Open heart surgery hasn't been so much fun since Trauma: Life in the ER came out. Nothing like a little one handed open heart surgery after a few beers.*
*if you have no idea what I'm talking about check out http://gamejam.bossastudios.com/
Playing this game got me thinking, this could be an entire genre of video games. Imagine, the struggle to get a glass out of a crowded cup cupboard with the objective of not breaking any, or having to take exactly three squares of toilet paper from the roll without ripping them somewhere down the middle and then trying to stuff that square between your legs or around your legs and then wiping without getting shit smeared on the hand. It would be fucking glorious. Other games could include:
- Open The Door
*get keys from pocket which has a pocket knife, and some tissue and candy wrappers. Throw it all away and hen you have to fumble with the keyring.
-Turn your PlayStation/XBOX/WiiU On
*plug the fucking thing in, pick a game to play, take it out of the case, get that thing in the console and get it to run
-Take a Piss
*open the toilet lid, lift the seat, unzip your fly, GOGOGO, don't hurt yourself, - flush, wash your hands, don't be a douche, wash your disgusting hands - Future DLC: Take a Piss Girl; undo that button, unzip that fly, pull those pants down, address your panties like a real lady, and do your business, centered on the toilet, wipe so you don't get AIDS, pull em up, do em up, flush, unlatch the door, wash up - chunky DLC WORTH THE BIG $$$$
-Open The Bag of Chips
*OLD DUTCH - fucking box of chips, open that shit, grab a bag, open that fucking bag, eat a fucking chip, and another, until you eat the whole bag, then you crumple the bag and throw it across the room at your garbage bin/can/corner.
*boil water, grab a tea bag, place it in the kettle or the cup, don't be a douche, pour some creamer if you're a douche DLC: Loose leaf tea, in a a clear glass bot with an infuser, this DLC requires the Drink a Beer
full version with the Get a Drink
DLC to operate
-Drink a Beer
*get it from the fridge, get the bottle opener magnet off the door, open that shit without spilling it DLC available at launch; Get a Drink
aka the cup-from-a-cupboard-DLC
-Pick Your Nose and Don't Die Doing it
Pick a winner! *get in there and don't kill yourself
-Sign for Your Parcel
*signature required, sign for it, take the package, close your dorrs
-Do the Dishes
*holy shit why
I COULD GO ON
IF YOU CAN THINK OF ANY LET ME KNOW IN THE COMMENTS
I will gladly be the designer for these titles.
I will accept if asked because I am a professional who brushes and flosses.
Unfortunately I'm probably going to change my life and career path soon. So professionally I will be stuck being pre-professional, but as long as I think, feel, and act like a professional, I am professional.
LOOK WHO CAME: