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Wii, how do I hate you? Let me count the ways...

Wii, probably the most popular console on the market for its "scarcity" and funability, it is a force to be reckoned with. But it isn't save from its own share of fail. But how much trouble does the little guy wiggle into? What is wrong with this small white device?


I kid! I thought that would get some of your panties in a twist as expected, huh? Now for the bulk of the Wii issues.

1. Stop living in the past, I want new! Here I thought I was buying a new console, not an older one. New means modern right? I guess that begs the question, was HD modern in 2006? In 2008, it sure is. And wait a minute, isn't Japan suppose to be like 100 years in the future with technology? I guess you are just planning on trying to trick us with this "480p" business, huh?

2. Speaking of technology, you are right on top of your game but fail to realize the era of your ways. You don't have HD but you have Wi-Fi, a "new" technology that not everyone has. This is good but alienating those without such advancements is bad. I mean, no ethernet port? Not everyone has the money for the Wii and a wireless adapter. It just seems backwards to include Wi-Fi but no ethernet port and no HD. New angle, schmangle. Sometimes gamers don't want to deal with the potential unreliability of Wi-Fi.

3. You look like one, you take what they take, and yet you aren't one. Why is there no DVD playback inside of your pretty little self? You take DVD shaped objects, why not take DVD's? Sure, everyone has a DVD player everywhere in their house but others, like myself, do enjoy watching a movie and then playing a game immediately after without moving on the same device. I guess call me Mr. Lazy-Pants.

4. Want some storage space? I got all the room you could want, aslong as you don't want much. The Wii features a harddrive, if you want to call it that, to hold saves and all sorts of other downloadable games. The only problem is the very shallow pond it resides in. Right now it can serve its purpose but pretty soon it will be over flowing, creating much headaches since there is no support of external harddrives or SD cards (yet?). But why is this? Way to go with (not) using technology yet again.
Ghetto shopp'd picture courteous of work computer.

5. Am I that much of a liability? Do I really need all that protection? I have never felt so "mothered" than I have with the Wii. When it first came out, it seemed there was a new strap to mail away for every other week. Now we get controller condo...errr, plastic Wiimote sleeves, to help us hold onto it. What's wrong with my hands? You don't trust them, do you? I think I stopped caring about getting these after the second strap. If we sent away for the first thing, shouldn't you automatically send us the other ones without request?

6. "When you're walkin' down the street, and you see a little ghost, whatcha goin' do about Ghostbusters!" I need to call them cause I think I have a bit of ghost problem. There is times when I turn on my Wii and choose to start up the disc and everything goes blank. The power light says it is on but it doesn't do anything but sit there dead. No movement is heard and my Wiimote can't turn on. Ummm...what? Hard restart ftl.

7. There is just simply too much of you, and here I thought you were simple. Wasn't this console suppose to be about the ease of use with it? Now we have tennis bracket shells, balance boards, guitars, fishing poles, steering wheels, golf clubs, boxing gloves, zappers, blasters, pistols, auto rifles, nunchucks, swords, shields, lightsabers...the list just goes on. I thought I got a Wii to play video games, not go to war. Do you need all these to enjoy it? No, but the box has a picture of them so it means something, right?

8. Are you ready to sense me? *waggle waggle* Did you feel anything? Hold on, let me try again. *waggle waggle thrust* Nothing? What's wrong with this thing? It sure is turned on...then why doesn't it work all the time? I swing and swing, and waggle but it isn't always there. I guess I am just holding it wrong and that is NOT what she said. They work, just not as precisely as we had hoped for.

It is all about the promises here. Like the one your mom promised me last night. We are promised so much greatness and in reality, we get little of it. Sure the Wii means well and delivers most of the payment but loan sharks want it all back in full. Unless you are related, then they just smack you upside the head and move on. And once again, this doesn't even tackle the operating system issues.

You could probably over look the "inferior" graphics technology for fun gameplay, but I want to waggle, waggle with the best of them the first time around. The Wii is stepping up to the "big leagues" with some stumbling. Don't come into the yard if you aren't ready to bark. You just might get served!

There is a reason...
There was a purpose for these posts, granted the origins for it were a little hazy but it inspired me while writing it. All these consoles have issues, they aren't perfect. Some of these concerns are bigger than others but they ALL should be addressed nonetheless. If people don't make a ruckus over something, nothing will happen. The makers will continue on with their happy money making lives without a second thought if people just eat it up regardless, horse armor I have an eye on you.

Having all three consoles, I want reasons to play each one, otherwise that would be a waste of money. I don't want to be afraid to touch one or the other either. Sure they frustrate me in one way or another and have made me want to throw them out the window at one point, but that doesn't mean there's no love. I love my time with BioShock, TF2, and Gears on 360. I am infatuated with setting to the skies in Warhawk and beating hobos in Condemned 2 on PS3, and Wii...I abhor you. I kid again! I obviously don't need to say anything about that console.

So when you start to say something about how your console is the best, just remember that it has problems too. Except for PC Gamers, those bastards. Those gaming rigs are wretched pieces of garbage that are nothing but big money pits waiting to give you nothing but World of Warcraft and uninspired, generic FPS games.
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About BlindsideDorkone of us since 11:46 AM on 11.10.2006

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