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BenelliM4
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LONG BLOG

How Megas XLR is blatantly better than No More Heroes.

   0
Does anyone remember that show Megas XLR? Damn I loved that show! It was just two things: Parodies and overkill. Most people say NMH2 is like that, but I wouldn't know; I haven't played it and never will. I have my reasons why that game pisses me off, and you'll know in due time why. (Or maybe I could just write a post about me shouting and giving vague hints about what just happened and make you pay $50 to hear it. Suck on that one, Suda.)

Anyway, after analyzing both characters thoroughly, I have come to the conclusion That Coop Cooplowski from Megas XLR and Travis Touchdown are very similar. Both enjoy wrestling, video games, and junk food. (Yeah, I saw that slice of pizza in your fridge Travis.) In addition, both would be considered losers if they didn't have their trademark weapons. (Actually, Coop's a car-tuner maniac; So give 'em points for that. But he also lives with his mom...) Both live in unorthodox conditions and get into odd situations regularly, and both can't really relate to normal society. Also, both have equally weird friends. (In Travis' case this is more of a 'had.')

But Coop, well... He's just... Better than Travis. In alot of ways. Let me explain:

Megas could kick the shit out of the Glastonbury.

Seriously, am I the only one who thought Travis' robot looked like a pile of shit? I mean, Megas has ejector fists, jets, windshield wipers, and it can open goddamn dimensional rifts! Glastonbury can... Umm... Well, like I said Travis' robot is shit. It has no missiles, lasers, time-travel units, or hot-rod flames; And it doesn't crush the shit out of the DMV. Also, Megas' sword is made out of fuckin' fire.


Hey, Travis, LOOK IT IN THE EYE. I DARE YOU.

Coop would go farther for Jamie.

If Coop's best friend Jamie was killed, or even injured by the Glorft, Coop would simply have to wreck fucking shop for him. He wouldn't wait for those squid-faces to exit null-void, he would take the fight to them! He'd teleport in, and be like "Bring it on you calamari motherfuckers!" And Coop's battle theme 'Short Hair' wouldn't play, 'Coma Dose' would play. (If not, a more brutal version of 'Chopping Spree' would play. Or possibly 'Dead Man,' that's a good one.) And the Glorft radio transmissions that would follow would make you fall off your chair laughing.
"HOLY SHIT IT'S THE EARTHER! AND HE'S HE PISSED AS FUCK! HIT THE DECK! KILL YOURSELVES AND DON'T LET HIM GET YOU! HE'LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT AND USE THEM AS BULLETS FOR HIS LASERS!!! SPARE ME GOD! DON'T LET ME DIE THIS WAY!!! IT'S INSIIIDE OF MEEEE!!!! IT BUUUURNSSS!!!"


Look, but don't touch. And credit for this photo goes to Morgan D. and his good friend Oliver Oberg. I know I don't usually credit photos, but Morgan asked nicely.

Kiva is WAY hotter than Sylvia.

Kiva Andru is a hot piece of ass. Sylvia is not. Sylvia is a cheating, lying, deceptive, bitch. Kiva could kick Sylvia's saggy ass. END O' STORY.


Umm... Ahhh... I need a minute alone. Hey, look a DS!

Ally is WAY hotter than Shinobu.

Face it, Shinobu is just a second girl in the storyline of NMH. Ally plays an important role in Megas XLR; If the Glorft kill her at the rock concert in the episode 'Terminate Her,' then Kiva never would have been born, Megas never would have been sent to the past, and Coop couldn't kick alien ass. What would NMH2 be like without Shinobu? Well, the answer is that no one cares. The fact that she did her job means that you don't have to give an explanation for what would happen if she wasn't there. You don't have to give an explanation for something that is never going to happen.


Maybe you should just leave the room.

Coop is stronger than Travis.

Coop is a BIG guy. He's taller than most people on Megas XLR, and he's stronger than most of them to boot. Seriously, Coop is a fucking behemoth! CRT-TV? Smashed. Tempered glass car window? Smashed. Vat of butter and hot dogs? Chugged. All of them done bare-handed. Can you name anyone who can do that? And even if you can, Travis Touchdown isn't on that list.


That move's called 'The Heartbreaker.'

Coop has an action figure.

A GODDAMN ACTION FIGURE! Does Travis have an action figure? NO. Besides Coop's action figure has 'All-You-Can-Eat-Action.' If Travis did have action figure, it would probably have 'Beam-Katana-Recharging-Action.'


See that? That's merchandising!

I stand corrected... By myself...

Alright, just so I didn't look like an idiot, I decided to Google 'travis touchdown custom.' And I found one... Damn...


I couldn't find a front view. Sorry Charlie.

But Coop's action figure is sold out!

Because Coop bought all of them! Suck on that one little kids!


They've still got Jamie's in stock. Than again, no one likes Jamie.

Megas XLR has a wider variety of music.

No More Heroes has what, 11 songs? Megas XLR has more than 80 songs and still more are undiscovered! The thing is, they're all really good songs! Not the same song you hear all the time in NMH, (Which really got on my nerves.) there's songs like 'Here We Go,' 'Midnight Rodeo,' 'Return Of The Caveman,' 'Ro-Sham-Bo,' 'Short Hair,' and 'The Conqueror.' Check YouTube for the 'Megas XLR Soundtrack Collection.'


This was the last result on the first page when I Google'd 'megas xlr soundtrack.' I chose this image because it's from one of Dtoid's own. Specifically, the great user known as 'SimonSaysDie.'

Megas XLR isn't on Youtube.

BECAUSE CARTOON NETWORK KEEPS ON PULLING THEM BECAUSE THEY HAVE COPYRIGHT PROTECTION BUT THEY DON'T EVEN AIR RERUNS ANYMORE BUT ANYTIME ANYONE PUTS ON EPISODES OF THIS SHOW THEY PULL THEM!!! BULLSHIT!!!

But that leads me to my next my point...

Megas XLR is denied from the public.

And as we know, if something is remotely desirable, the general public never gets to see it. God Hand 2, MadWorld 2, Duke Nukem games, Resident Evil 5: Wii Edition, Dead Rising 2: Wii Edition, Geist 2, Luigi's Mansion 2, Perfect Dark: Wii Edition, water-powered cars, free energy, world peace, 360's that don't overheat, (Boosh!) the list goes on, and on, and on! However, you can find NMH 1&2 .ISOs pretty much anywhere.


This was the first thing Google showed me when I searched 'denied.' It's fitting. But how to finish off the article...

How 'bout one more shot of Kiva?

Sounds good.


Mmmm.... Yeah... It still doesn't fell like enough though. Plus, the view isn't as good as the first Kiva pic. Those legs...

Maybe some 'It's Always Sunny in Philidelphia?'

Perfect!


This is one of my desktop pics.
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About BenelliM4one of us since 4:23 PM on 05.26.2009

 



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