I know these have been doing the rounds recently and it's been a shamefully long time since my†last cblog
, so I figured I'd hash something out.
1. Iím the European Community Manager.
Yes,†that is actually a thing
. I took over from Hollie Bennett in 2011, but it was my totally-not-confusingly-named-at-all counterpart Becca who took over PR responsibilities at the time, so you wonít see me on the front page much. Instead, I moderate the forums and cblogs, answer urgent queries about the release date of Plants vs Zombies: Garden Warfare sent to [email protected]
(this actually happened), and coerce the EU community into playing games with each other at my house.
I begrudgingly answer to Andy.
[Image by AceFlibble] 2. You probably donít know the above because Iím a bigger nerd than you.
You like Mario Kart? Big deal. I research the rebranding and communications strategy of a French, populist, radical right, eurosceptic political party and write words about it†for fun
. Postgraduate studies pretty much rule my life by this point, so I donít get to spend as much time around here as Iíd like.
3. Je parle franÁais, yo.
I used to live and work in France trying (and often failing) to teach kids how pronounce the phoneme Ďthí, among other things. This is constantly used against me.
4. I once encouraged no less than two-dozen people to take pictures of themselves with a jar of mayonnaise.
If you know Conor Elsea, and many of you do, youíll know of his intense hatred of mayonnaise. Knowing this, I came up with a new Ďcommunity featureí. Over the course of the next two days, pictures upon pictures of people talking selfies with that delicious condiment made their way to Conorís Facebook and Twitter feeds. Things escalated pretty quickly. Before long, guys were writing ĎConor ♥í on their bare chests in mayonnaise and everything got a little PG-13 rated. For their own sake, I wonít post the pictures here.
I regret absolutely nothing.
5. I am the worst podcast host ever and have fallen asleep on Communitoid (now Radio Destructoid) no less than three times.
I havenít been able to grace the podcast with my dulcet tones in quite some time, largely due to the fact that we record at 05:00 my time and I went and got a housemate whoíd probably report me to the police (this also happened) for these kind of shenanigans. Of the episodes I did appear on, I honestly donít remember much, besides being in a foul, sleep-deprived mood and insulting everybody who wasnít Jo. I remember Conorís ridiculous pronunciation of Ďlinearí. I usually fell asleep about half-way through and would wake up after Jo and Andy had logged off (something something Ďkidsí excuses) and Conor and Aaron had gone for a smoke break. This is why Iím depicted in the†drawing of the cast
†with my head on the desk in a pool of my own saliva.
6. Iíve gone to crazy lengths to hang out with people I met through Destructoid.
I've been incredibly fortunate to have attended more than my fair share of conventions over the past four years. Off the top of my head: Eurogamer Expo (four times), Rezzed (twice), gamescom (never again), PAX Prime (twice) and most recently, Fanfest. I've flown to Canada, the US, Iceland and Germany. I've been on countless trains and buses in towns and cities and villages in my own country. In 2012, I did a†road trip
†with two of my best friends across the US that totalled over 3400 miles.
And itís never been for the games.
7. I wouldnít be speaking to you now if it werenít for Braid. Braid
gets a lot of stick. But it also marks a defining moment in my life.
I first played Braid
in 2010. I'm fairly sure it was the first indie game I had ever played and I was in love. The mechanics, the art, the music, the references to Mario, the little dinosaurs: everything. But, perhaps bizarrely for a game praised largely for its mechanics, I also loved the story. I thought the writing was beautiful. I had picked up the references to Oppenheimer, but I hadn't figured out the connection to the princess. I just knew that I had to save her.
When I played the ending, when I watched the level in "reverse", when I realised that I was the bad guy all along and that the princess was running from me, that I was the monster, it was like I'd been hit by a truck. No game had ever done that to me before.
And I had absolutely nobody to talk about it with.
I had two people in my life at that point who played games: my brother, who didn't play anything he couldn't shoot, and iceblight, who lived in the middle of nowhere and had the internet connection to go with it. For the first time, I needed to talk to somebody about a game and how it made me feel, and I had nobody.
So I went online to find this somebody. And I found Destructoid. 3.5 years later, I've flown around the world meeting these friends, this family, that I met on the internet. And it never would have happened if the princess hadn't ran from Tim and into the arms of a knight.
Beccy, aged 23
8. I once put an obscene amount of tinned fruit in my mouth for a charity stream.
Given that Spencer ran through San Francisco at night in hot pants
, iceblight did push-ups in the street in just his boxers
, and Conor ate spoonfuls of mayonnaise to Coldplay
, this was pretty tame.
9. I'm credited with one of the†very few negative aspects†attributed to†LUFTRAUSERS.
Yes, the CAINE colour palette was mine. I'm not sorry.
10. PAX Prime makes my year.
And it breaks my heart that I won't be making it this year. Somebody beat Josh at Irish Car Bombs for me.
[Image by MeanderBot]
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