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LONG BLOG

im a 14 year old girl

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Oh goodness, I thought I had weeks to write this.

Alright. Howdy crew. I'm Beyamor. And for the love of god, someone reel Diverse back in, I am not a 14 year old girl.

So, I figured it's high time I put together an into blog. Actually, high time was probably a year ago today when instead, I wrote up this as my first monthly musing. It promptly received no comments, a lack of interest I later discovered would follow me through my career at Destructoid. Undaunted, I stuck around and I'm damn glad I did, though the rest of you probably have mixed feelings.



I don't know what brought me here. A numinous hand, maybe, or a comment on IGN. It doesn't really matter. I found myself in a place of good humour, thought, and genuine passion. Even though I'm a lurker by nature, it wasn't more than a month or two before I jumped in with that first blog, eager to join the ranks of such camaraderie. Once again, thanks for that warm welcome. On the whole though, I continued to rest mostly in the background, commenting on the front page when an article begged for my insight. Like a lightning bolt of wit and wisdom, I struck with my sporadic comments. The internet was staunchly unimpressed.

But I couldn't quit the site. It became part of my daily ritual, sifting through the latest news items and their comments, drinking in the personality and charm. It was intoxicating. I remember being amazed by the sweet mess of it all, and wondering how that one girl found time to comment on everything. Eager for more, I found my way back to the c-blogs whose choicest fruit I harvested gingerly. It was a different place, that community-driven storm of opinion and speculation, one teetering between divine clarity and shocking madness, often settling for both, and I was scared to plunge in too deep. But time wore on, as it does anywhere outside of an 8:30 class, and I eased myself in. I threw out more blogs and even began to comment on others.

Like I mentioned, I'm a quiet guy, happy to lurk. I could say what I wanted within my blogs, but crossing into enemy territory was taboo, too daunting to consider, even if those "enemies" were some of the friendliest people on the planet. Still, I steeled myself and took up arms in the form of words. Whether it was a piece that sparked an opinion in me or simply something too funny to pass by, your words drew me out. The more I read, the more engaged I became.


On an unrelated note, for whatever reason I've started drawing. Apologies. I know looking at these things is like getting punched in the eye with a grapefruit.

Even now I can't fully come to terms when the love and energy put on display. On a good day, I read just about every blog, even the sickest filth, and I'm forever impressed by what you create. I've burst into laughter, I've been moved to tears, I've gaped in awe, but more than anything I've thought and grown. I can't say enough how much I respect and appreciate everything you, all of you, do. You're an amazing bunch of individuals, compassionate when called for, callous whenever's good for you, extraordinary with each breath,

But screw you, this intro's about me. Where was I?

Right. So I've been here for a year. And over these twelve months, I've done some blogs. Watch out, because the next paragraph grabs a fuzzy coat and pimps my blogs like you wouldn't believe.

Looking back at my early works, some of them are nearly unreadable. It's with no little relief that I note things haven't changed much. Now and again though, I liked something; now and again, I hope you did. And let's not forget, now and again, uh, yeah. Regardless of the abysmal quality of whatever I produce, I want to thank each of every one of you who has ever taken the time to read my blogs. I want to do this until my lungs shrivel up and my fingers break off. Thank you. I also want to thank the people who have never read my blogs. You're the smart ones. The future is in your hands.


Let's face it, I'm the coolest man in the room.

Had I mentioned I've also had the unimaginable honour of being passingly involved with some of the coolest stuff on the internet? Extra hugs and kisses to those cats, even if one of them is a jerk who beat me to community interviews and did a far better job of it than I could've ever managed just to rub it in my face, and the other will probably rule the world with a blue fist one day.

I'd love to be able to name everyone who's left footprints in or yellowed the crisp snow of my mind, but there is a metric crapton of you and I'd be a fool to try. Of course, as you must've expected, that's exactly what I'm going to do. Apologies, I won't get everyone. Still, let's see. There's the recappers, each of whom I've come to respect and adore. Folks I admire, like Om Nom for his brilliant JOURNALISM, Enkido for the intelligence in his writing, and Elsa for her talent in flooding the blogs with underwear references. Peeps what've made me grin like Stevil, Handy, mrandydixon. The Stereotoid boys, who're empirically the coolest kids in town. Blogging gods like Wry Guy, who sculpts the community with his level words, and Blehman, who decimates arguments with a single, exceptionally long cat. Walk Your Path, MegaStryke, and Kauza, whose ascension assures me everything is right in the world. Most everyone with an avatar on the front page. All those basement dwellers. The new faces joining every day. And just a boatload of people without whom I couldn't imagine this place. Kraid. Celica. Corduroy. Gareth. Beverly. Caspulex. Xandaca. randombullseye. AwesomeExMachina. Poe. ekm. Fame Designer. Steezy. Chaotical. AlphaDeus. Kraby. GamesAreArt. wanderingpixel. Knutaf. BulletMagnet. GoldenGamer. PvPPY. Monodi. Grafkhun. Pedrovay. Tubatic. Antwhan. KwikPwn. Blasto. CaptainBus. Alakaiser. Fightmejimmy. Magnalon. Lazerpig. Funk. TheCleaningGuy. Robotbebop. TheDRMaster. Sentry. Char. ChillyBilly. EdgyDude. Mix. Lazaro. Etirflita. ToiletDuck. Manasteel. RetroSoldier. Panda. And you, if you're not already in there.

Oh god, why did I think that wall of names was a good idea?

And this is where I get my soap box. I don't know if there are any stalkers reading this - hell, I don't know if there's anyone reading at this point - but I want to encourage, nay, demand you do some commenting, throw a blog together. Jump into our arms and we will embrace you. Y'know, provided you follow rule number eleven.

When I think about it, it's been quite a year. I've had downs, some of which spilled into gaming, but enough ups to keep me going. If I can get far too "real" for a minute, there've been times when I've struggled with finding a reason to push on, but Destructoid has given me something to care about. Whether it was a Rev Rant or a provocative blog or a poignant piece of art or any of the other innumerable works you've created, something always breathed a relish for life, and for games, back into me. Don't infer overwrought tales of melodrama from that. The short of it is, I'm happier today and some part of that is because I can come here to read and to write. From the pantheon of the front page editors to the c-blogs to the seedy underbelly of the site, God has made a beautiful world.

I guess what I'm trying to say is, well, I love you.

Also, cocks.

No, wait, that's not what I-


So unfailingly manly.
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About Beyamorone of us since 1:10 PM on 06.24.2009

I知 a gamer. Take a minute and get over that shock. I can say I知 an Xbox man, though I値l support anything that advances gaming (I love you Sackboy). I致e also got a DS Chunky, so I can take this whole nerd thing on the road.

As far as genres, shooters and western RPGs top my list. Halo, Fable, and Morrowind, for instance, rock my socks hard. Of course other things, stuff like Animal Crossing and Kingdom Hearts, do their share of stocking rocking.

In the world outside of buttons and pixels, I知 an engineering student (that nerd thing I mentioned? I do it hardcore) on the west coast of the Great White North. I知 a fan of a harder rock, bands like Breaking Benjamin and Hurt, though I値l kick it (very much figuratively) to stuff ranging from The Fray through Franz Ferdinand to Five Finger Death Punch. Optimus Prime is my hero, but I do love Starscream. Finally, thumbs up to you for reading this. You池e never getting that time back.


Kirbey by the talented and generously endowed (probably) Enkido