time, but we had to cross the track to get to the right side, and there wasn't a platform or anything, we just had to walk over the track. Not fun! Because of the snow we couldn't see anything, and my wife's foot got stuck on something. It took maybe 30 seconds for her to get out, but let me tell you, it felt like 30 hours. Literally a couple minutes later, the train arrived. Happy ending!
Strong winds tossed my petite wife on the streets of Germany, caused a traffic accident and turned a trip from Germany to Norway into a 3-day adventure.
Back in 2007, my now wife spent a few months studying German in Germany, and I stayed a few weeks with her. That year, there was a huge storm in Europe that knocked lots of trees and killed lots of people. We were going to spend a weekend in Norway, and while the storm was ongoing, travel was so far functioning normally. On our way to the train station, the wind decided to have a little fun and suddenly became really strong. I managed to hold on to a tree, but my wife was literally pushed into traffic. Terrifying shit! Now, dramatic as it sounds, it wasn't like Twister or anything, I didn't hold on to a tree while my leg danced horizontally in the air, and my wife wasn't tossed several meters in the air in slow motion, it was simply like someone had pushed her into the street. By the mercy of all the gods, the incoming car stopped before hitting her, but that caused a small traffic accident. No serious injuries, fortunately.
A British border control official questioned me for 20 minutes.
If this looks like a mundane event barely worth mentioning, that's because it is. Definitely doesn't make for a story as good as "I was almost arrested for drug smuggling!", and indeed it wasn't a huge traumatic event or anything. No abuse, no rights violation, just a stern faced but respectful British dude doing his job, but the way it happened was just so bizarre, I definitely remember it as a "colorful event". It was also the first time, everywhere else I went it was just the regular stuff, like "what's the purpose of your visit" or "let me see your ticket and hotel reservation", if that, so it made an impression.
This happened less than two years after the London bombing, and I understand everyone was freaked out, but I can not for the life of me figure out what the hell he was looking for.
I was with my mother and her friend for a weekend visit to London. At first he asked just the regular questions, then they got gradually more strange. Are you married? How long have you and your girlfriend been together? Where do you study? Is it a private or public university? What does your mother do for a living? Does she work in a hospital or in a clinic? Is it a private or public clinic? And on and on it went.
What could possibly be the relevance of knowing which particular specialization of Doctor my mother was or if the clinic she worked at belonged to her or to someone else? Eventually he let us in, but the whole thing was just surreal. He also seemed to have a curious hard on for "public or private".
While we're speaking of Britain, I have a question for British readers. Something I noticed on the streets of London was that the gray-haired, older police officers were generally friendlier and quick to smile, while the Bin Laden generation tended to have stern faces and looked a bit paranoid. Does that make sense to you or am I just imagining things? I hope so, that would be a bit sad.
This is it
No more facts and stories about CaimDark. Honest! I hope you guys enjoyed them, and if not, you're in luck, as this will be the last one.
See you around, Dtoid!
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